Nearly a year, and 50 pounds gone!
A short success story, there's so much more I want to say, but can't fit it all in here. So instead of inducing you with boredom, here's a short story of success!
From the time I was 12-13, I started packing on the weight. Going from being nearly underweight to almost severely obese for my size and frame was quite a shock. Nearly weighing 90 pounds, and going to 189 in the span of a year can do a lot to mess up a seventh grader’s head. Yes, I was in the seventh grade and obese. Most people tackle weight after college, getting married and settling down, I was only a kid! Then came the teasing and the taunting. One day I watched a movie on lifetime about a girl with an eating disorder. A light bulb ticked off in my impressionable mind. All I had to do was throw up to lose weight. So I started throwing up when I was 12. It didn’t work, so I ate less and threw up what I did eat. My weight fluctuated with my eating patterns all through high school. I binged on vast amounts of calories, and compensated with purging.
I fit the bulimic criteria to a tee when I was 18. I finally achieved my low weight of 135, only to gain it back two months later and then some. I was 175. I met friends that introduced me to drugs. I was taking speed and snorting coke occasionally. I treated drugs the way I did food. I’d binge on coke, adderalls, and whatever else I could get my hands on and go three or four days without eating. Long story short, I moved back home and cleaned up before I ended up on the streets. Even being thin wasn’t worth ruining my life for.
So I read heaps of books. All the while slowly gaining back my post-drug weight up to 175. I remembered low-carb and Atkins from a long time ago. I did it with success before, so why did I quit? Was the question I kept asking myself. So I started cutting out bread, starches and likely binge foods. When I wanted to binge, I ate plenty of protein, and sometimes compensated with purging, even with the protein. Eventually though, my appetite started to satiate, even to the point where purging seemed like a chore rather than a solution. And somehow I stopped. I haven’t purged in nearly three months, and my body is thanking me for it. I’m now down to my normal weight of 135 and look great.
I have more self-respect, I’m no longer promiscuous and have no desire to engage in drug related activities. I burned those bridges when I moved back home. I don’t even crave the desire to binge out of control. I allow room if I want something. I take a few bights of a cookie, a piece of pie, but never the whole thing, never second helpings. I fill up on plenty of protein and vegetables. Sure, I’d like to lose ten more pounds, but it’s not controlling my life or my ability to have a good time and feel comfortable in my own skin. If I lose ten pounds, then fine, but if not, I’m at peace where I am.
I know three months isn’t a long time to consider myself a success, but for me, I’ve done a complete 360 turn over. I no-longer feel rejected if I’m not with a man, or engaging in sexual behavior. I want a real life now, with Mr. Right. I think I deserve those things now. I know for some, weightloss and healthy eating is about looking good, or being well. For me, it was all those things and then some. When I tempered my appetite, and my desires, I learned self-respect. If I could say NO to bingeing, I learned how to say NO to people as well. Now I know when I’m truly hungry, and I eat. I no longer eat out of depression, out of turmoil, or lack of self-respect. Sometimes I get the urge to binge and purge, but I just know exactly what will happen, and I have no desire to put myself through it again. I handle my mistakes, and move onwards.
I never thought I’d have a success story. I always thought I’d be fat, yo-yoing on the scale. I’ve maintained this weight for two months, and I’m damn proud of myself. And I think now I have a handle on what my body needs, so I think I will continue down the road to healthy eating and a healthy weight. I don’t have the same fears I used to when I was young. Now I’m no longer afraid to go back to school, and I want to go this semester and get my feet on the ground. If I can do this, I think anyone can!
Bakerchic
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