Hi All,

I'm one of those folks who has hit the all time low. After seeing my wedding pics I was devistated by my looks. My new sister in law actually gave me the atkins book and said "you need to diet". Talk about insulting, but heck, shes right. She loves her brother and doesnt want him married to a mess like me!

I was always active, play sports, softball, volleyball, ski, and the lazy sports too like darts, billiards, etc. Ate what I wanted, was muscular and although I was never "skinny" I was always tone, solid and everyone always told me how great I looked.

I had leg/ankle/foot surgery about 3.5 years ago after suffering a multiple compound fracture in a softball tournament and since gained about 80 lbs. I can no longer do ANYTHING physical that has impact on my ankle, no running, no lunging, no jumping.....ARG!!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooooooooo depressed, I can barely stand myself.

I have always been the life of the party, the person at work people lived vicariously through ("hey I cant wait to hear what you did this past weekend") etc, but the last 6 months I have found myself becoming an introvert, invisible, miserable....

I'm successful, I have a great job, a beautiful house, a husband that loves me to death.... yet.....I cant STAND to be around me right now.

I have been on the induction for close to 3 weeks (on wed). I do feel a little better, like cravings have stopped, my pants dont feel as tight. I cant bear to even buy a scale...

I have never dieted before, so this is my first try. I'm usually successful in everything I really set my mind to, but I really feel like I need some support. It has been very comforting to read all the stories of success, and how happy people are. I want to be one of those people SO BADLY

Daily stuggles:
1. I am still addicted to caffein (I have cut down from 3 mugs coffee to 1 cup tea)
2. I am having bouts of diarreah of all things! (when others are complaining of constipation) I'm gonna go to the forum where you can lookup medical stuff and see what I can find.
3. Cooking for my new husband who is NOT dieting (dear god, how I made it through cooking potato salad, pasta/tuna salad, and baked beans.. I should get an award for that alone!)
4. Drinking alcohol. I'm a social drinker, and its difficult to go to parties and picnics and NOT have a drink. Friday nights are a huge problem for me, nearly all our friends go to a local club to drink and listen to music. The only times I have cheated were friday nights, and after 50 glasses of water, finally break down and have a shot or two of vodka. YIKES!

So I have cheated on what SHOULD BE AN EASY DIET, and now I feel like even a bigger loser! ARG!

With my two Friday night exceptions, I have done well, I think I just need some words of encouragement! I am dreading this Friday, but want to continue my normal life, and not "hole up" because I am overweight!

Thanks for listening everyone.

Hello and welcome! It's really good to have you join us here. There is lots of support and information available here. As far as the diarreah is concerned...are you eating Atkins bars or anything that has sugar alcohols in it? That will cause bathroom problems for some people. Take baby steps until you get to where you can take bigger steps. You are on the right road! As far as your sister-in-law, well I guess she meant well. I've got some of those in my family too. Still...
You can do this sweetie! If I can ANYBODY can. Keep us posted and good luck to you! Oh yeah...it helps me to remember that if I drink alcohol, my body is going to burn that instead of extra calories until it is all gone.

Hi BelmontLil,
First off, your SIL is rude. Secondly, if you want support in doing Atkins or some other LC plan, you have come to the right place! This forum rocks.

This is my 4th week on Atkins and I love it. Many others on this forum are more experienced/knowledgable than I, but I'm happy to give you my $0.02. On to your specific points:

1. Going from 3 mugs coffee to 1 mug tea is great. That's huge progress! I am still drinking 1 mug of coffee a day myself (and occassionally a Diet Coke). Would cutting it out altogether be better? Yes, but where you are now is fine too.

2. I think a lot of people have experienced this due to a sudden increase in their fat intake. Searching these forums for more info is a good idea.

3. Okay, this will depend on your marriage, but "as for me & my house" -- my DH is welcome to eat some of whatever I cook. If he would like something in addition to that, he knows how to make it himself.

4. It is better to do induction alcohol-free, but you know that. I made it through the 2 weeks, but the first day I was on OWL I had 3 gin & tonics with friends that night. I wouldn't advise this, but it turned out okay for me. (I used diet tonic with 0 carbs, sweetened with sacharrin.) From what I've read on these boards there are many people who drink while LCing, so you might want to search on that as well.

Please don't think of your slip-ups as "cheating." This is supposed to be a new way of life, not a temporary diet. Life involves good days and bad days. So you're less than perfect -- who isn't? Someone on here has in their signature the quote, "Progress, not perfection." I think that's the best advice you can get for just about anything. You are making progress! You are doing great!

If you have some time, read through the journals of some other forum members. You'll see that each day is different and no one adheres to any plan perfectly. Yet we are all succeeding! This is a long-haul thing. If you need a little caffeine or low-carb booze now and then in order to make your WOL more enjoyable, so be it.

Lil

Geeze -- reading your post you sound EXACTLY like me (well -- my leg is one place I haven't had surgery) .. but it sounded like I was reading an exerpt from one of my diaries ..

Now -- lets start looking at your concerns .....

.....Daily stuggles:
1. I am still addicted to caffein (I have cut down from 3 mugs coffee to 1 cup tea)
I have not stopped drinking my coffee (to much relief of my co-workers ).. and I have an average of 3-5 cups of coffee within the morning hours .. (hey -- everyone needs an eye opener) ....

2. I am having bouts of diarreah of all things! (when others are complaining of constipation) I'm gonna go to the forum where you can lookup medical stuff and see what I can find.
Whenever you have a change of eating habits .. you're body will have to take time to adjust .. examine what you are eating .. are you taking any vitamins??? Keep a log of what you are eating .. are you eating any of the "specific" Atkins or Low Carb products .. because they can have that effect on people ...

3. Cooking for my new husband who is NOT dieting (dear god, how I made it through cooking potato salad, pasta/tuna salad, and baked beans.. I should get an award for that alone!)
Boy -- can I relate to this one .. My husband has the house filled with his junkfood .. He is the KING of junkfood junkies .. and I can't ever plan on changing him .. In our pantry is Potato chips, cookies, cake mixes ... in the freezer is ice cream, hicarb frozen meals, frozen treats, and good grief if I really wanted to go carb crazy, all I'd have to do is go into his playroom .. everywhere you turn is some kind of candy .. ..
You have to remember -- you are doing this for you .. and yes; there are times you'll have to dig really down deep to find the will power, but remember --- THIS IS FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE .. You could be like some of the people around here and once their husbands saw the results they were getting they started to turn more and more of their eating towards the LC lifestyle ..

4. Drinking alcohol. I'm a social drinker, and its difficult to go to parties and picnics and NOT have a drink. Friday nights are a huge problem for me, nearly all our friends go to a local club to drink and listen to music. The only times I have cheated were friday nights, and after 50 glasses of water, finally break down and have a shot or two of vodka. YIKES!
I too am a social drinker .. and being an extremely shy person (can't believe it can you ) I thought I needed to have a drink because as you had explained .. I too was at the bottom of the barrel with my self esteem .. and because I was not happy with the way I looked anymore, I thought the only way people would like me is if I would be alittle more loosened up .. and unfortunately the only way that happened was with a drink .. Now -- I was far from an alcoholic .. because in everyday life I never even thought about it .. I have worked hard ... to create a new person .. and start to like myself more and more .. and now you know what ... I can go to a party and have SODA .. and you know what else .. PEOPLE ENJOY MY COMPANY !!! And by the way .. A = 1 drink every once in a while is NOT going to hurt anything .. enjoy it when you have it ..

Sweetie --- you just have to remember -- right now -- work on this one day at a time .. as for exercise .. start with short walks .. this is not as stressful on the legs .. work your way back up to longer walks ..

Don't look at how things WERE .. and I could crawl through this screen and bop your new sisterinlaw over the head with the Adkins book .. I'm sorry, but that was down right rude .. instead of approaching it like that .. she should have offered help .. grrrrrr people like that just get me so angry .. (okay -- I'm done now )

You have found the best support site on the internet .. and I truly hope to see you floating around .. stop by and visit .. I love the company .. start a journal .. and then people drift through and can maybe point out things that are going to stop and stall you ...

Oh -- yea .. I forgot .. My name is Sally --- I've been on this eating plan for about 2 1/2 years now .. and have been a member for about 1 1/2 years .. .. something like that -- and believe me .. this is the best site .. and I'm being 100% honest when I say that .. the people here are sooo knowledgable .. and the different locations on the site can be such a great help too ..

Float around .. and I truly hope to see you around .. Remember -- One day at a time .. and you're doing this for YOU ... Not your sisinlaw, not your husband .. YOU and ONLY YOU!!!!

Talk later ...

You can do it! I am only 4 days into this and also need support. Alcohol is not a problem for me but caffeinne is.... my first 2 days of atkins were pure hell! I basically laid up in bed and slept or moaned and groaned because I had such a terrible headache and felt so dizzy and ill! I really feel better but I am still tired....cant wait until that burst of energy hits..still waiting!

I think the answers given above are pretty good and cover about what I would say so I'll just say... come here when you feel weak and read a testimony or a success story! it'll help! I notice your stats arent there but if you'll notice mine over there....I have as LONG ways to go as well....

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I think I will stick around. Sometimes it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but I know there is...

My "old me" is in here somewhere, and maybe I cant eat everything and do everything I did before, but I know I can find a comfortable goal and make it.

I think thats part of my frustration also. Knowing that I used to just stay active and exercise a lot and not worry about eating. All of the sudden, my life feels "food focused".

After yesterday's venting session, i talked to a friend who is an orthodaedic doc, and he told me I can buy a cross trainer eliptical machine, which will not have impact on my leg/ankle. He said it would take a while to build up my strength again, but it would be a good start.

I'm going to look into that too. I think doing SOMETHING physical will make me feel better as well.

Thanks again for the kind words.

P.S. tomorrow will be week 3. And today for the first time in LOOOOOOOONG Time, I felt full after only 3/4 of my breakfast. I actually gave the rest to the dog and said "son of a gun... I'm full and i didnt eat as much"... Maybe success comes in little things like that.

Boy -- what a difference one day can make .. I'm so happy that you have decided to stick around for awhile ..

You may want to set yourself up a journal .. this is a solid location for people (such as me -- until you kick me out) to stop by and visit on a regular basis ..

I was actually going to come in this morning, because no matter if a person has a handicap or is 100% healthy .. there is ALWAYS SOME kind of exercise that can be done .. but you have to put out the effort .. and it sounds like you've taken step one .. that's wonderful .....

Plus I'm super proud of you that you stopped eating when you were comfortably full .. that's one thing after about 2 1/2 years .. that I'm STILL stuggling with .. If you can lick that step .. you'll do wonderfully !!!

For awhile .. until your new way of life becomes regular routine, you're going to feel that your life is "food focused" .. but eventually it becomes second nature .. and second nature to stay away from sugar laden foods, and carb laden foods ..

Stay around here .. and if and when the urges arise .. come in here (in your journal) and post your feelings, cravings .. and get it out of your system like that ... instead of ingesting the carbs .. "Get thee behind me Satan" .. I've been finding myself saying that alot these last few weeks ..

Anyway .. I'm glad to read that you have relaxed alittle bit .. it shows in your writing this morning ... take one day at a time .. and this too you can conquer!!!!!!

Talk again ... and just remember -- we're all in the same boat .. and can 100% understand .. you're so close to me 2 1/2 years ago, it's scarey ...


(ps .. and yes -- enjoy the little successes !!! and this will become much more fun!!!! )

Hi Lil,

In reading your post it sounds like we have somewhat similar personalities – except for the “active in sports” part. I have no talents along those lines. My “sports” always were more individual. Horseback riding when I was a kid and when I was an adult, Jazzercise. Unfortunately Jazz is a little too expensive right now, plus I’m dealing with a very painful heel spur. Actually I’ve been told it’s not actually the spur but the Plantar’s fashitis that causes the pain. Whatever it is, it is horrendous at times.

I know what the self-loathing feels like but I’m so much better than I was. I started a thread here about “Are you invisible?” There were a lot of wonderful replies to that.

I was a Diet Pepsi freak. Gave it up completely for several weeks and now I do allow myself one or two a week. It’s almost too sweet now.

I agree with everyone here – your sister-in-law was pretty rude. That could have been approached in a completely different and less offensive manner.

It’s harder if you have to cook for yourself and another person. My niece lives with me and she successfully lost some weight with a low-fat diet, but she kept getting into my cheese and cream and high fat items. So she finally went low carb, although I don’t think she’s settled on any one way of eating. That part, is probably very frustrating for you.

I hope you can settle in. Low carbing, with all the recipes there are, is actually fun for me. I don’t think I could do it with just meat, tuna and cheese. The variety keeps it fresh and new.

You are doing great!!

Hey there Lil!

Welcome! Hope you stay!

You know, it gets me so pissed when people tell you "Oh, you've gained weight. You should try dieting." Firstly, if no one else knows it, I DEFINITELY know when I gain weight - so I don't need someone to tell me that! Also, only you can decide when you are ready to go on a diet. You know your circumstances. So yes, I agree your sil was rude - even though I'm sure she had your best interest at heart.

I used to hate when people would say "I remember you when you were small. What happened to you? Why did you put on all this weight?" I was always on the tip of my tongue to reply "I didn't do it on purpose and I certainly didn't order it from a catalogue. But things happen in a person's life that causes unforseen actions. Like some people are alcoholics. Do you tell them you remember when they could drink only 1 drink? Do you ask them why they keep drinking? Back off!!"

But no, I never told them that - but I did come close on a few occasions. I too have never been thin, but I was very fit and toned. Last year April, while studying for my bar exams, I gained 45 lbs in 6 wks. I went from size 10 to size 16 in 6 weeks! Imagine that!

And instead of dieting after the exams, I kept the bad eating habits, and now here I am at 200 lbs. Finally, I decided it was time for me to do something about it. No one else could tell me it was time to start, I had to make that decision on my own!

So all in all....stick with it. It will be hard, it will be trying, it will be upsetting at times. But fight with it and you will succeed! But I sure do wish it was as easy to lose the weight as it is for me to gain it!!

My hubby is also a junkfood/carb addict. He NEVERS gains weight and is thin. It just isn't fair at all. I have stopped cooking carbs (rice, pasta etc). I told him if he wants those things, he'll have to make it himself. I asked him to support me in this WOE and he is understanding. When he wants his carbs, he makes them now. However, I still have to buy the junkfood. And believe me when I say I can hear the Doritos and Cheetos CALLING my name - especially late at night on the weekends! But I just resist (though believe me it's HARD!!!!)

You should start a journal though. That way we can keep in touch and I can read it and see how you're doing. And you want to know something? You've already done the hardest part - starting! Stick with it. Just imagine how happy you will be with yourself if you keep up this WOE until Christmas.

I am a social drinker - and that is probably my hardest challenge. I love rum and normally drink it with ginger ale. Normally my hubby and I would have a couple drinks a few evenings a week and the weekends. Now, however, I haven't had any alcohol in 4 weeks! I'm going to try to stick with this until Christmas and then enjoy the egg nog!

After saying that though, our office is having a cocktail hour on Thurs and I always go. Now I'm debating whether or not to go. If I go, then I'll definitely drink. If I don't go, then I won't drink. It's a HARD decision!

Hope you are doing well and sorry to be babbling on and on. Have a good day!

Feel free to stop by my journal anytime and let me know how you're doing. Hopefully you'll start a journal (it helps keep track of your foods and I'm less likely to cheat if I have to write it down!) and I can come visit you too.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone so much. Geeze right when I thought I was going to crash and burn out of this, you guys have really thrown me a life preserver. I guess thats the whole idea of support!

Well its working. Since I am dieting alone, now I dont feel alone. :-)

I must have re-read everyones advise plus a dozen other new posts and its really re-encouraged me.

And I learned about fitday.com too, which I now have an account on. Its soooo much easier to track your food/carbs this way. I think I will take all 3 weeks of my food and enter it and run one of those fancy reports!

Question to harleydee - did you choose your nickname from harley-davidson. Me and my husband also ride.

Princesspp - your picture of 50lbs less is wonderful! I WANT to be able to post a picture like that soooooo bad!

I notice so many people have goals, mini-goals, and rewards for themselves listed in their signature. My goal for the next week is to buy a scale. Weigh myself and then set and mark some goals.

p.s. my SIL called to ask if I read the book she gave me a month ago. I said "yes, I did. And in any other circumstance I would have told you to go screw for being rude to me, however, the book has actually helped me start a new way of eating, so thank you for that".

Thanks again to you all. I almost jumped off the carb-cliff a few days ago. You are all truely a life raft!

Hi and welcome. I hope you find help with all of us here.

I am with the peanut gallery on your SIL. What a horrible thing to do to someone.

Now my theorys on "dieting" are this.

This must be set in your mind to be a change of habits and a new way of life. Because it is the long term thinking and consistancy that really change your body, health and mind. Now with that in mind you need to really think about how you plan to live and what you are willing to lose from your daily eating.

There are many LC plans, and although I am a REAL PRO ATKINS person other plans may work better for your family life to start.

Read on the right "which low carb plan is right for me?" and see if something strikes you as more comfortable.

All the best to you!

I am so happy to see that you are feeling better .. Like I said before .. I've been to that dark destitude place (as I'm sure many people around here have); and could understand fully your feelings .. and I'm so happy to be seeing positive notes being thrown into your writings ..

I think you handled your SIL with dignity .. and maybe some day you will be able to sit down with her and then hit her upside the head with the book, and explain politely after you have had your success .. that she could have been a little more diplomatic about her approach ...
because I can almost guarentee that as this way of life starts working for you, your self esteem will start rising ..

I too am in a marriage (for the last 25 years), where my husband has seen my successes but really wants nothing to do with my way of eating but I'm okay with that .. I feel it's made me a stronger person .. when he does eat my way .. he can't understand why the scale goes up the next day .. well -- duh .. I've been doing this for over 2 years .. not just one meal .. .. plus I don't dive into a bag of chips afterwards ... .. guys -- go figure !!!

Just one thing though .. start thinking of this new healthier lifestyle as a "WAY OF LIFE" and your new eating habits as a "WAY OF EATING" ... get rid of that 4 letter word (diet) from your vocabulary .. unless it refers to a soda .. because a diet is a short term fix .. this is a lifetime of commitment to health .. and it will become habit as time goes on .. and you'll end up not even thinking twice about how your eating .. This is a whole process .. from ridding your body of carbs, to continuing with your losses .. to learning how to maintain your losses so it doesn't come back on .. in other words finding your "tolerance" level of carbs .. the level that will leave you at the weight that you are (when your maintaining) and not gain ..

Anyway .. just wanted to stop by and say I'm so happy to see that you are looking at this in less of a panic and loathing, and more of a positive outlook .. You WILL get to My before and after pictures .. and as long as you come on line ... I will be here to make sure that you do .. (unless to get rid of me first ) but remember -- this was after a year of work .. this is what makes me double proud to post them .. as I'm not one of the lucky ones that will drop fast .. but either way -- the final results have been there .. I'm sure we can do this together ..

Talk later sweetie .. and keep the book as reference .. it DOES have alot of good points in there ..

.. hang in there .. we can do this !!!

i am new to this diet also and like you i never had a problem with weight until i got married 6 years ago since then i have gained 40 lbs!!i look at myself in the mirror and am shocked that thats me yuk!i also am a social drinker we go out about once a week maybe i will try the gin and tonics dont know if the bar we go to has low cal tonic though.i have been told i am not fat just full figured!! so full figured my belly is now bigger than my boobs!!so maybe if we stick together we will make it to our goals mine is to loose at least 30 lbs,hope i make it.see ya

Thanks again princesspp and ikonzelman

You are right, its NOT a diet. I keep saying it because sometimes people look at me strange when I toss the bread at a lunch meeting, or something. I really dont know WHAT to say, what are the right words?

My mother almost cried when we went over for dinner and I couldnt eat anything but the salad and vegetables because she made stuffed peppers full of rice! She kepts saying "but these are all natural ingredients, this isnt BAD for you". I had to keep saying "I know its not BAD, its just not on my acceptable food list right now" and later that "the rice isnt doing my metabolism any good"... Explaining is the hard part.

donnah1 - nice to meet you too. This thread was my huge cry for help, and as you can see, many folks responded.

I vow to walk tonight, even if I cant walk fast.

If you want an explaination to give to people and you want it to be simple try:

I know I need to cut down foods to lose weight and be healthy.

My options are low fat and low calorie but I found I was always hungry and still had problems losing.

I discovered that fat doesn't make you fat if you cut out the carbs like sugar, flour and rice. Then I get to eat and get full and burn fat.

So i'm trying that for a while to see how I feel.