Hi -- If I posted this in the wrong place, I'm sorry.

On Thursday, I lost my most devoted best friend of the past 18 years. My pet, Blacquie - the family cat. Perhaps, you do not think this would affect you, but it does. This cat and daughter grew up together and she was my shadow, comforter when I needed, back walker when I was stiff, and purred constantly.

It just seemed like over night, she was get so thin and could barely walk. It was so painful to see her and she could not even whimper. She went out like the lady she was. In her sleep, stretched out so royally. I miss her so much, and so does my daughter. She was such a part of our lives.

Over the weekend, a local boy was killed on the tracks. He and a friend were leaving McD's and stopped to put quarters on the rails to flatten them. There was a local train stopped at the station, and I can only guess they didn't see the freight train coming. One boy had walked away and was waiting for his friend on the other side. He saw the entire thing.

The child that was killed, was a delightful, happy, polite wonderful boy. I have had him several times in classes and currently in my math class. It was so hard today going to work and having to deal with this.

We had social workers, psychologists to work with us and the kids. They were in and out of the rooms all day long. There was a special meeting for the teachers on the correct information and how to deal with questions and most importantly to encourage the children to be kind to the boy who lost his best friend.

The weekend was difficult. I will admit and yet, I managed to make it through until 3:00 p.m today -- Monday. I just gave in and ate about 14 mini chocolate eggs that were in a container on the desk of the teachers' desk that I was using. I can not even tell you what they tasted like.... I unwrapped them as fast as I could stuff them in.

Why did I let this happen to me? Why can't I be strong like the rest of you? I know that I was emotionally beat, worn out and still sad -- yet, is that an excuse to eat candy?

I am not beating myself up, and yes, I can rationalize my behavior, yet, does this make me a weak person? I am sure many of you would not have fallen and eaten the candy.
Why don't I have this resolve?

I need to gather my inner peace, so that I do not continue on this eating trend and eat and eat for no reason.

Thank you for reading my post,

ATM

Oh my God, you've had a rough time!

You are certainly not the only one who has fallen off the wagon when overwelmed with emotion. I've not yet faced that kind of loss while low-carbing so I don't have much too add, but just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

Arnie

Arnie -
Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your kind words.


ATM

It is very tough to deal with strong emotions, especially after sudden losses like yours. Don't beat yourself up, just get back on the wagon, and determine to find a different way to handle stress, grief, etc. It isn't easy, I know.

Some of the methods I use include deep, slow breathing-sounds funny, but it works to center you if you stick to it for even a few minutes; eating or drinking something safe-like diet soda or a slice of Atkins bar(small); drinking tomato juice to make the sweet craving go away; and my first plan (or it should be), prayer!!

I hope any of this helps you. It will get better, but you do have to live through it in the mean time.

Best Wishes

Dear AThinMe

The losses you have just experienced are terrible. I am fortunate in that in my life I have had not had to experience many losses of persons - my Father-in-Law who I loved dearly died but he was 87 and had had a great life, died suddenly and without prolonged illness or great pain. We greived but knew it was all for the best. I did have a loss of a pet which was similar to yours, a wonderful dog, we got her when she was a pup and she was with us for 12 years - my youngest son was 2 when we got her he is hyper-active and carried that poor puppy around upside down and chased her - she loved him as she loved us all, (he was not cruel to her - just not the best at handling her) she seemed to sense that he had some disablities and always watched out for him, she was my constant companion and when she became ill and the most humane solution was to have her put down, before we went to the vet we all sat down at the pond where I used to always feed her the last of my lunch and although she was hardly able to walk any more she perked up when we headed to the car and jumped in to the back seat as if she knew what was happening and wanted to go to peace. we all missed her. For me though it was something more - I had to adjust to getting out of bed and stepping over a dog that was no longer there - she always slept on the floor at my side of the bed. I had to adjust to automaticlly lifting my feet when I moved from the sink in the kitchen - because she wasn't there. It took me about a week before I could cry - and when I started to it felt as if there would never be an end. I have another dog now and I love her very much - but I still cry at times remembering my Tickles.

With all that you have been through it is understandable that you lapsed a little - but you understand why and now you are ready to regain control. The days ahead will still be rough but - you will reach some peace and be able to go on.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. A beloved pet is no less of a family member - especially after that long. That is very sad. I lost my siamese cat who was 17 about 2 years ago, and i still miss him. You have every right to grieve. I think that you did very well, eating just the eggs. These things happen. Don't beat yourself up about it anymore - just get back to the program, and get on with things. First and foremost, you must take care of yourself, and be extra nice to you at this time. Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Hang in there

Hi ATM

You've really had a rough time...with the loss of that poor child and your beloved Blacquie!....Take advantage of the counselors!

Boy I know how hard it is to lose a pet. My heart goes out to you! You sound like me and my husband...our pets are like our children. We've lost 3 dogs over the years....and each loss was like a knife in our heart!

Right now, we're dreading the time that will come with our golden retriever Casey. He is 15 1/2... and blind and deaf (for the past year and a half)....He has troubles with his back legs sometimes...but he is still happy...eats well, etc. He has given us so much happiness over the years....and much less problems than our children have!

I just hope when his time comes, he goes like your beloved Blacquie...in his sleep. We dread the thought of having to take another trip to the vet!...We've done that twice before...and stayed with them the whole time....SO hard!...but they deserved that we were with them to the end...it was the least we could do to repay their devotion! If only people were as loving and loyal!

So, don't worry about your slip-up. Sometimes its more important to just do what you feel like!....and I'm sure you'll be back on the wagon soon! You've just been through a lot! Take care of yourself! KC

in a way that respects his warm nature. Perhaps writing a note to his family expressing how he was a valuable part of your class and a short remembrance of something he had done that you will recall when you think of him. They will , of course, receive many many condolence cards etc but a heartfelt articulate teacher letter will become part of their own helpful means to deal with this tragedy. PERMIT yourself to have emotion including sadness over this - use the counselors yourself- they are not just there for the kids but for the whole school community. Rededicate yourself to healthier eating - maybe organize a recess 'walk-a-thon' to raise $ to create a memorial donation of some type that the kids of the school could contribute too - even small amounts add up and can donate a book or two in this child's name and interests to both the school and public library. Plus you set a model for others to actions.
just my humble opinion - from another teacher


Jan

I extend my condolences to you. I understand what it is to lose someone you love. My wonderful cat Sarrazin died 2 years ago at age 22 and I was devastated. I was still dealing with the loss of my dear father a few years before and the combination sent me into a real spin.

It took me some time, but I now have a wonderful little Pug dog who keeps me laughing and loved, and although I still and will always miss Sarrazin, I know life is so much better and richer with animal companions.

I still miss my dad everyday, but I try to honor him everyday by following the fine example he gave me. And most especially by loving those around me more. When I get impatient with someone I care for, I remember Dad, and that reminds me to slow down and love them all the more.

I wish I knew something to say to make you feel better. I can tell you that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. It took an incredible amount of strength just to go to work.

That kind of strength will see you through. If I learned nothing else from these losses, it is that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I'm sure you will find that true as well.

I wish you peace.

Thank you so much for all your kind words and shared stories. Everyone of them has helped me.

I am feeling better today......and can deal with everything - at least I believe so. Thank you for giving me the strength I needed and for taking the time to read my post.

Regards,

A Thin Me.

I'm sorry for the loss of your kitty. Many people don't understand that losing a pet can be as devastating as losing any other family member. I still dream about my cat, who died a year and a half ago, but in my dreams, Dover is active and purring and playful instead of tired and in pain from his heart condition. Hope you have those dreams too.