I appreciate all the kind words about my doing this for my mom. I do want her to get back her dignity and remain herself for longer, but I need to also be honest about to what degree this is for me.
Others here, who have dealt with AD in a parent will relate when I say there is a kind of grief involved. Once your mom or dad goes finally around the bend, or even gets so that they don't resemble the person you loved for your whole life, it's like they died. And yet, as a Christian, I don't have the comfort of believing she's in a better place. If I can avoid that for as long as possible, I will be happier. Yes, she will too, but selfishly, I will be.
Also, I struggle with walking the line that I need to, vis a vis patience and tolerance. I would almost be happy to take care of her if she had her old judgment and common sense back, whether she knew me or not, despite what I wrote above about grief. The conventional wisdom is not to argue with her and just keep her complacent, happy and safe. I'm sorry but if I did that, she'd be a mess by now. As it is, she tries harder, and does remember more than she did before she had the stimulation of living here. I challenge her to remember what she can and to use her brain as much as possible. They talk about giving them puzzles to do, yadda yadda... None of that has helped her as much as making her think about who this or that grandchild belongs to, or what we were just talking about. I am not always a sweet daughter.
This morning, she asked for a second piece of gf toast to put her blueberry puree spread on and I talked her out of it. I suggested she eat it on her eggs. I love fruit with eggs and as much as I love them, I would not like them if I didn't drink fruity flavored water with them. I also offered to just get out the package of blueberries and let her have a serving of them. Then, I went back to my room to change for the day. I went back out when finished and found her with a piece of DH's whole wheat bread, that she had gotten for herself, on which to spread the blueberry puree. I was furious! I didn't realize that today would be the day she would quit remembering past symptoms from eating wheat (horribly runny nose that keeps her awake at night, transitioning to not being able to breathe, so more insomnia from that) and her despair from Sunday morning, over her memory and the advance of the AD. We had a small row over it, but I relaxed when I realized she had forgotten. So, we came up with a new way for her to end her meal with a pleasant taste in her mouth. I'll either give her some strawberries and cream, or she can have the Mio drink that I enjoy. I know it's chemical, but unless the docs in the book say it's a definite no-no, it will have to be a compromise.

Oh my gosh, that problem-solving about the breakfast and ending her meal with pleasant taste, PLUS the pressure of always being sweet, sounds exhausting to me. My mom passed away but I can't imagine working with her to this degree, LOL. She was the boss of her all the way to the day she died at 76.

Blueberries and cream is good too.

Another issue, I understand, is that many older people not only lose their tastebuds, but also the ability to swallow the way they used to. This is especially marked in those with memory issues.

However, I've also read that a lot of the problem is simply that they are not getting enough hydration or nutrition. They settle for things that are cheap, or things that are easy, and this makes any problem they might have, worse.

I don't know how well it could work, since she's so used to eating a certain way, but getting her more water to drink and encouraging her to eat more nutrient-dense foods (seafood is a particularly good choice for this) might help, too.

I do think it made a big difference when I brought her home and started feeding her our groceries. My brother was buying what she ate before she broke her hip. She loves, loves, loves shrimp, so as long as I keep her out of that farm raised Chinese shrimp, we're good.

Newport said later that the effects of CO don't stay for long so it was important to have doses throughout the day.

Use organic, refined CO and mix it with butter, put it in a container and let her spread it.

To get her to give up carby stuff more easily, go to Maria Emmerichs site and check out her bread recipe. It looks like bread and tastes better than GF bread.
There're many recipes that'll help including jelly made with tea.

Changing the diet of someone with dementia can be challenging since you may get verbal agreement but because of the dementia, it may not carry over at meal time.
That is why it may be easier to switch out recipes.

So many great thoughts, Jem. I really appreciate your input. The butter idea is brilliant. Why does it need to be refined CO? My sister saw some of that in the store at a really good price but we passed. Maybe we need to go see if it's still there. I'll definitely go to Maria Emmerich's site. She's one of the contributors to "Keto Clarity" iirc. I completely agree about making these changes and you're spot on, regarding her memory and willingness.

Refined CO does not taste like coconut so the butter will still taste like butter. The organic is not chemically processed.

Hope it all goes well and more easily.

She won't notice the taste unless it's really strongly like coconut. I actually don't think it's possible to strong enough for that, as coconut is relatively mild in nature anyway. So, cold pressed is fine? I think that's what we have.

Also, I put coconut oil in my morning smoothie. You can't tell.

How do you keep it liquid? I've wanted to put it in mine so bad but it hardens when it hits the cold liquid and then it whirls out to the pitcher and sticks to it, allowing the rest of the smoothie to be poured away. I have to scrape the sides and just eat it.

I melt it and then add to the mix with the blender running...kind of like when you make mayo.

I use a stick blender, though, but same thing.

That doesn't work for me. It hardens instantly and whirls out, sticking to the cup. My sister puts it in cold and it makes a crunchy smoothie, but I still lose a lot of it when I do that. A stick blender does do a little better though.

Nature's Way makes a liquid coconut oil that is 93% MCT oil instead of the solid that is 62%. Think they are taking on the skinnyfat people with a version available in stores. Stupidest packaging ever (squeeze bottle of rock-hard plastic) but might be a good thing to drizzle in her smoothies. Won't solidify, for sure.

I could check that out, for sure. Maybe I'll have to order it online, though. Thanks

Weird, mine works. But then, I have a Ninja, which pulverizes basically, everything.