Well thanks to Angela, I took a closer look at some numbers on Fit Day. The pepperoni counts they were giving me were too high. I plugged it in as a custom food and the calories went from 2669 to 2409. A difference of 260 calories!!! Not that 2400 is great, but I consider between 1800 and 2000 good and 2000 - 2300 OK...so 2400 is a lot closer to OK than 2669! Makes me wonder how acurate other things are on there... Also, Tuesdays totals went down 278 calories to 2766...again not good, but at least not over 3000!
Will talk more later!

~Michelle

Today was one of those days...and it's still early yet! I overslept, had time for my coffee in a to-go cup and a piece of cheese in the other hand...and off to work. I'm on lunch now eating a big green salad with blue cheese and a plain hamburger patty.

Will drink good water right after and that should hold me. I kind of like starting my day late for the simple reason that I've already skipped a meal! Otherwise, this would have been my second of the day!

For me, I think I can do with less food than required by the guidelines, but not more! If I'm not hungry, and I don't eat...maybe just a piece of turkey and some nuts to keep a bit stabalized, fine...but doing without big meals is something I don't worry about.

I'd like to lose another 20 pounds...and I think the missing ingredient is the exercise. I have to start WALKING the way I used to...boy, did I firm up...legs and all!

Well, it won't be today, but it HAS to be soon. Jeez...I have a treadmill in the living room for pete's sake...

Okay, what is up with this???

I'm up 3 pounds today...

I'm willing to believe that it will stabalize around 165, but still...that's no loss!!!

I'm going to get mean with myself this weekend...want different results on Monday. That's it...

How's everyone else doing? Is it just me that can't clean up the act??? Again, it's not the wrong foods, it's too much of the right ones. GGrrrrrr.......

Hi all, can I join in too? Carb creep (and sloth creep ) is exactly where I'm at too.

I need to:

drink enough water
cut down (if not completely) the wine
put my food through fitday again (scared to!)
wean myself off diabetic chocolate (maltilol)
cut back on all coffee, especially caffeinated

and get back running and to the gym again.

Need to get the motivation to do it properly again. Roll on the end of February, everything is easier once spring is here (well that's my excuse for the moment!)

Of course you can! Welcome!

OK...today has been going good...still maintaining the 2# gain...but with TOM arriving yesterday, I am counting on it being water. PLEASE let me be right!

I had 1734 calories and 29 ECC yesterday. Didnt exercise because I had stuff going on, but did this morning...

We all just keep going, one step at a time!!

~Michelle

Donna, I can't seem to get strict with myself, either.

I think I've finally figured out why: I'm used to associating carb control with weight loss. I had a goal to work toward. Now, I'm maintaining, and keeping up with my resistance training. I'm cruising. I can eat those cookies and get away with it, weight-wise. My impulsive side doesn't care about how my face is burning from acne, or all the other PCOS symptoms I have. I'm having a really hard time stopping myself because I can't seem to get the association going between carbs and "feeling like crap" again. I don't know how I'm going to motivate myself.

Blah.

I have to thank everyone here on this thread. Because I know I will be coming here everyday and "reporting in", I have made a very concious effort to watch my carbs and how much I am putting in my mouth. So thank you so much with helping me with that, because I really needed (and still do) it.

Today I had 2060 calories (Had to have that LC cheesecake! ) and an ECC of 28.
(Thanks for getting my big ol butt to Fitday too Kimberlina!!)

~Michelle

I fell into the low carb trap of eating atkin bars.. this morning I ate 4 of the Breakfast kinds. Oh am I bloated and not feeling good!
So no more bars or sodas for me.. too many fake things!

Well...I'm sitting here drinking my coffee and polishing off the jar of peanuts I bought yesterday. Thought I'd have the whole can finished off last night, but I guess I forgot to eat another 60 or so...I figured I'd get them out of the house. This is how the bad habits take over.

Yes, Kristine...something other than just a new date on the calendar has to motivate us slackers. It's not happening here either, and I'm really concerned about it. I was actually tempted to get a piece of carrot cake last night from Baker's Square ... I didn't do it, but it's the FIRST time I've thought about it in months. Associations. Yep...hmmmm...

How about we do a little homework and come back with something practical that we can toss around on this thread? We need a plan or idea for really moving those of us not pulling it together... that's what we're here for, right?

I'm really big on habit replacements instead of habit kicking...and much more on the positive reinforcement when trying to make a change...

I'm going to regroup. I need to decide again. And if it takes going back to the basic kindergarten level of repeat ideas, fine. Someone mentioned that we get cocky...we veterans get the hang of something and think we don't need the newbie stuff anymore... we've become counselors instead of clients, huh?

Well, let's consider this the counselor's corner...you know, "who takes care of the caretakers???" Well, they take care of each other... that's US.

We may need to do more than just hang out and report here...we may have to get something else going. Bring out the big guns maybe...

Weighed 167 today. Will be having Jan over for dinner and LC cheesecake, so that is unlikely to change for tomorrow. But I did get a good workout last night...maybe will do a good walk today for starters.

Hi all. I think I found my motivation. (Isn't it wierd how, sometimes, you realize that you need something, and then it just *appears*?)

M'kay - about two years ago, my b/f and I were doing the long-distance thing for a while before I skipped town to come here and live with him. During that time, I was on my webcam a lot (NO, nothing kinky, you sickos! The cam image was public, and other than the occasional cuss word, totally 'G' rated. ) Last night, he mentioned that he saved many, many pictures from the cam. I had him send them to me.

Webcam software can be set to imprint the date, time, or any captions that you want to add. Many of the pics say something to the effect of "off on a road trip - bye!" or "I've been awake for 50 straight hours." It's like picking up an old journal, without even remembering that I had written it. It was a strange time in my life. I put the pictures in order, and I've gone through them about ten times already. It's been disturbing.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, there are pictures of me at around 120-125 lbs. Man, I couldn't stop staring at them. I couldn't believe it was me. <b>This is what I can do when I get my act together!!</b>

Kristine!! You're back !! Nice avatar...are you exercising there or something? Lookin' good!

What did you do with Morticia???

I'm glad you found some excitement...I'm being careful not to say "motivation" because I think you may have, in old photos, found "inspiration" but remember that is an ideal, not a driving force...(Listen to me, all clinical and everything )

But you know what I mean? I was thinking a lot today about this...about the EXTERNAL motivation...okay, the weight loss, the goal, the "competition" even. But what about INTRINSIC motivation??? That we do it for some sacred, personal determination because we simply do the best for ourselves consistently. Where is that?? THAT's the driving force!

Sure won't find that here. It's a pretty good effort, but it's hardly basic training. Until recently I hadn't gained any, and was stagnant enough to call that "acceptable"...but the fact is, I could have put my nose to the ground and maybe LOST some more. As little as I have to go to 160, I probably could have been at my first goal.

Would like to hear from others on this...what really makes you GET on track and STAY there?? Where does your internal and external motivation come from?

You know, I may start a thread on this, because I'm really interested in the responses...

Hi All...

Donna...I think you hit on a great thing with the reasons for motivation. I have to say, this is the 1st time I am doing this for ME. I have other sources of inspiration, but I had decided last summer, that I had had it. I was tired of looking the way I did, tired of getting tired or out of breath, and that was it.
Dont get me wrong, I want to look better...I want to lose weight...but I also want to be healthy and find something that is going to work for the long haul.
Believe me, I have outside motivators...BF offers "rewards", the way others see me, etc. But for once, if for some reason we broke up, or comments stopped, I would continue doing this for ME.
I dont know if any of this babbling makes sense, but that comment made me think...and this is the result! LOL Scary huh?

Today was good, I actually had to eat when not hungry to get to my minimum calories for the day. It is TOM, and I slept most of the day, so that helps too, you cant eat when sleeping! LOL

I had 1795 calories and an ECC of 27. Going to exercise now (better late then never right?) See you tomorrow!

~Michelle

That's an interesting one Mariana.

I suppose my external motivation has been getting slimmer and looking better and nice comments from people. The internal motivation is sort of 'keeping myself well' as I was hypoglycaemic and borderline diabetic.

The trouble I have with these now is:

The internal one about keeping well hasn't really gone - I don't eat high carb foods ever, cos they do make me unwell.

The external one has diminished, cos with 10 pounds to go, I don't really look too bad and certainly a lot slimmer than I used to, so that I'm still getting the compliments from people who haven't seen me for a while.

I want to lose the 10 pounds for myself, cos I know I could lose my 'bra bulges' which I hate with a passion, and therefore wear the fitting tshirts, which the rest of my new figure would warrant.

What I don't seem to have is a postive will to do something for myself. The initial 'energy' to do this came from self-disgust as much as anything - not the most constructive reason, though it got things done.

Now I need to replace that self-disgust, which has lessened, with feeling postive about myself (generally, not just physically).
I've got some serious soul searching to do, but I don't necessarily know how to start. How do you start to like and accept yourself? Maybe you just decide to do it!

Anyone been through this and got it sorted?
Jay

Hi Girls! Boy, it sure sounds like we're all in the same boat....looking high and low for motivation....where did it go?? How do I find it again?

Like Jay, I'm not eating enough carbs to make me sick...just enough to make me NOT lose anything. I still have TOM on the way, and today I weighed in at 158. Now, THAT number is enough to get my butt in gear and I'll probably be pretty good until it gets back down. But I do know that I'm tired of planning and cooking and the limited choices if I don't plan and cook. I am not a natural=born chef so cooking is a struggle for me...and I'm getting tired of the constant struggle to find new dishes and ideas, etc. But I'll carry on. I have got to get down to 145. I won't be happy until I do. So close and yet so far away.

I did want to share with you a motivational "tool" that I read about in Moremad13's journal that worked for her. She got a pair of size 6 or 8 jeans (whatever her goal was) and tacked them to the wall in her closet. She saw them there every day, admired their tiny-ness and swore that one day she'd get in those jeans. Eventually she did. Can you imagine that feeling of zipping up those jeans you've admired and stared at for so long? Well, Kristine and Jay....I don't know if it'd work for you, 'cause you're already so slim....but I may just do that. Order a size 10 (or even 8??) pair of Levi's from ebay (or a swimsuit?) and stick those suckers to my wall. A daily reminder that I"m not there yet....this is no time to get lazy.

I sure am glad we have each other.

Hi all. This will be a disorganized post because I have lots of disorganized thoughts today.

Hi Donna. "Nice avatar...are you exercising there or something? " Thanks - that's one of the old webcam shots from when I was on the ball and in really good shape. You're right about the motivation/inspiration stuph. (I guess that's why you're in that line of work, right? ) I've always tried (often unsuccessfully) to avoid comparing myself to other people - just myself. I think that's why the photos really got to me.

Jaykay - I was motivated by self-disgust for quite a while. I was angry and hated the fact that I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. It works, but it's not too healthy.

Teri, that trick would definitely work for me because I still have a pair of jeans that I can't quite get up over my hips yet.

For me, it's partially a case of slacking off. <b>My name is Kristine, and I am a slacker.</b> I've always been a slacker. I cruised through school with B's, when I could have gotten A's if I would have applied myself. I was just lazy. Now, part of me wants the A's, but I'll have to kick myself in the butt to get them.

M'kay, a little self-analysis:

Things that are holding me back:
- the fact that my b/f is gaining weight, so it's as if I don't "have" to be particularly thin. (Y'know what I mean about that pressure to be smaller than your man?)
- the fact that I'm reasonably satisfied with my weight, in the same context that I was always reasonably satisfied with the Bs I got in school. A's would be really nice.
- I can't seem to convince my impulsive instant-gratification side that I REALLY need to avoid the carby stuff I've been indulging in, because the issue of my hormonal problems just isn't sinking in.
- it's winter, and it's hard to care about your size and shape when you're bundled up in multiple layers.

Things I can do: (and I'll start today!)
- go read about PCOS and women who are post-depo-provera, maybe hang out at one of the forums. This should help me accept that I REALLY have to deal with this.
- keep doing what I've been doing with resistance training. I'm really enjoying it.
- hang up that pair of jeans! Maybe I'll even install my webcam again, and get a picture of it.

My motivation for this week: I'm going to Toronto next weekend for rave thingy, and I want to wear something slinky and cute. The club is boiling hot, so my usual sweater with long skirt and longjohns underneat is out.

Okay ladies, feel free to add your own comments or self-analysis. Have a great Sunday!