Hey,

This isn't easy for me to do. I don't like posting things very much, but I'm trying to change that. I am hoping the support will help me along my journey. Anyways with that aside......I'm 18 years old, I'm 5'7 and 225 lbs. Yup, I never did think I could type that lol. Two years ago I was 140 lbs and I'm still trying to figure out how I got where I am. It took me less than a year to gain the weight. For the last year I've been dieting trying to get rid of it. Right now you're probably thinking....what did she eat to gain that much weight in such a short period of time. The truth be told...I've been on a nutritionists diet for the last 4 years. Nobody could figure out why I was gaining weight......I never changed my diet....and I kept my exercise routine always increasing intensity. Around 230 lbs....and a million blood tests..even an MRI....they decided to take me off of Depo-provera (birth control shot) and I stopped gaining weight. I had been gaining 3 lbs a day on some days. So I'm glad I stopped gaining weight, but now comes the hard part of losing it. Now I'm not using this all as an excuse it's just my own frustrations of how I got where I'm at. So for the last year I've been on an even stricter diet.....but I quit seeing my nutritionist...she wasn't helping...and I'm going to try Atkins.

Anyways, at the weight where I am my life has come to a halt. I've quit everything.....no work....no college....nothing. It sounds terrible and it really is. I can't figure out quite why I've quit life itself. I can't look in the mirror...and I don't like going out at all. I am so ashamed to look this way. What do I do all day? Read nutrition books....and workout......and keep a detailed journal of food....and exercise. You're probably thinking I'm insane, but I've gotten so bad I'm afraid if I don't lose this weight I will never have a life. There really aren't any other reasons I need to unearth....if you're thinking I need to get to the bottom of this. Trust me, I've spent thousands of hours wondering why I might have this stop sign. I've concluded this weight has killed my self-esteem, self-image, body-image, and any reason to have fun. I really don't look to have fun.....especially socializing. I want no part in it right now.

So here I am.....I'm determined more than ever. I don't know if this is unrealistic but I would like to be 150 lbs by August of 2003. I weight lift (always increasing weight) and I do plenty of cardio. I am hoping Atkins will work! Also....I am looking for a lifestyle change.....so when I speak of diet that is what I eat not really what I do. Induction starts tomorrow for me and after that when I am able to up the carbs a bit at a time I am hoping I can stick with it forever.

I am looking for a buddy.....you can e-mail me at meek03~hotmail.com


sorry if this post is kind of a downer....I hope to lift my moods soon


meek03

Hey Girl....

Worry not... I will buddy up with you... Likewise I too gained loads of weight and then had health problems.. After many hospital appointments and and a small operation the UK doctors still can not diagnose ... then I read about Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome PCOS and I felt it was so meeee.... I told the dr and he said perhaps gave me some pills that was the day I started atkins I felt so much better I threw the pills now I feel normal and so HAPPY.....

If a weak willed person like I can do it... you most certainly can

Check out my journal and I will put u on the buddy list.

have fun

Tina

Welcome Meek!

Your post really touched my heart this morning. I could have written it myself when I was younger. I started gaining weight in my early twenties but last year I gained 60 pounds! I know what you mean about the terror of it coming on so quickly.

But, I really want to congratulate you for dealing with this when you are still so young. I am 46 now, and have dealt with my weight all of my adult life. One goofy diet after another. I always lost, and then put it back on with extra. This is a way of life for me now. I will always be low-carbing.

Like you, my weight made me profoundly depressed and really unable to function. When I was 24, I owned two pairs of jeans, three old tops, and two pairs of panties. I washed clothes every day. I just couldn't bear buying big clothes. I let my weight totally %^&#*^ my life.

I was very fortunate to find Overeater's Anonymous at that time. I was active in that for about 5 years. I never lost weight - but that really isn't what it is about. OA taught me to live life to its fullest regardless of my weight. With their help, I went on to have a great career, wonderful clothes, two beautiful daughters, and lots of great life experiences. I was blessed with terrific people and lots of love in my life. I do believe that without OA in my life at that time, I would have become suicidal. My weight was the only thing that mattered to me.

You might want to speak with your physician about depression. Sometimes, when we are clinically depressed, we focus on our weight as the "problem". It seldom is the whole story. There is a saying in OA "thin is not well". Meaning, that we believe that losing weight will solve everything. It doesn't. Our problems with weight can just be a symptom of other things.

I hope you will consider starting a journal here on the forum. It gives folks a chance to stop in and visit you and gives you a place to vent and really speak the truth. Feel free to stop by mine. You sound ready to make some great changes and I am here to support you along with hundreds of other people. Welcome aboard! Cindi

Hi Meek

I also was touched to read your introductory post. You must have been really bewildered by the pace at which you put on all those pounds. It is interesting just how that drug effected your insulin levels and hence with so much of it swilling around in your blood stream the extra carbs that you ate that were not needed for energy went straight into your fat cells. The one good thing is that the situation is reversable and with you being so young it should be relatively easy as you should not have developed significant insulin resistence.

I agree with Cindy, start a journal to keep track of your day to day progress. Put it in the M to Q section. I will be around there as it is the journal section I haunt most. I find my journal a great motivator. Why not visit a few journals and see what others get up to.

In living the low carb way of life you will soon feel incontrol of your eating patterns and also you should feel emotionally better and able to deal with life as your seratonin levels improve. I wish you every success with this way of life. Your goal is achievable and there are lots of other benefits to be had along the way.

You are taking the step int he right direction. It may seem a bit dark and gloomy, but you are heading in the right direction. Keep coming back for support, check in on your buddies. You are not alone! Your story is like so many of us out there.

I was over weight in my teens. I played sports, and I dieted, but I was still over weight. It has taken me awhile to gain control of my weight and body. I know LC works, and I only wished I knew about this when I was a teenager. My life would have been alot different.

Hang in there girl, we are all in this together.

Hi...

How was your day? Hope you had a nice day.... shall pop back ater to read your updated journal.


Have a nice LCing day.


Tina

Let me tell you, this was a much welcomed site to see all your replies! I couldn't have asked for more! I really appreciate you taking your time to write back to me

firsttimer~ My day was alright, had a headahce but I'm still here
Thanks for being my buddy, I need all the help I can get!

orchidday~I totally know the feeling of having so few clothes, it's a fact in my closet. I feel if I bought too many new ones I'd be telling myself this is "ok" this way and it's not.....so hopefully this will work out and I can buy some clothes lol. I have been on antidepressants before but they made my moods worse ( I tried many diff ones). I understand the thing about being thin isn't being well. I wish I could apply it though, I am going to try extra hard and hopefully being in control of my food will put me in the necessary spirits!

LittleAnn~I felt insane gaining that much weight that fast. I thought I was being punished for something.

KellyG5~Thanks, I know I'm taking a step in the right direction...before I wasn't taking a step at all. I really needed to hear that

Thank you all again soooo much! I am going to go start a journal. Right now I keep one on paper...just food diary/exercise diary. I plan on putting more on here tho. Anyways, Good luck all of you! I'm glad to have met you I can't wait to talk again.

meek03

hi meek!
i just wanted to say hello. i feel for you. i know we are in different situations, but we are all going through the same thing. when i was reading your intro, even though i don't know you, i was proud of you. cheesy, huh? well, everyone, hopefully, reaches that point where enough is enough. i was almost to 200lb and i am 5'5", and 22. but after tons of diets, all through my life, i reached that point where i was truely ready. i have friends that aren't there yet, and some that are there and are even low carbing. and i am happy for them. but everyone reaches that point on their own. no one can tell them to do it, i know. it has to be done by yourself.
well, starting a journal for others to read, is a little weird. it's a little hard in the beginning, but then once you have 'regulars' it's great. i would love to be involved with your journal. i am always looking for buddies too! please feel free to stop in and read mine. it may not be any fun, but hey, that's they way it goes.
just keep thinking about the future and how great you will feel. especially when you start to see results! remember, we are all here for each other!!

mEEK WELL DONE.... LOTS OF POSITIVE VIBES COMING FROM YOUR JURNAL... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND DO NOT GIVE IN

TINA

Hi there~ *s*
Just wanted to say hello and welcome you. I am sure it was scary to make the first move to post here and kind of "expose" your heart. I am glad you did. And you know you may feel like your thoughts are crazy but you know what??? No one else here will think that because in one way or another we have all been there and still are much of the time.
I have a tendency to "hide" too, or I used to.......but this forum has helped me so much in being able to just admit what the truth is, knowing that I am going from there and moving in the direction I want to go toward being healthy both in body and in heart......so it's okay to say what is really so and know that no one here will judge you in any way.
I posted my pics both before and current ones in my journal several weeks ago and man I did not want to do it in a way because I was always so ashamed of the way I looked.............I kind of felt that if no one saw me it was not really so.........but.......whether anyone saw the pics or not I was still that weight, wasn't I?? *s*
So.......as usual I am getting off on a tangent,,,.........I am really glad you are here and you are doing this for yourself. You have a long and wonderful life ahead of you and today is the day that counts........not what happens tomorrow and not what you did or didn't do yesterday.
Just take today and do the very best you can to show love for yourself......it makes a big difference~