This may be the wrong place for this discussion. I'm not sure where to put it. I've been looking for other threads on this and haven't found them, so here goes...

I have a lot of anger toward the doctors who mistreated me and, in my opinion, either aggravated various conditions or even caused problems. My obesity is partially due to their insistence on low-fat dieting. I REALIZE that I'm responsible, too, but I have a LOT of anger about this and more.

My heart problems were visible when I was 20 and were ignored because I was "too young" to have such problems. When I finally had a heart attack, it was misdiagnosed as a pinched nerve. There's just so much that I can point to and say, "This doctor did this; that doctor did that." I have a good one now, but the first in 40+ years!

So, how do other people deal with their anger? Or, am I the only person who's still harboring a grudge?

Well I understand what you’re talking about not to the extreme of what you went through, but I think doctors are very discriminative when it comes to being heavy. It just has to go through your mind that if you were thin would they have missed diagnosed you with your heart problems .Its hard to say. When I was about seventeen I had a thyroid problem and was sent to a specialist who made me feel so screwed up such as I had at the time small hair growth on my chin I was so embarrassed by this and asked the doc what I should do he just looked at me and told me to shave ,well I did and I've being paying for it since .I know that is not as major as your problem but as a women you can imagine how uncomfortable this is, if he would of just told me to get it waxed ,pluck it, or leave it alone I would not have to deal with this for the rest of my life! Anyway as for the anger you just have to let go of it and live for today, and how awesome you’re doing on this wol .take care (I hope this made some sense)

What about educating yourself to the max on these issues and lending a helping hand to others who may be in the same situation?

Two of my family members have died as a result - IMHO - of stupid medical practices. After my mother died, I decided that I never, ever wanted to be in the situation that she was in. That's when I discovered low-carbing which in turn has led me to learn about many other health, emotional and spiritual issues, and preventative and alternative medicine.

Give back. It's the best cure for resentment.

Karen

Hi Freydis-
Since I'm a nurse, I may have a slightly different slant on this, but believe me, I understand your anger and frustration. The public tends to idealize doctors, to think of them as somehow saintly, when in fact they are all too human. Most do the best they can, and that can be very good indeed. Others are so pressurred by the size of their practices and the stress put upon them, that unfortunately, substandard care may be given. Some keep up with the latest medical breakthroughs, or at least recognize the limitations of their own knowledge and training, but some do not.

Some of the same consumer rules that we go by in shopping for a car also apply to selecting a doctor. Some out there are excellent; some are not. It is up to us, as consumers, to weed out the "lemons". And the only way to do that, is, like Karen says, through education. That is not only our right; it is also our responsibility.If you find out everything you can about your specific condition, then you can ask intelligent questions, and be an "informed consumer" when you visit your doctor. There is more safety in that position, than in blind trust.

I worked for a wonderful, sensitive and intelligent physician for eight years. Whenever I would voice some personal minor medical complaint, and ask him what to do, he would laugh and say, "Stay away from doctors, Kat- they'll kill you!"

While I am in no way intending to deny the pain and anger that you feel, I think you need to learn from it, but then put it behind you. For me, all the angers and resentments that I hang onto only hold me back and divert me from my main goal. I have this Cognitive Therapy/Dr Phil/Dr Laura slant on things, which is not always popular in this forum. I believe it is good, and necessary, to get the feelings out, examine them and their origin, discuss them, vent about them....but then..........let them go. Feelings are only feelings, and I refuse to let them rule my life, when I have a perfectly good mind to do that!
Hugs,
Kat

It's popular with me Kat!

I think it's unpopularity is not exclusive to this forum though. So many people are afraid of picking up the melon and giving it a shake. Or, even refusing to acknowledge that the melon is there!

Karen

Having worked in a hospital or two (though not a nurse) I KNOW how dangerous some doctors can be. Some are busy, interested in making money, and aren't paying enough attention, some are the kind who do 'unnecessary" surguries because they are "easy" and they make good money from doing them.

(I'm thinking of hysterectomies here, often if you have tumors the tumors can be removed, rather than the whole uterus, but often a doctor WON'T suggest that because just pulling the whole uterus is "easier" for him).

Some people run to a doctor with every little problem, you have to realize that your doctor is NOT responsible for your health. YOU are.

Some people abuse their bodies with drugs or alcohol or improper food and then expect the doctor to "fix" them. Sorry. It doesn't work that way.

Some people demand a medical solution when there are other solutions. Some learn of a "condition" they have and then do NO research on their own, never seek a second opinion and then blame the doctor if they aren't happy with the results.

When my doctor told me that my daughter was breech and that I might have to have her Cesarian, I asked if we could turn her before the birth. He sent me for an ultra sound and then told me that due to where the placenta was implanted he didn't want to do any "manipulations" for fear of causing a problem.

I could see his point, but I did NOT want to deliver by Cesarian (I scar badly and I didn't want that scaring). So I went to the library and began reading up on ways to avoid Cesarian due to breech birth. The book gave me ideas, which I tried, such as knee chest excercises to encourage the baby to turn.

As it turned out I figured out that my daughter was still pretty mobile in there and was still moving around quite nicely. So I did a very simple thing to myself. I put my fist into my stomach about where I thought she was, to encourage her to "swim" away from my hand. When she FELT like she was head down, I stopped doing it.

She was born normally. No manipulations, no need to worry about dislodging the placenta.

Any other time I have had a medical condition I have done some research to learn more about it. Often there are things your doctor just doesn't know about, he hasn't had the time to keep up on your particular condition. You can be a BIG help to him by finding information on your own. Too many people consider their doctor to be "godlike" or something and they won't even QUESTION anything a doctor or pharmacist says, even if there is research and evidence to the contrary.

I had a situation on one of the boards where a girl who had just started induction began to have heart palpitations. Because this diet decreases the amount of potassium in your system, that is one of the symptoms you might have (as well as leg cramps). There is a simple solution, take a couple of potassium pills and see if it helps. It is written about in ALL the low carb books, but this girl first asked her pharmacist who scared her about taking potassium (too much can be toxic, but the amount they put in the pills is minimal), and then went to her doctor for tests. He told her she was in normal range so she wouldn't even try it.

Doctors are not God. They are NOT responsible for your health. They are NOT up on everything including the latest diet you may be trying. You are responsible for your own health, and YES doctors CAN kill you. They can also give you bad advice. People need to learn to QUESTION things they are told, question whether they have picked a good doctor, question whether the advice they have been given is the best (or ONLY) solution. Often times (like in my pregnancy example) it is NOT.

When I moved to this area, I was no longer planning to work in the medical field, so I didn't "know" all the available doctors or their reputation among their peers (which is what counts), so before I picked a doctor, I asked a nurse I met who she would recommend. I knew (since she saw these people every day) that she would give me good advice.

She did. I loved the doctor she recommended, he is no longer my primary doctor only for the reason that he was promoted into a postion where he can't have as much time for hands on health care. He is now an administrator or something for the hospital, but I still go to his medical group.

I would recommend this to anyone. You don't ask a health care professional if you have picked a good doctor. If they know bad things about your doctor they can't tell you that. But if you ask them to recommend a GOOD doctor, they know who they are.

I appreciate the responses, especially Karen's idea of giving back. I also want to mention that I don't really expect a "solution" to this problem. I'm going to be a bit radical on some issues and I hope you won't be so offended that you shun the discussion.

First, some of you are assuming that every patient has a choice. That's not true. I have lived in towns so small that there was only one doctor available - and he was a bad doctor. I have lived in places where there were other doctors available, but I had no transportation at the time and could only reach specific providers. There have been times when something horrible happened and I wasn't even awake or aware for the "care" I received. So, being completely educated and/or choosing carefully are great, in theory, but they won't save you every time.

Second, some of these providers have been doing great harm. I'm not the only victim. Some doctors are more harmful to people than rapists. Why, again, do we blame the victim? Yes, sure, we need to TRY to be informed and careful, but when one of these practicioners makes multiple mistakes, ruins many people's lives, shouldn't it be easier to get them out of the business? And, speaking specifically of examples like LC dieting, why does it take SO MUCH EFFORT to get even a few to listen? Why is it ok that - right this very minute - lives are being destroyed by doctors who are Low FAT enthusiasts? Yes, I know that life isn't fair, but shouldn't doctors be part of the solution rather than the problem?

I think part of my anger is because I lost my mother to this same illness, an illness that might have been cured and given her more time, an illness caused by the medical "care" she received. Anyway, the anger is more mellow than it used to be, but sometimes still overwhelming to me. Thanks for your help.

I'm sorry, I've never lived in that small of a town, wherein there was only one doctor and I never thought of it that way. Thanks for pointing that out. It sure shows how we can think we understand a situation and we really don't, doesn't it?