Hello, all.
I wanted to share with you all an email that was recently sent by a fellow in my Chicago Body For Life Yahoo Group. This man is amazing! He is, like, our unofficial "attitude coach" here in Chicago. He cheers us on and is always there to support our efforts. I feel very lucky to have him! I thought that, perhaps, some of you might find some inspiration in these words, as well. (Warning: It's pretty long...)
Good luck to all!
Trilbe
From: "Steve Montefinese"
Date: Thu Oct 3, 2002 4:06 pm
Subject: A Word About Motivation (warning: long)
A Word About Motivation
What motivates you? What emotions, thoughts, and desires are leading you to make the decisions you make, and to take the actions you take? Do you know for certain? Our motivation is the driving force behind everything we do. We are motivated by a desire to earn money, so we get a job. We are motivated by a fear of being fired, or by the love of our job, so we get up and go to work every day.
Since January, when I finally completed a successful 12-week challenge, I have been trying to identify what was different about this time that I did not experience during the first two attempts to transform my body. The goal was the same: to get down to a 34-inch waist from 39 plus inches.
The main motivation this time, however, was a burning desire to be considered for the Muscle Media reader model search. Yes, for some time I have wanted to be a fitness model. There! It is said, and has been made public. Any Joe off the street had a shot at this one, and I did not want to pass up the opportunity. I am a man of modest looks at best, and this was this was my chance.
I had a clear deadline, and plenty of time. Once I decided to go for it, I never had any doubts. I was going to muscle up, and reduce my body fat enough to really see the definition: somewhere below 10%. Changing my habits, and planning my workouts and meals was easy. I had no choice. And by June 1st, the original deadline, I had the body I had wanted for years. And all it took was a small window of opportunity, and the fear of never again having a chance like this. My motivation was fear!
On the one hand it got me to move forward like I have never done before. On the other hand it is a lousy source of motivation. It comes with anxiety, displeasure, and doubt. For a happy life filled with achievement, I do not recommend motivation by fear.
Lately I have been thinking about the fact that I have been able to keep the weight off, and continue with an intense, fitness oriented lifestyle. One reason is that I have committed to participating in a bodybuilding show. I have to stay extremely fit, or I will make a fool of myself. Furthermore, I face a real risk of heart disease since my father and grandfather both suffered form coronary artery disease. This new lifestyle has dramatically decreased my chances of suffering from the same disease. Again, more fear! Yet there is part of me, deep down inside, that never wants to return to the physical state I found myself in earlier this year.
So now I decided to look at this from a different angle: what
motivated me to either not follow the plan with the required
intensity, or to flat out quit. I had my goal. It was clear, and
reasonable. What was driving my halfhearted attempts, and my lack of enthusiasm? What was it that made it easy for me to decide that missing a workout, or that eating poorly was OK? It was not easy to identify this one, but when I did a light bulb went on that was blinding. It is so obvious, yet so hidden inside my every day life that it could not be seen. My motivation was an unbending desire for COMFORT, and everything that it implies.
My real desire was to be permissive with myself, and not to set
limits. My real desire was to do whatever I wanted, whenever I
wanted. My real desire was the comfort of my bed at 5:00 a.m. My real desire was to say "Yes" to all the tasty, unhealthy foods that I had grown to love. Meeting the challenge head on meant imposing limits, reigning in my uncontrolled behavior, and facing the requirements of the program without question. In other words it meant really changing who I had become.
I remember what I wrote in my essay for my first challenge back in 2000. I wrote that the biggest obstacle that I was faced with was not allowing myself all of the latitudes I had in the past: unplanned snacking, booze, sleeping late. I felt resistance to everything. I wrote that I felt like a spoiled child who had finally been told "No". It took about 4 or 5 weeks to get past the strength of that feeling. I still feel it, but it is under control.
I came across an idea recently that is now gaining ground in my
attitude and motivations. It is the idea that you must have pride in everything you do because if you don't you will find your motivation lacking. When you set a goal for yourself, you MUST do what you know has to be done in order to achieve that goal, or it is nothing more than a fantasy. In terms of our BFL challenges it means planning your diet, and not wavering from that plan. It means planning your workouts, and giving each one your absolute best effort. It means saying "No" to all those things that got you into poor shape, and "Yes" to all those things that must be done. Furthermore, and here is the point, you must give yourself tons of credit for doing so.
You must be proud of every thing you do toward achieving your goals: getting up early to exercise when you would rather have stayed in bed; eating your grilled chicken breast and brown rice for lunch, again, when the office ordered pizza; hitting a 10 on your last minute of cardio, when you really wanted to quit. You must also understand that your goal to change your body is worthy, and your decision to pursue that goal deserves credit as well. These and all the little things in between that ultimately get you to day 84 with a brand new body must be given the credit they deserve. Otherwise you will constantly resist your efforts rather than have pride in them. And you will falter too often, or drop your intensity, or, worse, you will quit.
Find your true motivation, and change it if necessary. Learn to love the process of transforming your body by understanding that your effort is crucial, and, above all, worth every minute. This will
make those 12 weeks EASY. You will not be so resistant, and you will be successful.
Take care,
Steve Montefinese
smonte2k
A Few Words About Motivation
Hey, HerbNurse!
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