Ok, last week...filled with determination and bursting with conviction...I posted on how I was going to start eating right, get with the program, etc. Well, that didn't last too long and I was back to eating the old way...the one that has put all of this extra weight on me. Now I am so ashamed of myself, because I just don't get it...why, why why am I defeating myself? I have always been concerned with my appearance until just a few years ago, when I started feeling "old" and thinking "Oh, who cares what I look like...I'm OLD". Logically I know this is ridiculous, but I am having a hard time getting that nasty voice out of my head. I have really let myself go weight-wise and I am so disappointed in myself. Has anybody else ever felt like this? I feel like if I can just mentally get out of this negative mind-set then I can be successful eating right.

Also, how do we send messages directly to each other? Homegirl, you posted a reply on that earlier thread and I tried to write you back, but I don't know how that's done.

Cyndie

Hi hotpatoody,

Let me tell you a true little story. This summer I went home to England on holiday. I visited a shop where I worked briefly about five years ago. One of the assistants said "How long have you been dying your hair?" I said I had never dyed my hair and it had never been grey so why was he asking me. He said "well, you look so much younger than when you worked here". "That's cos I lost 3 stone (40lbs) in weight" I said. And to be honest I feel more than 10 years younger as well as looking younger.

I don't know your age hotpatoody, but I do know that on this diet you will feel and look younger. Maybe we can't turn the clock back but lose weight and improve our health we can do.

So, stop thinking negatively. Thing about the new slimmer, healthier you, you can create on by this way of eating and life. Anyway, the only important person to care about what you look like is yourself.

Don't you owe it to yourself. Go on give it a go. You'll get all the support and advice you need from this board.

With very best wishes from Belarus.
Robert.

Robert, your story really hit a nerve with me (and I mean that in a good way)! What I mean is, about 5 years ago (incidentally, I'm 45 years old) when I was about 100 pounds (which is just about right for my height), people would tell me "oh my, you sure don't look your age". I LOVED hearing those words!!! Well guess what...I sure don't hear THAT anymore. I know that all of these extra pounds have made me look at least my age, if not older. Your story made me remember, which I needed to do. I guess I'm kind of at a life change now...after raising all 3 of my kids by myself almost all of their lives, the older two have now grown up & moved on (one in college in NY, one in the Marines). They both live far from Texas so I don't see them often, and we are very close so I've had some of the empty nest feelings. My "baby" (15 yrs. old) is at home but I'll blink & then she'll be gone. All my life I was very active with taking care of them & we were always on the go, and now I am having to restructure what I'm going to do with myself. I don't see this as a negative, but it's just different - I'm kind of at loose ends, like "ok, what do I do now???". It was when my son left home 4 years ago that I started overeating, kind of just let myself go. Now I can't seem to get out of this habit. That's why I am going to check on this forum every single day for inspiration & motivation. I've been reading here for quite a while without posting and feel like I know so many of you already.

Well, you can either get on the horse and ride or stand there all day. It's completely and entirely up to you. No one can do it for you.

I decided on January 1, 2002, to make a drastic change in my life. I decided I was not going to be fat and unhealthy anymore and that it was up to me to do it. I waited until January 18th to buy Dr. Atkin's book and read it. I read it in one day. I started this woe on January 19th.

I can't say that I've been perfect. I'm a Pasty Chef, for god's sake. But, I've lost 40 pounds and am still losing. I didn't gain all this weight overnight and I sure as heck ain't gonna lose it over night, either.

Stop beating yourself up. Look yourself in the mirror and make that promise to yourself that it's time to take control of your life again. Throw out, or give away, all the foods in your home that are poison for us and start fresh; with a clean slate.

Ride that pony into the sunset!

I can relate to what you are saying and feeling and believe me it does take a little time and even some false starts to get going and keep at it.

My 3 children have all just left home, as of June, and my youngest daughter 19 is in the Navy stationed in Crete, my oldest daughter 24 will be leaving for Navy bootcamp in October, and my son 21 is living with my oldest and her roommate and threatens from time to time to join the Navy...he could do worse.

Think about it...for all those years you've either looked after or planned for or been involved in their lives and then poof they are gone. It does leave a very large hole in your life and you need to fill it with something...guess what is safe and easiest? you guessed it food.

It is also scary not to have them around to keep you distracted, and give you a purpose in life. My thought is that they just get to the point where you can actually talk with them and have an adult conversation when they go off and get a life of their own.

Just try to plan ahead when it comes to food, take it one day at a time and forgive yourself when you mess up, but start again right away. Little by little.

If you feel like chatting give me an email at Freya900~aol.com.
Like you I have trouble with figuring out how to reply directly to people.

I live in Dearborn, Mi and my name is Debra

Wow, can I relate to what you said and what RC Fletcher said!!!

You know, I am 49, and have been feeling very old lately too. And nobody says I look young anymore either. I just wonder if when I get down to a normal weight, will people say to me "You don't look old enough have a 23 year old!"

About private messages. You have to have 25 posts for some reason before you can send or receive one.

Debra and Sandylee, thank you so much for posting...it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one who is feeling this way. I was always (up until recently) a real go-getter-always running around and busy. But it was because the kids were involved in so many activities. It's nice in a way to not have all of that responsibility of the past, but sometimes I sure do miss it. Ok, now it's time to gear up and discover how fun life can be! I'm going to commit to eating healthy (low carb) and getting more involved in doing all of the things I never could before because of either (a) no money or (b) no time. Who knows what adventures lie ahead!!! haha

Debra, I am going to email you. I would love to correspond with another mom who has a child in military service. My baby daughter & I went to a 9/11 memorial service at our church last night, and I cried through most of, both because of the tragic events of last year and the horrible loss of innocent lives, and also the dread I feel over what path my son (and all of our troops) will be on in the next 2 years.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on & on (a bad habit of mine). You guys are wonderful and I am so glad I found this forum.