A forum, is after all a forum...a place of free speech...we all need to listen and to express...we take what we need and continue on...

I like your great humour Rustpot...you often make my day...

All cease the day and enjoy this way of life...I'm finding some pleasures in this perspective...taste, flavors, new veges and cheeses, and all with a certain passion...I mean, olives! Cheeses! Meats! Butter! oulala!!!

I genuinely hope that made you feel better. Expressing anger can be a very helpful process in any kind of healing.

Best regards,

Hrm.... I'm one of those people with a reputation for being disgustingly cheery and notoriously hard to offend, and how I took the initial post in this thread might be a good example of why:

When I saw the words "Grow up", my assumption was that the poster was reflecting on her own journey and commenting almost rhetorically *to herself!* Anyone who could identify and find wisdom there was free to do so, but in essence, I thought (still think) she was mostly ruminating on her own experiences.

*smile* No offense to be found there for me.

Then again, one of my mottoes about the kids I work with is, "You can lead 'em to water, but you can't drown 'em." (tho some days you might like to!)

Another motto: The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.

Cheers,

Friday

So.... I'm over my "offended" feelings. This LC WOL just gives me too much energy and I don't know what to do with myself!

Everyone here has been so gentle and accomodating, I guess it was just a shock to my little newbie LC system to get a dose of reality, grown-up talk .

But, the fact that I know that I am in this for the long haul (life) makes me realize I can't go on expecting everybody here to tell me to calm down, it will be alright, you're doing great, yada yada.

So after sleeping on it, and after eating a handful of macadamia nuts (still working on the emotional eating issue!) I realize that there is a lot of good information in this thread. Thanks.

Soella

We are an interesting little bunch here, and honestly we really do try hard not to be offensive or harsh in anyway. Sometimes it just comes across wrong.

Problem with the written text instead of body language

Welcome to the crazy house

Fridayeyes: I agree, I'm pretty sure LC Sponge was simply reflecting to herself when she said "grow up"...I wasn't offended at all even though I'm not quite there yet (on that side). I'm choosing to believe that some offended people just skimmed through what she wrote and took it the wrong way...I hope no one could be that offended over this thread...

CanukChic, you should really ask yourself why did a general post addressed to no specific person bother you so much and cause to see it as a personal insult?

If you have been in this forum earlier, you'd know LC Sponge and her successful strategy, you could learn a lot from her.

In any case, please do not flame other members, we can always disagree but remain polite. Besides, we have a policy against this that all our members agreed to before joining.

Wa'il

Hi Marie,

I have no objections to you discussing your feeling on this issue, please do so, I think this topic is very important. However, you failed to mention which part offended you? LC's post mentioned specific behaviours, that most of us recognize as self-sabotage and reasons to fail.

So my advice to you is to calm down a bit, read it carefully, and list what do you not agree with.

But if the only response you have is calling someone skinny, instead of discussing the point in question, then you clearly show that you have no reasonable argument.

Wa'il

Well, if all you read from the first post is the "grow up" part, I can see how you will misunderstand it. I personally can list many common mistakes that require people to grow up in order to overcome their self-imposed obstacles.

So if you really insist that the post was adressing you, then you admit to psychoanalyzing every single step to death. "If you pick apart every minute, every second, you may very well reach goal, but still be miserable"

Is this is exactly what you are doing right now? If so, how can this be healthy for your mind and body? As this is a support forum, I really would advice you and in one in such misery to stop doing this to yourselves. It's no way to live. Sorry if this offends you, but that's what should be said in those extreme cases.

Wa'il

bye

Well, people can often choose to be offended, no matter what we say.

I hope you're reading this, but if not, I'll say it anyway for the benefit of others reading this. My above post simply had a cut and paste of the behaviour CC claims is acceptable to her from the first post.

So I guess, from your objection, you don't find it acceptable after all?

Wa'il

The beginning of this thread was phrased in a self-reflection type format - not an advice-type format. LC Sponge was referring to HER experience and the transformations SHE went through and how what SHE had to do to get from where she started to where she is now was to grow up. The advice did not start until after the self-reflection stage that was there to establish the context of the subsequent advice.



Can you describe what about this advice you find wrong or offensive?

Please note that I responded to this thread pointing out that many people starting down the LC way of life are NOT ready to accept this advice, not matter how good it might be.

What I am seeing now is a prime example of that. You are not ready to grow past the point where you currently are. That is NOT a slam or a put down. It is merely an observation. I was there myself. Want proof:

My overreaction to Karen

After I made my final post in that thread I seriously considered deleting my journal and every post I had made and cancelling my registration and all of my thread and forum subscriptions right then and there. Why? Because my feelings were hurt and I was throwing a temper tantrum. That simple.

But, had I done that, I wouldn't have seen Karen's response nearly seven hours later that revealed how I had chosen (yes, chosen) to misinterpret her words. Much worse, I almost certainly would not have made it through the next week where I steadily gained back much of my initial losses - my entire LC attempt would have probably ended then and I would be over 400# right now. So, fortunately for me, I swallowed my injured pride (injured in my eyes, anyway) and stuck around.

So what did I learn from this experience? Grow up!

That's what I learned that I had to do. And, quite frankly, it's what I think you have to do as well.

When we start out we tend to have very fragile egos and wear our feelings on our shirtsleeves. I think it is a reflection of our being very unsure about whether we are pursuing the right path, whether we are pursuing that path right, and whether we are right in pursuing that path. It tends to leave us quite defensive.

But, although I pointed in out in my earlier response that those of us that have managed to move past our initial insecurities must consider that no amount of advice can shift the attitudes of someone that is not ready, the reverse is also true. If we are too defensive and quick to offend then we close ourselves off from the very experiences that we need in order to grow, step by step, from where we start out to where we need to end up.

I hope that you decide to stick around or, if you decide to leave, that you are able to maintain an LC lifestyle on your own or with some other support mechanism. Whatever you decide, I know you will continue to be welcome here - either now or when you are ready to come back.

Wbahn - I'm glad you shared that.

This journey is all about hard lessons. I decided ages ago that my weight gain was just a symptom of other problems. By dealing frankly and 'head on' with them, the weight 'symptom' would not return. So while what I was (and still am ) putting in my mouth may have helped me get to goal, it will be much more than that, that keeps me there.