For almost a week now I have been having major problems on CAD. I went off plan Tuesday night (majorly), then was good for a few days, then screwed up again over the weekend, was good for a day, and then screwed up again tonight. If you want more details you can check my journal, most recently this post ( http://forum.lowcarber.org/showpost...7&postcount=552 ) but be warned, it's rather long.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I know what to do, I just have to get through those three days until CAD becomes brainless again. I guess I should say I don't know how to deal with the terror that it's all downhill from here, that I'm going to keep backsliding and gaining and undo everything I've worked so hard for recently. I'm afraid I'll never be in control again. I'm afraid I'll look back on this for the rest of my life as the lowest I ever got, and it still wasn't low enough, I never made it to goal. I'm at a weird in-between, where I'm thinner than I've probably ever been (it's hard to tell) but still overweight -- I fit into size 6 jeans but depending on the cut some are too tight for comfort. I still need to lose more around the waist especially.

Anyway, I just need someone to say, "you're going to get through this, you *can* get back into the swing of things, it's not hopeless." Very few other people understand what this is like, that's why I'm posting here. I need to know I can start losing again. I want to stop beating myself up. I want to stop eating those foods outside of RM. I want to feel good and in control and "in the zone" again, where you *know* you're losing weight even without the scale, because you feel good, your clothes feel good, and exercising and eating on plan are effortless. It's just a happy feeling.

You can get through this. You can do it. You just need a crutch for the first three days. Get some l-glutamine and take it with meals for the first three days.

Sango-
You can get back in control. You can get back on plan.
When I read your posts and journal, what stands out to me is that you are not taking very good care of yourself. It sounds like you are feeling out of control in a lot of your life, not just your eating. Please please please give yourself some extra TLC: more sleep, eating RMs at home, comfortable clothes, bubble baths(whatever turns you on), lowered expectations. For now, just getting yourself back on plan and having clean CMs and balanced RMs is a goal. Reread CAD, pamper yourself with good food, reach out to friends and people who care (like us).Take one day - even one meal- at a time. You can do it and will be okay.
Eno

You know, you can do this! I don't know if it helps for you to look at how far you've come, but you've already lost 20 pounds, and your bodyfat is below 20%. You fit into a size 6 - maybe not all size 6 pants, but to fit into any size 6 stuff sounds fabulous to me!

I'm thinking you likely already look fabulous. Can you appreciate yourself where you are now? sometimes the last few pounds are the hardest to lose.

take care, be well! Vicki

Thank you everyone. I will have to look for some l-glutamine as soon as I get paid. I will also try to take better care of myself in more ways than just CAD. As soon as this week is through (tomorrow) I should have time to rest and regroup and plan. And yes, I really need to remember how far I have come. I guess part of the problem with that is that I was in denial about how much extra weight I was carring around when I started. So now, 20 lbs lighter it's easy to forget because in my head it "wasn't that bad". Today because I really need to do laundry I'm wearing a pair of pants I was going to give to goodwill because they're too big now, and it has been a good tangible reminder of the progress I have made. I think I may hold on to some of these larger pants for a while.

The good news is that I just made it through day 2 and am feeling less hungry already so I think I am finally home-free! Thanks so much again for the support, I am doing a lot better today. I really appreciate it.

Sango-
That's great. Just one day at a time.
I gave all my clothes away, but kept one pair of jeans. They were my favorites, and I just wanted to keep them. Now they are a reminder of how far I've come. Keep those pants, not because you will ever wear them, but to have in the back of your closet if you need to see how you've changed.
We are here for you, too!
Eno

Definitely keep those pants! I have 1 pair that I've kept. I still have a very long way to go, but I can't believe I ever wore them and they were actually tight! A size 32 to be exact! Now, I am down to a 24, it feels great I put those pants on one day just for fun and they slid off!

You're doing great - you'll get there. Someone once gave me a quote that I have taped to the front of my computer.

Don't exchange what you want most, for what you want at the moment. I just love that quote

Sango-
I have the same troubles as you. I fell off Atkins Dec 2003 and just got back into low carbing 22.5 lbs heavier than where I was in December. I am now following CALP (and reading CAD) and find that I almost get through one week, then end of eating out of balance and wrecking my week. So, I plan to regroup over the weekend and really plan to stick to it everyday! Do you want a buddy for a little while? We could check in with eachother everyday next week and kinda "report" on how we're doing for the day. Maybe this will help us both be more accountable???? Just an idea, let me know if you want to though.
It's a battle, it's a struggle, but most of all it's a choice. It's our CHOICE. I was listening to Dr Laura yesterday (dont laugh at me And she said something about choices that really stuck with me. She was telling a caller how to get over he problem and she summed it up pretty good. She told the caller it was a choice, she wasnt just going to "get over it" or "get past it" it was going to be a choice she would have to make evey day. Every moment of every hour of everyday. There is nothing we can do to just get past being overweight. There is no quick fix (we all know this) and picking a diet to follow isnt going to fix the problem either. We will need to make a choice every instant of the day. It's these choices that will determine the outcome of our day. If we continually make the *right* choices then we will reach our goal.

My *new* goal or whatever you want to call it is that I am trying to recognize the choice I have to make BEFORE my mind and body make an automated choice for me. If I can learn to recognize when these choices present themselves and be more aware, hopefully I can find the inner strength to make the choice that's going to help me rather than hurt me.

Molly

I was having a terrible time too but started back on some of the lc atkins suppliments and vitamins and I have had no cravings!!! It REALLY makes a difference! It took me weeks to realize that I had quit some of them, and that was making it so hard to get through the first days!!!!! I am soooooooo happy to be back in control! Who would of thought it could make such a difference!

what supplements are you taking that have helped to reduce cravings Karen??

The first morning I took an Atkins essential oil pill, citramax, and a multivitamin...I think I also took a pill called mannaclease...it has extracts and herbs etc. that help with bowel health such as acidofilous (that is the wrong spelling) and green tea...(my mother gave it to me)
The second day I took everything the same except took a mineral instead of the multi. I will take the first set again today. It has made such a difference so quicly..maybe it has to do with my body flucuations too but I just feel great. I think some times it takes longer but it is sure worth a try. Atkins does list several things to help with cravings in his book and I think citramax may be one of them...cQ10 is I believe.

Let me know how you do.

P.s. I also like to take fiber suppliments such as phsylium husks esp if I don't feel like eating breakfast (or I am still hungry after eating it) It helps give me some bulk and fills me up alittle more. But you have to drink water with it or you will be constipated!!

pre3teach (love that name, do you teach 3rd graders?)

If it's not too much of a PITA, can you list the brand name and product names for me? I like the idea of the mannacleanse especially, who makes it? Where do you get it?

And I know that CoQ10 helps your muscles work better, too.

thanks!