I was just reading in another thread how someone put a doughnut on her desk and she returned it back to its box. Oh don't you love Sabboteurs. In my life, Its my family, and in a quiet way. I have always been the fat sister, in my house. If I ever lose my weight, what would they call me? the not so fat sister?
(I'm laughing incase you are curious).
At work, caring friends worry that I'm hurting myself and offer me crackers and sweets all the time. I say no thanks you and that I love them (my friends) anyways
I know that when I actually look like I've lost weight (when it doesn't look like that I maybe lost weight but that I oh-my-goodness-look-at-her! lost weight). My I'm laughing again...
Isn't it funny how its the close ones who love you who can undermind you. Forgive them by knowing they love you and show by example how you are healing yourself. Maybe we can help others who are carbaholics and who want to be free of it.

In another thread I posted how so many people say *l love you* and *I care*, using food.

When they realize that there is a contradiction -- that the food they are offering is actually a poison - is terribly distressful to them. My dh was very much a food-tells-you-how-I-feel kind of guy and still is. I had to "retrain" him to offer me different foods.

Then there are the nasties - people who want to KEEP us fat.... much like the nursery rhyme "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater....had a wife and couldn't keep her. Put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well".

Frightening isn't it? Forcing his wife to accept his way of life and using it as a prison. With kiddie rhymes like that one, it's no wonder so many people need therapy as adults!!!

Lessara,
Could it be that your friends and family are not trying to sabotage you, but just relating to you and loving you the way they always have--with food? I know I have always been the one to provide the goodies in the house...homemade cookies, pies, cakes and so on. I would show my affection by making something for someone. I never felt like I was trying to sabotage anyone. But our society a lot of times speaks love with food.
Now that I'm watching what goes into my mouth--the "fun food" has had a severe death in our family...they know that what I'm doing is very serious. And that they can suffer some while I deal with my thing...Because, ultimately they know that my health is more important than a homemade cookie. I figure as I go, I get stronger. I am able to make a batch of cookies for the kids and not have any. But I don't allow myself to do it much.
So, I know my husband would like to share a Pepsi with me like we used to do. But he understands that it's important that I stay on track. I know there are people out there that are slipping doughnuts on friends desks. But maybe they don't realize how committed you are to your new way of life. I would rather believe it's not intentional. But I know that sometimes it is. Victoria
btw I just did a spell check because I wasn't sure if I had spelled sabotage correctly--the only thing that showed up red was your name...That's just too funny. Lovely name, as I had said before.

My sister is the worst. No matter what I tell her, I can't convince her that this WOL is safe. When I talked to her on the phone last week and told her about this SF French Silk Pie I made, she said, 'Oh, you're STILL doing THAT?'

*SIGH*

I seem to have the most problems with my d/h...he says he supports me...but then does things that just don't add up. I don't know if he intentionally goes out of his way to tempt me, but that's how it feels.

Like...Just last week, we went out for dinner. The waiter offered to bring some bread to the table, I asked him not to...Ray said, yes do...He wanted some...I think that is only the second time in 11 years that we have been together that he wanted the bread with dinner. I was probably on another diet the last time too.

The other night, he made salad for dinner...he put apples in it, and didn't tell me, I of course bit into an apple piece, and spit it out...he stated he didn't know I couldn't have it...I called BS on that one...

Now that I have been at this for almost 2 months, he has started complaining...you can't eat anything...blah blah blah...I simply say...I can eat a lot...just no carbs...he is not stupid...he knows darn well what I can and can not eat...

I think he feel insecure about me losing weight. I don't really understand it either. We have a really good relationship...we are very happily married. But I know he likes me staying home, and fears that I will never be home when I become the new me. ( He is right there...but I will always invite him along.)

Hey lilwannabe - my dh was exactly the same in the beginning.

I am sure looking back now, that it was simply that he saw a change in me and more to come. That was unsettling and made him a bit insecure. He eventually got over it and accepted what was going on... but it was a weird time.

Let's face it this WOE energizes us, and makes us happy (NOT at ALL the way I was on LOW FAT!!!!! - I was miserable). Such a change in *personality* can really shake up a significant other!

Sounds like your dh is trying to do things that will put life back the *way they were* because he senses the same kinds of changes, the way you are now (which is different than when you were on different diets), and the way you will be.

There are some people who offer food out of affection and want you to be happy so they will provide the food you have always loved. There are also people who think you are making a mistake and think they know better. There are also people who really are sabotaging your diet. They need to be in control. It takes all kinds to make the world go around.
As for the hubby who wanted bread for dinner and put apples in the food, he is afraid of you changing, of not needing him or wanting him. It is his insecurity talking.
More deadly than any of those people are ourselves. I am my worst enemy sometimes. I can hide behind my body. If I am fat, I don't have to try anything new , I can stay in a rut and use my weight as an excuse. I can avoid dealing with things and do that "if only" game..
HOWEVER, I can also be my best ally. this post is getting too long so I will simply say I have been working on being supportive to myself and really working on thinking positively. At the moment, I feel damn good about myself whether I am "fat" or not. so hurrah for me and the rest of you who are struggling or you who are triumphing- we are in this together...

So guess what...

There was a bit of a blow up at my house today, concerning this subject. It is the first time in years I actually threw something. I was complaining about my scale not going down...then he started...you are eating too much...no wonder you aren't losing any weight...look at the stuff you are eating...Don't expect me to sympathize with you...blah blah blah...

I told him ( after throwing my water at him) that if he wanted to have an opinion about what I was doing, then he ought to read the book so he can make an informed judgement. Until then, but out. Then I went to my room and bawled!

After a couple of hours cooling down...I apologized for throwing the water at him...he apologized for not JUST listening...Then we laughed. But...I think I got my point across.

I too, can be my own worst enemy...I can talk myself in to and out of anything. That is why it is so important to me to have his support right now. I guess I just need to get on here more often. I am on here most of the time anyway, but maybe it just isn't enough for me. I am at a very vulnerable spot right now. It would take very little for me to just throw in the towel. I think that is why I am seeking so much approval for my efforts. He on the other hand is getting sick of hearing about it. I guess it does get monotonous for him. But gees...I listen to all his complaints and woes all the time...now it is my turn!

Hey lil - have you *connected* yet with any of the other folks on this board from Victoria?

Maybe an occasional *club meeting* will help ?

Don't give up !!! I know how easy it would be to just stay in the same rut and say you can not change. But you have started the metamorphasis and each day is one day closer to the butterfly. Pretty prose aside, the longer I do this, the more I learn and the better I know myself. I believe I just might be getting the hang of this WOE pretty soon. I am waiting for the whoosh fairy but in the meantime I keep going each day or each hour and sometimes each minute. I am beginning to see that I am addicted and I am going to find my way out of this tunnel. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and focus on right now. You CAN do this !!!!

I feel like this post was created for me. Lilwannabe, I totally know how things are going for you and your hubby. My dh and I love each other immensely, but ever since I started having results with this woe, he has become insecure. He knows that Lasagna is my weakness so he has cooked Lasagna 2x since I started my new way of life (he normally may cook it once a yr). He has asked me to please go to dunkin donuts and get him some donuts, or please bring something sweet home(he is not a sweet eater). Saturday we went to the outlet mall which happens to be near a town where my favorite Puerto Rican restaurant is. Well, on the way home I noticed that he was going the wrong way towards this town. I said "where are you going?" He said "oh I just thought it would be nice to go for a ride." Well of course we end up at the restaurant. Alex (dh): Gi, can you go in and get me an alcapurria (my favorite plantain fritter stuffed with ground beef) and a beef patti (pastry filled with ground beef)? Gina(me)f course I would (as I throw daggers at him with my eyes). The truth is it wasn't hard at all to go in there. That morning I ate a lot of things with a high fat content (so that I wouldn't be tempted while we were out), so in all reality the jokes on him. When he does things like this it just makes me more determined to succeed. He is drop dead gorgeous tall, dark and Mediterranean handsome (strong roman nose etc.). I'm a cutie too and I still get attention from the fellas so I don't know why he is tripping. I think it is a power issue, because I do feel stronger [both mentally and physically],and since I feel better about myself, I do defend myself more. Sometimes we just laugh about it, because it is sooo ridiculous.
Thanks for letting me vent guys.

Lessera:

If you read "Taco Bell" from me, you will see what happened to me. My friends thought I was the same old me eating the same old way. They assumed I would never change.

Granted because of my fear of failing, I did not tell them I had changed, but rather mumbled something like the "wrap was cold" that is why I did not eat it.

I AM MY WORST OWN ENEMY!!!!! I eat when, where and what I do because at times I have no control. I eat because I am bored, I eat because, I am sad, glad, mad, silly, hungry, angry, happy, have the blues, or because everyone else is.

I am the one that needs to change -- but I understand everyone's situation, too.

A Thin Me

Thin Me, you are talking about me. Eat anytime, anywhere, for whatever reason. I would eat when I was not hungry, it didn't matter sometimes. This WOL is helping. I do less compulsive eating now and I see a way out of the tunnel. I am learning what food will set off a craving and it's slow going sometimes. I try to take a handful of supplements daily and one of them does help curb the cravings-the chronium picolinate maybe. I can tell when I do not take them for two days- I just fall right into a cheat . I hate pills so it is a chore each morning and it takes two full glasses of water to down the horse pills but if it keeps me sane, it's worth it. Don't give up. I have written several threads today and they are really the same material. They are about my learning to deal with things, about living a day at a time or a minute at a time if needed. I know the way home, I just keep stumbling on my way there. I have learned some much on the forum and folks have been wonderful-informative, funny and so supportive. . Anyway, hang in there. It WILL be better.

When I told my sister I was going on Atkins WOE she started in about how unhealthy it was - blah blah blah. She made all these erroneous statements about the diet and I gave her the correct information but she didn't stop until one day she was at my house for a long afternoon. I ended up cooking dinner and that made a believer out of her. When we had salad, steak and broccoli with butter melted over she said - this is the way I eat too! Now she hasn't said anything negative about the diet and she has also stopped eating sugar and white flour and she told me just today (when she went walking with me) about how much better she feels and how much more energy she has and she never wants to eat those type carbs again. Ha ha!

I really feel for those of you who's husbands are giving them a hard time. My DH tried LC and didn't feel well on it, went back to the old conventional lo-cal 'dieting'. I don't think he's crazy about the idea, but he doesn't seem to care if I stay on it. He can tell I feel better and have more energy, so.....

I just make a balanced meal with several choices on the table and we all take what we want. Youngest teenaged son is overweight, so he's rady to start LC-ing. He sees I'm losing slowly, but I feel better, and he knows he needs to get a handle on that sugar addiction!

POINT IS, though, that after yrs. of trying this and that diet and exercise plan, I've learned just NOT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT I'M DOING, and if they have to know, tell them as little as possible. That's what I rely on this forum for--- I spill my guts to everybody on here, because everybody else just doesn't get it!!

This way, I get less of the rolled eyes, the exasperated sighs, the unsolicited advice from people who know NOTHING about this woe. Saves me a lot of heartache and upset. YOU ARE NOT GONNA CONVINCE ANYBODY who does not want to be convinced until the world sees more encouraging reports from the media on this.

Look at the stuff you see on TV-- every channel you turn to, somebody's talking about lo-fat something or what fat supposedly does to your heart, and even in MOVIES, they make jokes about eating bacon and act like eggs are poison. THE WORLD HASN"T GOT it yet! but, they WILL. We just have to be patient.

And quietly confident that we will be the ones to show what can be done with this WOL. And show what is healthy. I was thinking about it the other day...... When I was a kid, my dad filled our freezer with meat from a butcher every 6 mo. or so. and everythignelse we ate came fresh from our garden. We had cheese, eggs regularly, and NEVER had sweets, chips or pop in the house unless it was our birthday! We were healthy, slim, active kids, who slept great, did well in school, and didn't have (much) hyperness or moodswings.

These are the things we LC-ers eat, this is why we are getting better. We'll be OK. We'll show'em . We don't need to tell'em.

OK- getting down from my soapbox, now, Sorry so long- just had a fit of indignation for all the nay-sayers out there!

yb