I'm 45 and have smoked 1 to 2+ packs a day since I was 12. I've been trying to quit since age 22 (when my father died at 52 of LUNG CANCER). Tried nearly EVERYTHING so far. Behavioral modification, you know, wrapping the pack with rubber bands, diary of cravings, etc. Hypnosis twice. Patches. Gum. Patches & gum simultaneously. Can't do Wellbutrin because I had a history of absence seizures as a young teen.

Currently, I work in a non-smoking environment (hospital) and chew nicotine gum all day just so I'm not always running out to smoke. Smoke whenever I'm not at work.

I tried cold turkey a few times many years ago and it was HORRIBLE, the physical and psychological cravings were unbearable. I felt as if I were going to die and/or go insane.

But, I think Cold Turkey is the only way I will finally be free of nicotine. I spend close to $5000/year on cigarettes & gum. I'm killing myself, and I realize it, but I'm just SO AFRAID. Late December 2002, I stopped smoking and only did gum for about 4 months, but cigarettes insidiously reappeared when I was under extra stress.

Yesterday, one of my coworkers said to me, "You don't want to quit. If you wanted to quit, you'd just quit." I have to agree with him: I don't want to QUIT. It's QUITTING that I'm afraid of. I just want to miraculously wake up tomorrow morning & be a non-smoker, but I have a sneaking suspicion that's never going to happen!

This board has been a great help to me with LC'ing & has kept me motivated. It's really becoming an ingrained way of life. I'm hoping someone can offer some advice to help me with my nicotine addiction, maybe how they survived cold turkey as a really heavy smoker/chewer. I've set a tentative quit date of 1/2/04, and am really getting nervous (already!). I'm working that day, and don't want to become crazed. Should I move it to 1/3, when I'm off? But then it would be too easy to break down & run out for a pack. At least at work, I'm trapped, so to speak, and occupied. Should I go back to patches for a while, and at least not be reinforcing my oral fixation?

Ironically, I'm an RN, and regularly counsel patients on the dangers of smoking, and quitting methods! Ha! If only I could practice what I preach! I feel like such a hypocrit.

Maryann in NJ