The Atkins Diet is Killing Me!

http://www.babyfathead.com/pieces/atkins_diet.htm

It'll be the bloody death of me. I've been on it for 4 months and I've lost two and a half stone. Which is great, but I'm going to be dead before I get a chance to enjoy it.

Oh, it's not going to be kidney failure from trying to process too many proteins.

It's not going to be a heart attack because I'm lining my arteries with cholesterol.

It's not going to be one of my friends hacking me to pieces, driven to insanity by my vile breath.

No, I'm going to have a bloody aneurysm if I read another half arsed article about why it's bad for you written by another cheap hack who hasn't actually read the book jumping on the coat-tails of another scaremongering article by another tabloid journo who cant resist putting the boot in to anything good that happens in this God forsaken country!

Atkins' diet is so dangerous, the man himself died of a heart attack. - No he didn't, he slipped on some ice fixing an aerial on his roof and fell to his death, aged 73 (Are you sure you're not confusing him with Rod Hull? - S).

OK, well maybe that's true, but he did have a heart attack and was lucky to survive. - Yes, he did. He was bloody 69 years old and in the middle of a grueling promotion tour for his new book, are you bloody surprised he had a heart attack!??

What about that girl in the States that died from doing the Atkins diet? - You mean that girl that had been suffering from various serious eating disorders all of her teenage life, was already under medical/psychological supervision and happened to have just started the Atkins diet when her body finally gave up after years of systematic abuse?

Well, nobody knows how prolonged exposure to a new diet will affect you in the long run. - Oh, this NEW diet that was first published in the 60's? The diet that's been followed by a few thousand people for the last FORTY years? That NEW diet?

Get a bloody grip people! "It must be true, I read it in the Sun"???? "There must be something wrong with it, it was in that newspaper known for its journalistic integrity, its total lack of agenda and its careful avoidance of prurient alarmism, The Daily Mail"!!! It'll all be an Al Qaeda plot next!

Get that casket ready.





Fatbstard

Give me a freakin break! Another idiot who has no clue what Atkins is all about! SHEESH!

Look at the guy anyway...if he isn't a coronary waiting to happen, I don't know who is. I wish all these anti low carbers would get a life!

Actually, I think he's being sarcastic, and he's pro-LC.

Wa'il

I was most of the way through that article. He said a lot of things I've been thinking for a while.
I do wonder where he got the information regarding the teen girl who suffered a sudden collapse and died having a history of eating disorders, though?

I recall reading something about it in the news, but don't quote me, that was from a couple of years ago.

Wa'il

LOL!! I checked the link ... gotta love the before and after pics.


Doreen

Thankyou for a great laugh! My eyes were tearing. I also love the before and after pictures.

Loved the before and after pics and the baby fat head!

Karen

Update on the site!

Weird. He's now linking backto this thread:



Too bad there wasn't a "wave" emoticon, because I'd use it to say hi to Mr. Fat Bastard.

Awfully funny article. Thanks for posting it, sexee_babe.

Patrick

I should change my name to "Surf Lots"...I love looking up funny articles, I just went into my search browser and typed in "Atkins Heart Disease" and this is what came up. I had to post it, I was laughing too hard not too.

Wow, he really is linking back, I bet he is someone in this forum....how else would he know I was there and did a copy paste...he probably is a senior LCer...hmmmm....come clean FatBstrd....we wanna meet ya!!!!

LMAO! Nice piece. Too true.

Um, most webmasters can easily track where links are coming from. I have no doubt there've been a bazillion clicks on the link posted above.




Doreen

You guys! Look what you made me do, sign up to this site just so I could send you a reply.

REALLY glad you like the piece we ran on the Atkins diet, and that most of you saw it for the satire it obviously is, although 'Fatbstard' (not his real name!) is actually on the Atkins regime.

Baby Fat Head is a site devoted to bringing new writers in the fields of comedy and social commentary to a wider forum, we've been running since mid-April and have quite a following. We're based in the UK but have writers from many areas (including the US) submitting work on a regular basis. Our homepage is http://www.babyfathead.com but be warned that some of the humour is of an adult nature, also be aware that most of the time we do have our tongue in our cheek, and see most things as fair game to poke fun at (barring things like race issues and paedophilia, which are pretty much no go areas).

Another site you might like to consider visiting is http://www.poundy.com/index.html

All the best from all at Baby Fat Head, and thanks for discovering us.

Simon - joint owner, editor, designer and writer - Baby Fat Head