Okay, I must say I have shrunk quite a bit and am looking more attractive day by day

I am finally getting more comfortable with myself and wanting to date again. This is kinda embaressing but sure there are others who feel the same way?

I really believe there is someone for everyone, despite our sizes, but a girl can't help but be a litle self conscious.

bye
Kat

You are not alone. As horrible as it is, I am basically in hiding till I lose more weight and am more happy/comfortable with my body.

As I gained this weight I was living with my boyfriend at the time and it got to the point I didnt want him to look at me because I didnt want to look at me. He assured me I was beautiful but 'I knew better'

I am working on this now but I cannot get the courage till I am probably around 150 again to start dating again

I haven't dated for 7 years...I had a girlfriend just after I became overweight (8 years ago,) who liked me as I was and was very nice. But, her parents transferred her to a religious HS and we never saw each other again. I did a little searching on the web and came up with an email address. I emailed her to confirm it was her, and it is. But, I'm going to wait until I lose the rest the weight to ask her out.

Not just the opposite sex. I am embarassed to tell you that those extra pounds pretty much ruined my social life as well.

I gained 30 pounds. Everytime I meet a friend...the look on their faces (the polite ones) and the stupid offending questions from the rest...I avoid any contact with the real world.

However, this time (almost a year), I have been doing an introspective (sorry for my english) trying to understand why I binge and why the "weight factor" has gained so much power over my life. I've learned a lot from myself...a lot more than I would have if I had never reached my weight.

Plus I really understood that people are mean and rude to overweight people(since childhood), so everytime I meet someone overweight I make a good effort to make that someone feel extra-special.

I was always uptight about my weight but I always remained open to someone.

FYI - I met and married my husband as a size 18.

I have a boyfriend who reassures me I am beautiful but whenever I am on top (if you know what I mean) I feel self-conscieous cuz my belly is showing and I know it isn't like those nice flat ones guys always see in magazines and tv. At least when I lay down it looks flatter! lol. But I need to be more confident but I also want to lose the belly. I have been with him for 4 years...I need to get over my fat. But it's what's inside of me that I am feeling and I don't think I can stop being self-conscious about it until I get it to be the way I want it to be.

I've never had this problem, and never lacked for male attention no matter what my weight. But then, I'm not really shy.

No need to feel *more* self concious when you're on top, you are still you regardless. I know self conciuosness is hard to get over (I do much more preachin' than practicin' !!!!!) but obviously after 4 years you KNOW that being overweight or not means nothing in your relationship. We always see porches and Ferraris in magazines and TV too, but most of us drive chevy's or fords or toyotas and they're fine (there was no pun or double entendre intended, no matter how bad that sounded).

As for the self confidence coming back as we get thinner, yeah I guess I'm still waiting. I've been fat so long that I've pretty much never had ANY self confidence, even at stuff I'm good (or great) at. Someday . . .


Jeff

Life is not about being inhibited. When you want something, you've got to go for it.

TC

I wouldn't say that I'm shy about it, exactly...it's complicated. On the one hand I'd like to lose the weight because I'd feel more confident. On the other...it's not the weight that's the problem, it's the way I perceive myself. I need to be comfortable in my own skin before I can really get close to someone else. I also would kinda like to meet someone while I'm still overweight -- because if I met someone and started dating them at my very skinniest, I wonder if I would always be unsure of them if I were to gain a few pounds down the road.

Prejudice? How rude!
(JOKING!)

I also have dreams that my boyfriend cheats on me with gorgeous women (and I totally don't think he ever would cheat on me, he is a one woman man). I don't understand my brain but I think it has something to do with me being insecure with my looks. Anyway...even after you are with someone the insecurities might not go away (even though it sure is wonderful to have someone to love).

Does anyone have the opposite problem? My boyfriend of 2 years said he wasn't sure if he would be able to "get turned on" if I weighed under 180. Grrr!
Unfortunately, no one seems to even notice me unless I'm around 245-255 lbs. It must be the boobs

My weight hasn't held me back, more like my trust issues which I have always had. I am self conscience, it was a lot worse when I was younger, but I am not shy at all, and never have been. I just don't trust people very well!!

Lilbug

I was at a birthday party yesterday and this woman that I have thought was incredible for years walked up and asked why I didn't have a date. Of course I told her I was not dating and blah blah blah.

She said I was probably beating them off with a stick, I certainly told her that was not the case and we kept talking. Next thing ya know, she is talking about how unhappy she is and how when she was single (which she still is ... more or less. At least she is not married) she had her eye on me and yadda yadda yadda.....

That struck me as odd, cause I have known I wasn't a Chippendale Dancer, (more like Chunkendale) but she said she liked a man with a little meat on his bones. I still wonder if she likes a man with meat AND potatos on his bones?....

She wants to do lunch this week..... oh my....

Max