Hello!
My husband would belong to the TDC if he ever posted on message boards, but he does not. (He said I could ask for him, though.) Two days ago he surprised the heck out of me by saying, "I've decided it's time to do something about my fat ass. And, just to make it easier, I may as well do Atkins." I nearly fainted.

So, he wants to start on Monday. He's watched me do it for 14 weeks now and has a general idea of how it works. He doesn't want to read DANDR, he just wants me to tell him what to do. He doesn't want anyone who knows him to know that he's doing this; it's our secret. As far as I know, this is the first time in his life that he's ever considered a diet. When he was younger he used to be very active, but we're both couch potatoes now (I just started walking for exercise 3 weeks ago and he refused to join me).

He is 32, 6' tall, and weighs more than 300 lbs (he's not sure and doesn't want to know). He will not weigh or measure himself, he says he'll know how it's going by the way his clothes fit. He never eats breakfast and drinks more than a 2 liter of Diet Coke every day. This is going to be a huge lifestyle change for him.

It is very important to me that he gets off to a good start. I really, really, want him to succeed. Please help! I would love any advice you could give me. How is low-carbing different for a man? Is there something I should make sure I don't do because it could sabatoge it for him? How hard is it to stay on Induction for a long period of time? (I was only on it for 2 weeks.) Give me all your manly and triple-digit-related advice!

Thank you,
Rosa

First: I am no expert on anything. I do have knowledge of what works (and does not work) for ME. Your mileage WILL vary!

Breakfast: eat it. Bacon and eggs; ham and eggs; learn to make mock danish and serve with any kind of meat. I like deviled eggs with a splash of Franks Red Hot in the mix!

Lunch: tuna salad or chicken salad with a bed of lettuce. Chicken or turkey with a small serving of broccoli or green beans. Hot wings.

Dinner: any meat; any fish; any fowl (except an ex-wife); serve with any legal veggies and or a salad.

Drink his water. Lose the Diet Sodas as fast as comfortable.

If he does not want to have problems with hair and or anything else take a multi-vitamin and the other recommended supplements. Take a fiber supplement or he will wish he had.

And he needs to come on these forums and look at some of the 100+ success stories and there are many! (Donald, AlluraD, Atkins4myW, etc)

Eat a small snack of cheese or meat in between meals if needed.

He may feel "poorly" in the beginning but after a couple of months (at the outside) he will feel better than he has in a long time!

Very soon he will find this 2nd nature.

29th: he is very lucky to have YOU!

Hi Rosa! I like this thread!

I think your husband should weigh himself. When I did it, I cried. I knew I was in trouble, but I was way, way off when I guessed my weight nearly 2 years ago. Also, I really think your husband should read the book because it helps so much to understand the reasons why this WOE works. I fear that by not educating himself, your husband is setting himself up for failure. And as most of us know, it's that failure that causes us to gain even more weight. By not reading, your DH is approaching this like a "diet". And it aint.

As far as how this diet agrees with men, it really does! I eat so much meat and cheese and eggs that it's hard to believe I can still lose weight. We also get to eat 3 or more times a day, which I think is cool. I love that I can add 6 more slices of bacon in place of toast, etc. Men do very well with this WOE!

Warn him that the first 2 weeks are not going to be easy, but that they are also not indicative of how he'll feel afterwards. Cravings for bread and sugar will pass. It gets better every day. And before you know it, he'll WANT to get up off the couch and go for a walk!

Oh, and be sure to scan the recipes section so that you can find LC meals that he likes. There are plenty of them.

If you need to give him more motivation, point out that if he does nothing, he's gonna find his knees giving out (a very scary thing) and his body aching. The extra weight will age him much more quickly. Trust me, I know. Oh, and also show him the picture I put in my profile (the one of my belt). I started in size 58 pants. I now wear 44's.

Good luck to you both!

Donald

Rosa,

I'm not a guy but I have a husband.

I do the cooking in my house so when I went to this WOE I just started cooking only the things I am allowed to have. My husband has gotten the benefits from it. He has lost a few pounds and his diabetes is under control. He doesn't do the portion sizes like I do but basically all the food I cook is low carb. He has actually started looking at things to see how many carbs are in them. hmmm interesting. He is seeing that it is benefiting him.

Your hubby sounds like mine. He wont read DANDR. He wont join this forum. He expects me to learn and pass it on. He started on this WOL over a year ago and has lost 60 lbs and all without learning any of it on his own. He swears by this WOE now.........However, still wants to keep it secret. He is very supportive of me and encourages me to learn so he can get the "slop over" as he calls it. If your hubby is willing to turn his dietary intake over to you........let him. It worked for us and we are in it for the long haul. All I can say is good for him and good luck to both of you.

Nanci

The posts ahead of me are full of very good info and advice. I will approach this from another angle. Believe it or not, guys are all different just like woman. Yes, when it comes to procreation, we are all the same, but after that we each go in our own direction.

This WOE is a commitment and a choice. It takes the conscious, educated realization that sugar and carbs (too many) are the enemy. I am heavy because of carbs. They cause my blood sugar levels to spike, my appetite to go out of control, and my mind to become clouded.

I came to the conclusion that my system was screwed up and I needed to eat LC to become healthy. I started LCing to lose weight but soon realized the other benefits I gained. Finding this forum, reading the many posts, and learning about LCing were largely instrumental in making the LC WOE commitment.

Some days I pause and think: Wow, I can never have candy, potatoes, etc. That’s a huge commitment! Must I always watch my carb intake? It seems like a drastic solution. Well, at my age, I know what candy tastes like so I don't need to keep eating it! I've had it a thousand times and am now tired of it. I would rather be healthy than eat junk food.

We would never say to a drug addict, oh no, you can never have a mixed drink again? How sad. In addition, is a recovering alcoholic worse because he chooses to use Jesus Christ as his motivation? Certainly not. Then why would we care what anyone thought about us for choosing LCing as a way to get healthy?

In the end, you can provide information and support, but it will be up to your DH to do the reading and learning. You cannot force him to WANT something. As a guy, I know how stubborn men can be. On the other hand, once he makes a commitment, he will fight with honor to defend it.

Good luck.

Thank You Nanci!!

Sometimes we women are good helpmeets for our Hubbies!

Thank you, everyone, for your replies and help so far.

mudknife, I know that guys are all individuals, but my experience has been that men & women (generally, as groups) tend to approach diet & nutrition differently. I have been known to have long conversations with girlfriends about this diet or that one, or which exercises we like, etc. When I go out to lunch with another woman we nearly always comment on the menu options. I very rarely have these types of conversations with the men in my life and I've never overheard them saying these things to each other. My husband has always eaten whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and I think he considers it a little "girly" to do otherwise. So that's why I felt it might be helpful to have other men's perspectives on Atkins and the low-carb WOL.

You are absolutely right about this requiring committment and a new mind-set from him and I don't think he's there yet. It was a huge breakthrough for him to admit that he was willing to try changing his eating habits at all. I have never pushed him to lose weight or asked him to diet with me (although I have tried to get him to walk with me before and I do tease him about his excessive soda consumption). I am very careful not to "nag" him about anything. But now that he's asked for my help on his own -- well, I feel like I've got one shot and I'd better not blow it.

Thanks again for your response,
Rosa

Rosa,

I think you are definitely on the right track of helping when he asks, but not pushing.

My honey is starting to take a very Definite interest in food labels. Now, he would never DREAM of saying that he wants to go LOW CARB, but I have noticed that he's changing HIS ways the longer I'm on this path.

Since the start I have been made things that both of us can eat, and then he will generally add a baked potato, or garlic toast or whatever. Lately he's not been doing that as often. The other day he actually insisted we buy Splenda instead of a bag of sugar, when I said we were out of sugar for things like his cereal.

The basis of our relationship has always been NOT criticizing or trying to change the other. So, I'm not going to try to get him to read any books, or give him any Nazi treatment like 'you can never eat another potato.' I just try to lead by example, and figure if he's really serious he will follow.

I have a friend that followed a low carb plan her doctor suggested of 60 carbs a day and she has lost over 150 pounds. So, I really dont believe its necessary for everyone to go as low as Atkins and still be successful.

Of course, that's just my own opinion.

If he has said it is time to do something he is off to a good start. I suggest that if he does eat and drink a lot of unapproved foods then start off by cutting back slowly at first instead of just jumping into the fire. I started to cut back on carbs when I thought I wanted to do this then I ordered the books and the tapes, all along cut back more and more by the time I read the book or at least the parts I needed to, it was very easy to start off on the path. The good news is if he is anything like me he will start to feel his clothed loosening before he even starts the program if he goes about it in the manner I did.

Here's to wishing him well and that he joins you on those walks one day.

dave

Thank you again everyone. I showed your responses to my husband (the ones from the men anyway, sorry ladies) and they seemed to help. He read your comments, was thoughtful for a moment, then nodded and said, "Okay, but I'm still not going to read the book." I noticed him re-reading them later, too. I think it's helpful for him to see other guys in the same boat taking action, because his overweight friends just complain about it without doing anything. (I did that for a long time too, so I understand.)

This is his 5th day on Induction and he's doing very well. I have been surprised by how fast he's reduced his soda consumption. He gets it free at work and used to buy a 2 liter every night, too. He stopped buying it for home and started subbing some glassess of water for cans of Diet Coke at work. Yesterday he only had 2 cans! (Meanwhile I'm packing away the coffee and feeling like a poor role model. I switched to half regular, half decaf today.)

He complains a lot about the food he can't eat, but that's normal. I don't think he's cheated because he seems very serious about getting this right. He told me that he got a sandwich at work the other day, threw out the bread and ate the rest, then was worried that he'd eaten something bad because there were pepperchinis on it. When he asked me I said, "I don't know if that's okay or not. They're a vegetable, but if they're pickled in sugar that's bad." He said that he'd look at the label of a can we have at home to be sure.

He has not weighed himself, but it just so happens that he went to the doctor last week for the first time in ages (his Asthma flared up) and they weighed him there. He didn't look and told the nurse he didn't want to know, BUT they have a record of it. So in a few months when he's ready to know how far he's come, he can always ask them what he used to weigh.

Thank you all again -- men and ladies alike -- for your suggestions for him and support of me. I really appreciate it.

Hi Rosa.

I think it is very important for your hubby to read the book too. I am with DW, when he says this: "Also, I really think your husband should read the book because it helps so much to understand the reasons why this WOE works. I fear that by not educating himself, your husband is setting himself up for failure. And as most of us know, it's that failure that causes us to gain even more weight. By not reading, your DH is approaching this like a "diet". And it aint."

I also believe wholeheartedly, as an addict of both carbohydrates and an addictive drug - nicotine - that YOU have to take responsibility for yourself. If your husband is not willing to read the book, not only is he possibly setting himself up to fail (all addicts like to leave that as an option - until they finally make a firm committment to never touch their substance again), but he may be using his ignorance of DANDR as a way to put the responsibility for HIS life change onto YOU. This is dangerous, because it may adversely affect his health, and yours as well as you may feel guilty and responsible for not being able to control *his* addictions. We all know we are all only one step away from being fat again - and stressors like these are huge triggers for relapse. It's a vicious cycle. And it should be noted that this is not a 'male' thing. I did this, and am obviously not male. Addiction knows no gender bounds.

Be careful, and let him know how important it is to be informed about such a major change. He has to be more involved in it.

Diana

I am SO understanding you! lol! if he wont read the book then thats ok..he has you. in some areas of life this may not work but I know that I am in control of pretty much eveything my husband eats...ha ha SO...if for 1 second he mentioned wanting to do Atkins with me why I wouldnt make any big deal of it at all I'd just start making him LC legal foods Mine is completely into processed junk though....his choice so I get the healthiest of that crap I can...ugh

Hmm some tricks I think that might help but you won't find in any book, but
I just know from myself and others..


First.. unfortunetly you need to set the stage if you truly want to help him, it would be nice if he would take more of this responcibility. But Some people just don't like to read, they can barely get past assemble instruction never mind a 250 page book, exspecially if technical stuff doesn't intrest them. That doesn't mean he can't get the readers digest version from you. Casually explain the concepts and reasons to him, reread it yourself if you need to pull up some important facts.

Second, Make a list of Readily available foods that he likes and are approved, Don't try to get him to eat things that he isn't to keen on yet or new. The idea here is make it so he enjoys it. Nothing like munching on some shrimp and steak. being surrounded by his favorites, makes it allot easier, remember he doesn't realize he can have them. Make sure thier is a variety in the house.

Thrid, Make sure he eats, tell him to have as much as he wants of approved foods, don't worry about too much when he first starts, he needs to break the sugar bond, which means hunger cravings., Be ready, he may overeat and start putting away 20 oz steak and eggs. The diet should take care of that all by itself, after a week of two of protien, he will be lucky to have enough hunger to put away a nine ounce.

But remember... his success is no reflection of you, you are not him, he is a big boy and makes his own mind, you are just the coach. Try not to remind him too much, he might be on the deffensive. Saying things like "what I usually do when I crave those is," instead of "Your not supposed to have that" maybe the differnce to him from helpful advice compared to being nagged. He may be sensitive about his weight and kind of embarrased, so Kids gloves until he is comfortable on his own. His results should be quick, so he should soon get possitive feedback.

Last bits of advice..ohh so important

Dont forget the vitamins..if he forgets his pottasium, and losses too much he will start feeling lilke crap and may get aches and might uses this as an excuse to give up.

Good luck, you have a challenge in front of you..