I go through that too Ian; I have some particular eaters here as well, and my DH has worked crazy shifts for years and eats at all hours. I used to feel like a short order cook some days.
Then as they got older I started depending on leftovers and taught them how to cook for themselves, and now I'm a free woamn several nights a week.
My oldest son has come a long way but he has a neurological disorder that gives him hyper-sensitive taste, and as a kid he could find the teensiest bit of onion in anything I made. That tongue would come out like a cash register drawer and the rest of the meal was suspect after that. Used to make me crazy... But he got over it as he got older and is gradually adding things back into his diet. He does raw onions and peppers on sandwiches, and just started eating a bit of sauerkraut of all things - yet he can't handle mayo, raw tomatoes or mustard. My youngest is 17 also and he's very veggie shy now - this is the kid who before he was 14 used to eat just about everything I put in front of him. He drinks OJ by the gallon and eats tiny portions of only the parts of the meal he likes. He'd live on pizza, fries and bagels if I let him - but he loves to BBQ for us so we build meals around that. I think it tastes better to them if they help cook or prepare it some way. I also have my elderly mother living here and there are some foods that are too spicy or strong flavored for her (chili, broccoli). She does have small hiatal hernia, high BP, and is susceptible to ulcers, so we make allowances. DH isn't too bad, there's very little he won't eat. He cooked for a 2 star general when he was in the army, and also ran an officer's club kitchen, so he's a fairly accomplished cook. We cook together now and then - it's fun to watch us whirling around each other in the kitchen!
It's nice because on the days when the DH puts in long hours, I don't have to drop everything and cook for the family, but if he's home and available he'll lend me a hand or even take over. The boys can usually manage on their own and they even fix something hot for grandma.
I like to cook, but after almost 21 years of marriage, I do get tired of it and can use a break.
I can't do much with my mother at 69, but her diet is much better than it used to be. When the kids were younger sometimes I did alternate choices. Other times I just placed a tiny portion of the offensive food on the plate and encouraged them to try it again - if you still didn't like green beans after you ate three pieces, that was all you had to have that night. I used to make the boys a sandwich or something when thye were younger and we had things for dinner they really couldn't stomach - I didn't want any food issues for them. If you force it on them, they get weird about that food for the rest of their lives. I've found cheese sauces, gravies and red sauces seem to camouflage the offending food long enough to get some into them before they hit a naked peice and revolt. My youngest will not eat breakfast at home - he gets ill if he eats before he's fully awake and he leaves the house before 7AM. After years of lectures, I finally gave up and left him to his own devices. I don't like it, but it's not my body.
Bag lunches are tough to get enough variety in for a fussy eater. The school lunch was often overwhelming for my oldest and he lived on PBJ's from home for years. Kids would rather eat the same boring thing day after day than struggle through another gagging meal. It's funny because now Jason makes these elaborately constructed roll-ups to take to work, or he fills a microwaveable container with assorted leftovers. They do change! The youngest used to eat the regular school lunch until his tastebuds changed and he decided to lose weight, now he just buys whatever he really likes a la carte. Probably pizza, fries and OJ. *sigh* Well, his tech school has a culinary department that prepares the lunches - hopefully that makes them a bit healthier!