Every time we are invited to eat to someone's house I have the same struggles. And I'm not talking about family or best friend's where I can bring my own food and they don't mind. I'm talking about acquaintances or friends that are not so close and they invite you for a special occasion. I feel awful because I don't know how to act. If I don't say anything they may go out of their way to prepare a wonderful meal and it would be so rude to say "no thank you, I'm on a special diet" or something like that. I know it would upset me if I would cook for hours and my guests don't eat. When we get invited I usually say (and please let me know if you have a better suggestion, this is why I'm writing this post): "please don't go out of your way to cook anything special... we are on a special diet and can't eat a lot of things... we just love to come for the company.."
Yesterday it didn't work very well. My friend mentioned she is also watching what she eats and if I would be able to eat this wonderful cheesecake made with "lowfat this, lowfat that and lowfat graham crackers crust". So then you have to explain why you can't eat that, and it really sounds very rude when they are calling to invite you and you say no, I can't eat this, I can't eat that. I kept on repeating "we just love to come for the company, don't worry, we don't need to eat dessert..." but I believe that this could get old and we may not get invited very often.
I really like getting together with people and making new friends. Is this WOE going to affect my social life?
Does anybody else had this problem?
Thanks!

Yep - all you have to do is change the details slightly when you tell them that you're on a special diet. As you discovered, everyone assumes low fat. You just have to be more specific: you're borderline diabetic (or PCOS, or whatever health reason you don't mind sharing) and have to be careful about sugar or starch. If you tell them this ahead of time, even if you tell them not to go out of their way, they can't complain if you don't eat what they cook.

Anyone who gets upset with you just because you won't eat their stupid cheesecake has *serious issues*!!! Nobody has the right to force-feed you for etiquette's sake.

Of course, as you probably already know, you can offer to bring something you *can* eat: a cobb or caesar salad, an appetizer plate with lots of LC stuff, a LC dessert...

Hope things work out and you have a nice evening with her/them.

Yeah, what Kristine said.

I'm sure, too, that once these people get to know you they will enjoy your company so much they won't mind making accomodations - just to have you back! And you can always have them over to YOUR house to show them exactly what they (low fatters) are missing.

I just had the same problem at my inlaw's. They knew I was on Adkins, they had processed chicken and insisted that it was low carb - I took one bite and tasted the fillers and starch. I wanted to spit it out but keeped myself from doing that. They also had meatballs!! I had one and knew there was bread crumbs inside!!! What could I do?!? I just took an extra helping of salad with NO DRESSING (all low fat - high carb). They felt bad - I just explained that I was doing this for my kids and not to worry and that the salad filled me up!!

I'm sure if you let them know that you "can't" eat certain foods they'll oblidge you. I have Vegetarian friends, daibetic friends & some with food allergies. If I invite them I make sure that I serve food that they can eat.

Ok, maybe it wasn't quite that big but.....definitely agree you should just tell your friends you can't eat sugar or starch. I wonder if those who aren't lowcarbing know how many foods are, or have, starches in
them.
We were invited to a friend's new place for dinner two weeks ago. I didn't say anything and was sure, like always, there would be something I could eat. I assumed they'd be bbq'ing. She brought out an enormous tray of lasaga, and a big ol' honkin' loaf of garlic bread! Thankfully there was a salad.
Most people just want to please their guests and would be more than happy to adjust the menu, given enough time. My friend wasn't angry, but upset with herself that everyone couldn't enjoy something she prepared.
I love when my lowcarbing friends come over! It means I just have to broil, bake or grill something, toss a salad, crumble some blue cheese and dinner's ready!
-J

Thanks for your replies. I really don't mind not eating, it is just that if you are trying to make new friends, you don't want to be rude. When you say "I can't eat sugar or starch" since they are not familiar with the program, they don't realize that there is sugar in the salad dressing, etc.
I can't show up with my own dressing. I can at my in laws or at close friends' houses but not at new friends' or people you don't know much.
JanaBanana,
Your example with the lasagna was just exactly what I was referring to. I would have been perfectly happy sitting there eating the side salad and enjoying the company. Because that is what is all about. Thank God after 4 months in this WOE I can sit at a table in front of the most delicious carbs and not feel tempted. But the hosts sure don't feel the same way. And that is what I'm trying to avoid.

I understand you want to make a good immpression.
I don't think it's rude at all. You can tell them ahead of time and trust me they will understand.
What if you had a medical condition? What's the difference? My daughter has friends taht are allergic to chocolate so for her birthday I don't serve chocolate cake I'll serve some other flavour. My niece is allergic to dairy, another friend can't eat any gluten. Then there's the nut allergies... the list goes on & on.

You could also offer to bring a (LC) side dish to share with everyone.

Worst case scenario, stuff some LC-friendly food in your bra and eat it in the bathroom

Yeah and if they act real put off by your dietary requests, bring the crap-a-lot candy to pass around.