Hi -- If I posted this in the wrong place, I'm sorry.

On Thursday, I lost my most devoted best friend of the past 18 years. My pet, Blacquie - the family cat. Perhaps, you do not think this would affect you, but it does. This cat and daughter grew up together and she was my shadow, comforter when I needed, back walker when I was stiff, and purred constantly.

It just seemed like over night, she was get so thin and could barely walk. It was so painful to see her and she could not even whimper. She went out like the lady she was. In her sleep, stretched out so royally. I miss her so much, and so does my daughter. She was such a part of our lives.

Over the weekend, a local boy was killed on the tracks. He and a friend were leaving McD's and stopped to put quarters on the rails to flatten them. There was a local train stopped at the station, and I can only guess they didn't see the freight train coming. One boy had walked away and was waiting for his friend on the other side. He saw the entire thing.

The child that was killed, was a delightful, happy, polite wonderful boy. I have had him several times in classes and currently in my math class. It was so hard today going to work and having to deal with this.

We had social workers, psychologists to work with us and the kids. They were in and out of the rooms all day long. There was a special meeting for the teachers on the correct information and how to deal with questions and most importantly to encourage the children to be kind to the boy who lost his best friend.

The weekend was difficult. I will admit and yet, I managed to make it through until 3:00 p.m today -- Monday. I just gave in and ate about 14 mini chocolate eggs that were in a container on the desk of the teachers' desk that I was using. I can not even tell you what they tasted like.... I unwrapped them as fast as I could stuff them in.

Why did I let this happen to me? Why can't I be strong like the rest of you? I know that I was emotionally beat, worn out and still sad -- yet, is that an excuse to eat candy?

I am not beating myself up, and yes, I can rationalize my behavior, yet, does this make me a weak person? I am sure many of you would not have fallen and eaten the candy.
Why don't I have this resolve?

I need to gather my inner peace, so that I do not continue on this eating trend and eat and eat for no reason.

Thank you for reading my post,

ATM