The last time I felt this bad in my life was when my boyfriend of 3 years broke-up with me and moved out within the same week. I am expierencing an evil type of dejavu I think. The very first time I ever started the Atkin's program I weighed 220lbs. I eventually lost 40 pounds and thats when my old boyfriend left me......right when I was starting to gain self-confidence and like myself. This time around I had been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and once the 40 pounds was gone (mind you I started at 260 this time) he was also out of the picture again. It really crushes me that when I finally start to take control of one part of my life, another goes totally awray(sp?) I sit at home every night completely alone, I have one friend to my name and I can't depend on her to be there for me 24/7. I drove all my other friends away when I was in relationships because I become very unsociable and withdrawn. Within the past week I have even started binging and drinking because I just can't keep my head out of the dumps. It is wrong of me to blame all my hurt and frustration on my bad relationships because they all stem from my own personal insecurities - but I am afraid I will never become a strong enough person to overcome them.....and I am deathly afraid of re-gaining my weight. Anyone who has gone through this will understand where I am coming from, but where do I go from here?? I am compeletly miserable.......crying and hopeless in New Mexico