I think I've spent many years with a distorted body image. When in a good mood, I could always see the skinny me when I looked in the mirror. I knew I was overweight, but was in denial of how much and I felt relatively good about myself on most days. Then I would see my reflection in a shop window or pictures would get developed and I'd see the me others likely saw. What a fat slob-no matter how well dressed! It was incredibly depressing and frustrating when I would be dismissed because of my size-not to mention the way weight aged me.

As I lose weight, I have more consistant happy moods, but still see mostly the same me in the mirror. I know the scale says I've dropped significant pounds, and I get postive praise from family and co-workers, but don't really feel any different. I have a digital camera and find myself frequently taking pictures to see if my body image is still out of wack. It seems my body is just catching up to my internal image of it-or I'm now seeing myself as fatter than I am. I highly doubt I'm an eating disorder candidate, and don't want to be boney, but I worry about my body image swinging the other way and start seeing myself as fatter than I really am.

As the "real me" emerges, like others have mentioned, I find myself resenting those who are suddenly paying more attention to me than they ever did before. My body looks better-but I don't think my personality has changed much other than feeling more confident. The next fifty pounds ought to be very interesting.