Hi all,

This will be the dumbest thing you'll read today, guarenteed

It's vyyz looking for your personal, experiences, opinions, and stratagies
how to overcome the overwhelming feeling when people start to compliment you.
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I've had a good but shortlived success on LCing before

The trigger? (I probably wrote it in my journal)
Dealing with compliments from other friends and co-workers who are constantly dieting.

I felt 'ashamed' of my progress when the compliments started.
I would say 'Thank you', then stress over it. I felt weird. Like there was
now this expectation for me to win or fail.

When I was at my best at LCing, I concentrated more on counting carbs, drinking water, and excersie. It didn't cross my mind how I would look after two weeks of induction.

It was my co-worker paid me a compliment about my weightloss and then started to go on about her dieting failures and that she can't do it, but good for me.

Same with my roomates girlfriend. She commented how I was looking good but then dive into her own problems with eating, THEN tell me how dangerous and non-permanent it is to do it the Atkins way. I could feel her resentment when she FORCED me to try on a dress she couldn't fit into.
What a mistake.

I felt like I was personally responsible for both their failures.

I felt like I was being purposely flaunting my weightloss

Trying every day to boost both spirits and get them on my wagon, saying

'You have to make that personal choice for yourself and stick with it'

I felt so bad. I started to wear big sweaters, scared that someone would notice me.

I got sad & carbed out so bad, I put on weight again and more.
The compliments stopped, and I felt relieved

BUT I felt terrible that I let myself down.
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2nd time around, I am so thankful for these LC forums!

I have more confidence this time and have true support with real survivors

but I know that's not enough when I walk away from my computer

Can you give advice anyone? Please?
My pants are getting a bit loose again.

Hey! I am in a similar situation (in that I hate dealing with compliments), I actually posted something similar on another support forum and I got bashed. My issues deal mostly with insecurity about my weight. Someone even told me to get over being a wall-flower and enjoy the compliments. However, I am not a wallflower at all and have always been very outgoing, I just don't like the comments about my weight!!!! I work in a hospital and see tons of people all the time, but sometimes I won't see them for a week or two. Lately, If this happens, they are like "hey you have lost more weight since the last time I saw you!" One physical therapy girl stopping me walking down the hall, and demanded "how much weight have you lost!". I have numerous stories of people noticing...
Listen, you have nothing to do with their failures and you don't sound like you are purposefully flaunting. Don't try to convert them to low-carb. The plan isn't for everyone, and if they aren't motivated to change, they won't. Even on our plan that we know will work!!!
I too have "failed" a diet in the past because I couldn't stand everyone talking about my weight loss, and I know it was insecurity.
So this time, I am taking the comments in stride (really trying too) and I have made a firm resolve to not let what anyone says effect what I am doing. I am also very vague with my answers. This helps out alot. With people like the PT girl who demand how much weight i have lost, I say something like "oh about 15 pounds and I have been working out alot..."
Only with a few select "close co-workers" know that I do low carb. I am not ashamed to be following this WOL. The reason I do this is because I don't want everyone and their brother putting in their .02 about my way of life.
Good luck, hold your head high and don't worry about the failures of others...as momma always said, "only worry about you!"

"Only worry about you!" Great advise!!! I used to think like that too...always hating the compliments.....but i have started to overcome that guilty feeling.

I am a hairdresser and I usually see most of my clients every 4 to 6 weeks. Now I use them to motivate me. They come in and don't say anything about how I am looking and I think "Dang! I gotta start working out a little harder!!! No ones noticed any changes in me." It gets me back in the workout mode and helps keep me on the right track!!

Don't let their jealousy knock you back a notch!! Keep rockin!!!!

I'm very out-going and I'm the 'rah, rah, rah' person of the group,
however, I don't like being in the personal spotlight. I feel you, skinniMJB!

Many ppl here feel it's great to be complimented and take it as a win. More power to them, but it's very narrow minded to think that it's about 'lightening up' or 'being some wall flower'.

It's just like when people say 'Go on a diet' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself', it doesn't resolve the issue, right?

This is an insecurity I feel needs to be addressed and support that needs to be given.

The movie THIN (I think this is the name of the movie) is the best portryal of a small town man who goes from very obese to very thin and the people who witness his weightloss.
I cried when he looked in the mirror and no longer recognized himself!
It's not all about image, it's how you feel in your body. Changes like this can take such an adverse affect if your not prepared!

For me, it's b/c I know the personalities of the people I work with for sometime.

Certain ppl are genuine and they don't ask me 5x a week how the eatings going or pull on my pant waist (I'm not joking) to see how many inches are missing.

[QUOTE=vyyz]I'm very out-going and I'm the 'rah, rah, rah' person of the group,
however, I don't like being in the personal spotlight. I feel you, skinniMJB!



I have really enjoyed this thread. I have become aware that I often divulge that I am on a "diet", perhaps as a defense mechanism, get the pun in before anyone else. No wonder I get the rolling eyes! I have had an argument over the table at work before now, with a woman who insisted reading every anti LC cutting in every crap paper, every day! I used this as a spur to prove I mean't business! The statement above hit a chord with me. I guess we all have a problem with our appearance otherwise we would not be doing this for the most part. Maybe in time, the compliments will sit better. A part of me resents the whole obsession with my appearance, after all I know who I am inside, and that doesn't change.A bit of me thinks I am fine as I am, so don't compliment me for changing. Pretty screwed thought processes, I shall certainly ponder on this issue for a while, so thanks y'all

Good morning.

Well the doctor appointment went well last night... the doctor was genuine and kind. He explained about chemical imbalances... We talked about my obsession about having to have things done a certain way. We talked about my sad state lately, the low amount of sleep, my low self esteem, problems with self-acceptance... all the things that we have been talking about. He prescribed a mild sleeping pill and Wellbutrin. I will be getting those prescriptions filled this afternoon. He asked that since I was so obsessed with the fat that I still saw instead of the successes that I have had if I ever binge and purge... which I told him no (mainly because I think that is gross)... I asked about the side effects of Wellbutrin... he mentioned that it makes some people hyper and makes some drousy... depending on the effect on me would determine what time of the day I would be taking it... Terry asked about weight gain, which made us chuggle because the doctor looked at me and said, "I know he asking that for you... You have a great husband"... He said that some people experience a 5% increase in weight which would level out. He said that half of the people lose weight due to the increase of activity that they get due to the medication... He said that Wellbutrin will also help in quit smoking... which I am happy about. He said that in about 2 weeks I need to set a date to throw out the cigarettes but he said it could take about 4 weeks.. he stressed that I shouldn't push myself on that point... I cried some... he assured me over and over that this is something out of my control... that there is no way in the world that I should feel ashamed or embarassed.. that this happens to 35-50% of the people in the world... He congratulated me on coming to him for help. He said that this is something that you can not take care of on your own. He said that it was good that I tried to do it myself but that I came to him should him that I am a strong woman. He said that Terry would probably be able to see the difference in me before I would... I need to go back and see him in about 3-4 weeks. I am going this morning at 8:20 for blood work. He wants to check me for my blood sugar levels and for thyroid. He said that thyroid has never been checked and although he doesn't think it is my blood sugar levels or thyroid he wants to definitely rule them out. I am very pleased with my visit. He really took the time and told me that this appointment is not going to be rushed. He wanted to make sure that I understood everything... He said numerous times that now that I came to him that means that we are a team and we will conquer this together... I cried a little more. He looked at Terry and told him that he is a good man to stand by me through this... All and all it was a good appointment... I am glad that I went although I was very apprehensive, nervous, ashamed, and embarassed.

I want to thank you all for your support during this time... I truly appreciate our friendship...

Thanks for everything!

Julie

oh do i hear this one. sheesh. especially on the "how much weight have u lost?" comment- its almost as bad as asking a woman how much she weighs IMO. a coworker actually said to me the other day "hey skinny!" im thinking ugh- how dare he- im "severely overweight" and this guy is calling me skinny. is he making fun of me? even the people who are like "you look great", etc. is usually from people who know i am "dieting" and i feel like theyre saying that just because of that, yano? i just say thanks and try to get myself out of that situation/ conversation asap. i wish i was more flattered like people tell me i should be, but im not- its totally offensive. im so glad im not the only one! and i too posted about this elsewhere and was told to lighten up and take it as a compliment, etc.

Great advice here! It is SO uncomfortable for me to think that anyone will comment on my weight loss of how I am eating. I work at home so to many, I am just an e-mail =). Once a year though, I have to visit each of our branch offices, which leads to a trip or two a month so people go a long time without seeing me. I guess I just don't want the added pressure of people knowing and asking about it/commenting about it/etc.. Maybe when I lose a significant amount, I will love it, but it is tough for now. Odd that I would feel more comfortable just being accepted as fat, but I guess change can be tough even if it is good =)

Whew and I thought I was weird....about 10 years ago I lost 70 lbs and did the bulk of the losing over the summer months when people were away on vacation, when they came back it was the same thing, I couldn't walk down the hall (also work in hospital) that someone I knew, even slightly would stop me and congratulate me. I never analyzed why it made me so self conscious but it really did.

People are starting to notice again and a few have said something, when they ask what I'm doing, I answer Atkins....you can see the wheels clicking away in their head and 90% of people have said a negative comment about Atkins.

I answer, "Well it works for me and right now that's all that matters to me".

Hard to understand why they'll give you a compliment one minute then shoot down your efforts in the next breath.

i wonder why people give us such a hard time or a raised eyebrow or the rolling of the eyes when we say we're doing atkins?? but if i just say i'm LCing or dieting or just eating "right", they're like good for u! what do people have against atkins? u can't argue the results, kwim?

Im confused right along with ya jemman. If someone notices I lost weight I just say thank you for the complament. Somtimes I say Im on Atkins, and get " the look" as I call it. Like they are waiting for me to fail and gain it back.

Angel

I agree with the comment about Atkins and when someone corners me on it.

The common response I get sounds like I did something horrible, like eat their kids pet rabbit.

"ATKINS, nooo that's bad..."

Well, I've gotten around the whole Q/A about what I'm doing to look better. Wanna know?

When someone asks me either 'How's the diet?' or 'What diet are you on?'

I say either 'What diet?' and laugh or 'I'm just eating the right stuff lately'

One girl in another office is doing LCing (south beach) and she
looking good. I told her about my deliema and she gave me some fighting words.

Here's the slice of advice:

'When someone says 'You look great' or 'Hows the diet',
turn it around with HUMOR. Tell them, 'You look great too' or answer with a question like 'The diet's good, how about yours? '

They may not know how you feel about these kind of questions or how to support you. The best way is to let them know how you feel personally.
She told me ppl clue in usually and see that it is impersonal to ask, if they don't get the hint, empower them by saying
:

'Let's talk about something else rather then the diet. Seems thats all anyone wants to talk about is me. Say how are you doing?' How are the kids?'

DON'T add any additional stress to yourself or your diet. You are in control, not them. If it is persistant and it's more like harassment or lack of couth, either avoid them completely OR just ask them 'So when I was bigger, why didn't you compliment me then?



Take the heat off yourself. This is coming from a lawyer who has lost 23 pounds!

vyyz- I will definately look for the movie THIN. It sounds good, and might be alot like some of the people I work with. ( I do gastric bypass nutrition counseling...a whole other can of worms!)
I am so glad we are adressing this topic! Its funny, since I posted the other day, three people have made comments!! I was mulling on the topic and I think my biggest fear (that is causing my insecurity), is that I might someday fail and gain the weight back and those same people will still be looking. (since this has happened to me before and it's horrible) Anywho, I guess thats what motivates me NOT to fail and gain back weight! LOL. I am down to the lowest weight i have been in 2 years and it can only get better!

'When someone says 'You look great' or 'Hows the diet',
turn it around with HUMOR. Tell them, 'You look great too' or answer with a question like 'The diet's good, how about yours? '

I'm glad we're all in together now!

Today I ordered chicken breast and asked if I could substitue the fries 'n' refried beans with some vegatables!

The waitress asked if I would like to hear some of her 'good n' tasty suggestions ' I said yes, but included that I have to avoid carbs.
She smiled big and said that more ppl are more aware of their eating habits at restaurants now and that she's happy to make these adjustments to accomodate my health choices!


She ran down a list of salad combinations and asked if I like broccoli with a slice of cheeder!


I couldn't believe it! This waitress wasn't being mean or anything, she wanted to give good customer service.

Now, the way she asked was helpful and she was very nice (I gave her a nice tip)