Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted in a while as I have been soo busy with work and too burned out to turn on the computer when I get home, but I have been lurking!

Anyway, my husband moved out a couple of weeks ago because he needs a "break." I am not even going to get into that one! Well, I went into a fairly deep depression, and have pretty much stopped eating. Luckily I have the fat stores to burn but I am also concerned about muscle mass. I think I have lost about 15 pounds in three weeks, where before I was stalled FOREVER. What an awful way to kickstart weightloss! I force myself to eat some cottage cheese in the morning or an Atkins shake or bar, but I have been skipping lunches and having small dinners.

What I am concerned about now is my utter lack of appetite and when I do have dinner, I can only eat about 1/4 to 1/2 of what I used to. My stomach must be about the size of an apple now (well, on the inside). I also feel that my weightloss is the most positive thing going on in my life right now, and for the first time in my LIFE, I am actually having a fear of eating. I never would have thought that possible! I am soo scared to start eating more calories now, because the wieght is just dropping off and I was stalled for sooooo long (all the tweaking of food and exercise didn't do a dang thing). I don't know what i would do if I actually started gaining it back at this point!

Has anyone else had to deal with emotional undereating? What did you do to break the cycle AND continue to lose weight at a healthy rate?

I can't say that i am an emotional undereater (quite the opposite, actually), but i just wanted to say 'hang in there!!'. It sounds like you are going through a tough time, and i just wanted to send a little support and good thoughts your way

This happened to me once - I was 17 (I'm 33 now) and had been dumped by my first love. It was not a conscious decision on my part, but I just couldn't eat. I weighed a very healthy 135-138 and in about a month dropped to 118 - the weight I graduated high school at couldn't sleep because my HIP bones hurt and stuck out too much - anyway...I simply could not eat. I had no appetite and found myself specifically ordering food that I loved in restaurants and eating two bites and feeling "full". I wasn't nauseas or anything and my aunt thought I was anorexic - I was not. I was DEPRESSED.

Don't be afraid to eat. Your body needs the nutrition it gets from food (not only calories it burns from fat). You may not eat as much as you did prior to your husband "needing a break" but do try to eat something. It sounds like you are doing this, but make sure you are taking some vitamins as well. I wouldn't add this to your pile of worries. You will eat normally again, have you sought counseling - in whatever form works for you, friends, family, a more structured environment, like a counselor? I'm sure you are in pain - I have been separated and subsequently divorced and then later remarried myself. It took a long time to get past that betrayal, longer than it took to get over the initial shock and pain. My advice is to try not get eating/not eating mixed up psychologically with what is happening in your marriage. It is truly the opposite of comfort eating and deriving anything from lost appetite can lead to different eating disorders/self esteem issues. Be careful and just remember that depression can cause this lack of appetite and that while the benefits might be good (for weight loss, I mean) you need to fuel yourself for a lot of other reasons. PM if you'd like. Take care.

Dear Shelly,
What happened to you is that your stomach shrunk. It is not that bad, after all, people have that gastric weight loss surgery in order to accomplish the same. But you need to eat something, because if you go on a very low calorie diet (intentionally or not) your metabolism shuts down, you loose a lot of muscle mass, and then when you start eating again your body stores fat.
It would be easier for you to have 5-6 mini meals than trying to eat three full meals. It doesn't have to be much, but make sure that if you eat a carb, you eat protein and fat with it.
I had a situation like this when my stomach shrunk due to emotional stress and I can relate the feeling.
Hope things get better for you. There's wonderful people here if you need to vent.
Best to you.

Exercise has gotten me through some of my worst depressions. If you don't maybe you should try it. It will raise your metabolism and also increase serotonin levels. Thus, you might be a bit less depressed, and when your appetite increases, the exercise will counteract the increased calories.

I went thru a period where I could hardly face food much less eat it, same type of emotional scenario. It took a while to get back in the groove. You do need to eat tho.

Hugs

I went through something simaler but not because of emotions but because of having my jaws wired shut. ok your think welll duh you could not eat,but the thing was i saw the weight droping off and liked it. and my stomach had srunk. well 4 years and 30 pounds later i was 100 pounds at 5 '10 and very anorexic.

dont let this happen to you. i have distroyed my intestines and still suffer the side effects. force your self to eat, dont end up like i did.

I know exactly what you are talking about. It used to be the opposite for me - but now when I am having severe emotions, good or bad - I "forget" to eat. I just don't think about food and have no interest in it - but I still try to force myself to eat something nutrient dense to at least get something in. I'm going through this phase right now...while good for weight loss, not so good for your body. Keep working at it and eat small amounts more frequently - best of luck!

Okay guys, I am not hatin'. But, it has been the men in my life and my faulty relationships with them that would cause me to have no appetite. Fortunately, I did not lose too much weight because, up until 10 years ago, I was way too skinny. But, when I have emotional issues, I cannot eat. With this woe, however, I think I would eat something nutritious 3 times a day to keep myself healthy.

B57

My brother died a few years ago and that had a similar effect on me. I was basically just too sad to eat. I understand what you're going through. I have also been bullimic which made my metabolism insanely slow. Later after I got better and ate NORMAL size portions I gained weight like crazy. You gotta eat now so when you get your groove back you can enjoy food. I'm sending you a big virtual hug!

when I went through my divorce over 3 years ago I did the same thing. I think people who say they are stress eaters have never been through the type of stress divorce causes. I used to say I was a stress/depression eater, and I was when they were minute things causing them. I was the one who filed for divorce so it was not a shock that I was getting one. I WANTED one. There is still nothing more stressful than going through one, especially a nasty one, and I had an 8 month old baby when I filed!

I went from 265 to 208 from april to august. If I ate a piece of fruit OR a small thing of yougart a day I was lucky. I really don't ever remember being hungry either. There was one week I remember I lost 14 pounds that week. Sometimes I wouldn't eat for 2 days! Ok so that was a really poor way to lose, but I kept it off for over 2 years, and the highest weight I ever got back up to was 229, not near what I started at.

There are different types of stress, MAJOR stress is so much different than everyday work, money, kids stress. I wouldn't worry about it right now. Enjoy the weight loss, you will eventually start eating again once you start to move into acceptance of what is going on in your life. I did.

Now I tell my BF he HAS to marry me and then he can divorce me so I will lose this last 60 pounds I wanna lose lol. Not a good way to lose weight, but hey the Divorce Diet worked well the first time!

As long as you're eating something, you're probably fine.

Me, I tend to undereat when I'm emotional or stressed, at least at first. But eventually the appetite kicks in again and I gain back much of what I lost.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone for your support!

I have to say I ate a salad tonight with baby shrimp om it and a one (half ) of a twice baked potato (Yukon Gold, lower on the glycemic index). I am figuring any food is good food right now. I do eat cottage cheese for breakfast if I can (to take my vitamins), tons of water and only one can of diet coke a day, so I am getting something. I promise I will start my walks on the beach again at lunch, if I can ever take a lunch! and hope to start kickboxing again in three weeks or so...whenever I get in good enough shape.

I can't tell you what great therapy kickboxing is! I need that more than anything right now!

I know exactly what you mean Shelly. When things get hectic or Im feeling down I UNDER eat and feel cruddy later. My DH and a good friend of mine ask me somtimes if I ate. lol. They know me too well.

I've been there sweetie.

Just eat when you can, even if just a little bit of something.

Go for those walks and focus on you. Regardless of what's going on, you are important, you are beautiful, and it's okay to focus just on that for a while.

Warm hugs...

Shirley