I don't know where else to put this. I really don't want to get too specific, but my spouse went out and did something AGAIN today that he promised me he would never do again. And, as usual, he treated me like crap once he got home.
All I wanted to do was cram the feelings down my throat with fattening, high carb junk. I settled on a piece of my homemade Atkins chocolate cake with a few strawberries. Kept my carbs in line, and feel pretty good about that. Why oh why does he do this? And why do I feel so horrid when he does?
Just when I am starting to feel like I'm getting my life back in order, all heck breaks loose. Fortunately, I DID keep my eating under control, and just cursed a lot under my breath. If I could have gone for a walk, I would have... just to burn off some of the anger. The kids were home though, and they needed their baths and bedtime stories.
I'm rambling... I don't expect a response. I just feel better getting it out.

Rambling and ranting is good medicine! It is tough to change that behavior if you are an emotional eater like I am. Food always soothed me and sometimes I miss that. Hang in there! We don't need to punish ourselves for what someone else has done. Let's be good to ourselves! We can do it!

Orchid

I agree venting always makes me feel better! I'm also an emotional eater and it's so hard to not turn to those comfort foods I used to enjoy. I hope you are feeling better now!

I also hope you are feeling better Knitgirl. I am feeling in a crappy way tonight over a relationship issue and feel like diving into the carbs myself so I know how you feel.

May tomorrow bring us both a better day.

Hope you are better. I think sometimes our families are threatened by the changes that we make and will sabotage us. My husband realized that I clean “the house” when I get angry and the angrier that I am the deeper the cleaning. So at times he would joke about making me angry on purpose. You can’t change their behaviors (maybe make a little when they realize the old ways don’t work any more) but always watch for yours. Change will come and you will be happier for it. Meanwhile vent when need be. Hang in there.

Why do you put up with it? It isn't your fault, it's your Husband's fault. I'd make some changes I think.

You've made a big step forward in how you deal with your frustration. We sometimes can't change anything but our reactions...and yet what a big difference it makes!

Remember that your highest obligation is the important things...and that you are one of them!

LOL, skinnbones. That's me to a T.. When I get really urked by good ole dh I clean like a mad woman. He too makes lil cracks,jokes at times and I just give him the one eyebrow raised look and he shuts right up.. (hahaha)

Angel

Knitgirl...

I know exactly how you feel. I'm in a similar situation. Good for you that you kept the carbs in check. I can't say that I would have been strong enough to do that. I have, however, tried to replace the bad foods that I want to eat with other activities (like cleaning... I think a lot of women do this, actually).

I know it can be a tough situation, but hang in there and take care of yourself. You are the most important person. Good luck.

Jennilu

Good job with keeping your eating in line despite the stress, that's a really hard thing to do. Now it sounds like it's time to deal with the problems your husband is causing. Those aren't your fault, it's something he needs to learn to work on.

>>And, as usual, he treated me like crap once he got home.

There are a lot of things that ranting and venting won't help one bit. Two suggestions; only you can decide if I'm reading too much into this.

1. Al-anon, or equivalent, for whatever it is that he's doing. And maybe regardless. I think limits and boundaries and tolerance of other people's behavior, or not, are massive issues for some of us and this is one good cheap place to learn more.

2. Read The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker, and see if you identify.

Thank you all so much for your supportive replies. It makes a big difference to know I'm not alone, and to know that I'm not the person who is responsible. I know that in my head, but my heart has other ideas.

Cleaning... now there's something I certainly relate to! You should see my kitchen floor-spotless. I haven't heard of the book you recommended Cs-Carver... sounds like it may be a good idea.

I wonder if he is threatened by my steps forward. I think you may be on to something there. I need to sit down and talk about it with him. He gave me the big apology again this morning (like usual) and for once I didn't cave in. There are definitely some issues that need to be worked out.

Again, I appreciate your kindness and caring.

When he does something just think.. well I need to get skinny so if or when I leave I can find that prince charming

You might look into marriage counsling as well, to help with the communication. If he won't go with you, then maybe if you go you can go alone and learn other ways to comfort yourself not involving food. Getting more control over that area of your life might give you the self confidence to get control of other areas as well.

My dh was a total jerk for a long, long time. He just assumed that I would always take it. Until one fine day, I just packed up the kids and left his butt. I got to a place inside of myself that loved me. We were separated for 3 months before I decided that we could give it another chance. But this time, I won't let it get out of control again. As soon as he says or does something that I feel is "wrong" I let him know right then, I don't stew about it, or clench my teeth and let it go.
He was also very threatened by my weight loss. Now, if he doesn't like it,,,he can hit the road. Life is too short for the crap, and I live by the saying "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!"