Thu, Feb-28-02, 09:14
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Registered Member
Posts: 48
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Plan: vegetarian, etc.
Stats: 190/158/129
BF:24%/22%/17%
Progress: 52%
Location: east coast, u.s.a.
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promise to myself
The day I posted the original message was pretty rough. I'm sad to say that I was up all night long, tossing and turning with a horrible stomachache until I finally rolled off my bed, ran down the hall into the bathroom and threw up. Everytime I see the "confession booth" message board, I can't help but envision that awful day and the horrible way I felt. It may sound strange, but that honestly keeps me straight in check.
I realize now that choosing to binge is more like choosing to binge, feel guilty, get bloated, toss and turn all night with a stomachache, and cry because of the awful feeling of being on the verge of throwing up all night. Thanks anyway, but I would rather not screw up the healthy new way of life that I have been working on for months, risk gaining back weight that's taken a couple weeks to lose in a matter of a couple hours, and have such anger, guilt, shame, and disgust with myself. It has taken me a long time to learn to love myself, and I'm not going to do something to sabotage that!
The promises that I have made before were simply about not binging, but even more than that, I'm making some realistic promises that prevent me from putting myself in a position to binge in the first place, (e.g, not keeping snacks around, not going to the candy machine, and drinking water if I start feeling cravings). I never break promises to friends, so why should I let me break a promise to myself? Thanks Razzle, Doreen, and Betsy, I appreciate all of your thoughts and comments!
Love and Laughter,
BabyGirl
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