My MIL has seen me, my FIL (obviously her husband), her SIL, and all the rest of us lose weight on Atkins.

FIL told me that she's still not convinced it works!
Supposedly she's "tried" it. What she would do is...instead of eating something real for lunch, she'd have one Hershey's Kiss, the one with an almond in it. She convinced herself that the almond in the Kiss cancelled out the carbs.
She actually told me that! My dh just shook his head; he'd heard it, too.

She told me tonight that with all the stress in her life, she just can't handle "losing weight".
I told her that my diet was the one thing in my life I could control.

She needs to lose the weight for health's sake. She almost had a heart attack a couple of months ago.

Any suggestions?

In my opinion, no one can make someone else want to change the way they are eating or lose weight. She's seen your example and the choice is hers. Hard as it is, I think you need to step back and accept that she is an adult and she will make her own decisions for reasons you may not understand.

However, I should add, her comments about stress make me wonder if she is depressed. If this is a possibility, perhaps her husband can encourage her to get help for that condition. Depression can make people give up on themselves.

This is a difficult one. You know that losing weight would be great for your MIL and for you low carbing has worked. Your MIL has seen this and as already said you can not make someone change their lifestyle if they are not committed to it.

Just be there for her. Lead by example, but don't harp on about it. If she comes for meals do nice low carb meals and make her realise that there is good food on the low carb lifestyle. If she is stressed, then this is not a good time to diet for anyone as commitment levels are low and stress prevents weight loss.

Let her come round to her own decision on this. I know that if I am backed into a corner I will choose the opposite from what is expected, even if I know it is wrong!

Perhaps I should have phrased the "any suggestions" differently.

I DON'T harp on her. I haven't mentioned low-carb to her AT ALL. She mentions it to ME.

I'm aware that she's an adult. She's free to make her own choices. My dh, my FIL, my SIL, even my 10 yr old BIL, all of us are worried. None of us say anything to her about it; we just lead by example.

I just need encouragement from people who have been in my situation, not to tell me to leave her alone.

Sorry. Off my soapbox now.

Hiya, I have been in a similar situation, I have a good friend who lives far away so I don't see her often. She is severely obese and is on medication for type II diabetes. I'm concerned about her health and I feel that low carbing would help her diabetes. Unfortunately, weight is a very sensitive issue for her, a political issue even, and I don't feel like I could suggest low carbing. There's no way I could without it sounding like I was telling her to lose weight.

What I have done is, I wrote in my online journal (which she reads) about how good I feel because of low carb, and how my own blood sugar symptoms have disappeared. I was hoping she'd ask me about it but she didn't. I feel really badly about not doing more because I feel like LC could help her and maybe even lengthen her life. BUT, like you said she's an adult and it's not my place to tell her what to do.

So I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, just my sympathy because I know how you feel.

Thanks, SarahO.

Hello,

I am in the same boat. My MIL (ok soon to be MIL, umm... I Hope) Anyway... She is always on a diet. If it is not slimfast it is low fat then the grapefruit diet and it is never ending. When I stared LCing I was scared to go to her home for dinner. I finally fessed up about the LCing and she sound really interested in it. When I told her she simply said "Nope... not for me" I said ok and nothing more has been said about it...BUT.. yes there is always a BUT... she always is making comment about what I am eating... everything always has too much fat. I simply say I don't worry about fat and she looks the other way...

I know I cant change her. Even though I think this is the best decision anyone can make... They have to make it. Maybe someday she will see this is a great thing... If not I will just have to put up with the comments about all the fat I am eating.
Sarah

That's always hard to do. My MIL mentions what I eat, but only to ask me how many carbs I have ate that day.

My co-worker is 100-150 pounds overweight. He told me today that he's going on a diet. I've mentioned to him about Atkins, and told him that if he'd like, he can borrow my book sometime. He said he'll check into this forum, too.

Hi spongebutt--

I don't know if you ever exchange recipes with your MIL, but you might find that the taste of some of the wonderful dishes in our recipe section might tempt her more than the eventual goal of weight-loss.

I hope so. I've shared with her a bunch of my recipes, and my low-carb cookbook. She'd still rather have candy.

menaz: Your weight loss is really impressive!!!

spongebutt: Does your MIL use a computer? Maybe the best way to encourage her...if she really does want to lose weight...is to have her come to the forum and read what LCing folks are doing, how they feel, what the challenges are and how they cope. Lots, also, on how to do it correctly. Just a thought.

Old habits are very hard to break. She is under alot of stress. She is on the verge of a heart attack. This all plays with the MIND. She may have thought that she was going to die anyway so she should have her cake and eat it too. Stress is scary it changes people.
My advice is to let her know that she is needed, loved appreciated and that all of you need her to be alive and well. Give her lots and lots of attention. Cards, flowers, phone calls out of the blue. Tell her that you care because with stress , you tend not to care about yourself. You don't have the time or energy--stress eats up everything.
angie

My mother is very ill because of her weight and stress and depression. I am terrified for her! She was warned a year ago that diabetes was around the corner if she wasnt careful and the last time I was over there I saw a script on the counter. She was been diagnosed with type II officially and hasnt done anything at all to change her habits. As a matter of fact, I think she thinks this diagnosis isnt serious?!?!

I tried to get healthy ideas into her subtely and finally just started telling her she needed to do something about her eating to tkae care of diabetes... LESS carbs. I said heck you do not need to do atkins with me just stop eating bread and pasta! its a huge part of what she eats at every meal.

I understand where you are coming from as well. I am sad and scared for her but there isnt anything else I can do. I guess now maybe you and I should only answer the questions they ask us and beyond that we take care of ourselves and pray for them to see the light sooner than later.

Wenzday--I'm sorry that it came to that with your mom. Diabetes is tough. Hopefully her doc will recommend something low-carb; she might listen to him/her.
When I become an OB/GYN, I plan on telling my patients about lc.
On your signature you state that you've never been this low, so losing weight will be hard. Not to discourage you, but yup. I'd never been below 150, even when I was 12. After you get below your body's 'set-point', though, it becomes easier. But your body may still fight you. Mine does sometimes.

angieK--That sounds like a good idea. Dh and I do try to call her as much as possible. But both of us work 6 days a week (no hyperbole). We see them as much as we can.

Thankfully, my SIL is going back on Atkins. She was on it once before-she did wonderfully! She went from a size 22 to an 18 in a month (she's still at an 18). She's 5'6" and large framed, so she only wants to go to a 10/12. She is a member here, but never comes around and never posts.
Maybe when my SIL goes back on it, having 2 lc'ers in the house (she and my FIL) will help encourage her.