I think I've spent many years with a distorted body image. When in a good mood, I could always see the skinny me when I looked in the mirror. I knew I was overweight, but was in denial of how much and I felt relatively good about myself on most days. Then I would see my reflection in a shop window or pictures would get developed and I'd see the me others likely saw. What a fat slob-no matter how well dressed! It was incredibly depressing and frustrating when I would be dismissed because of my size-not to mention the way weight aged me.

As I lose weight, I have more consistant happy moods, but still see mostly the same me in the mirror. I know the scale says I've dropped significant pounds, and I get postive praise from family and co-workers, but don't really feel any different. I have a digital camera and find myself frequently taking pictures to see if my body image is still out of wack. It seems my body is just catching up to my internal image of it-or I'm now seeing myself as fatter than I am. I highly doubt I'm an eating disorder candidate, and don't want to be boney, but I worry about my body image swinging the other way and start seeing myself as fatter than I really am.

As the "real me" emerges, like others have mentioned, I find myself resenting those who are suddenly paying more attention to me than they ever did before. My body looks better-but I don't think my personality has changed much other than feeling more confident. The next fifty pounds ought to be very interesting.

I know exactly what you are saying.......and can relate totally. I too have this self image of myself I cannot get rid of. I have lost alot of weight and People tell me how I dont look the same...that I look great. I look in the mirror and think I look exactly the way I used to look. I look at me naked and still get sick to my stomach at the site. Sounds bad I know but I just cannot help it. Im so trying to love me inside and out. I have since loosing weight have picked on me alot more than I used too. when I get compliments I have to say...I still have at least 30 more to go. Sometimes loosing the weight is causing people to feel like they need to say something positive to me.....which is great....but yet when I hear it ...I dont believe it......wierd huh!
I really hope over time....I will start to look at me...and think I look good..instead of thinking I wish this huge stomach would go away.

It seems no matter how many compliments I get I still see me at 258lbs...loosing the weight has made me deal with alot of self image issues I have to resolve to be totally happy with me.

One positive thing we can all learn to do for a more positive feeling about ourselves is to take a compliment graciously. When someone says "Hey, Janenne, you look great!" I just say "Why, thank-you!" and smile. They feel better about not getting their compliment shot down-and I feel better about being worthy enough to accept kind things said to me. It's amazing how such a simple practice can make you feel better.

I can relate as well. The first time I lost a significant amount of weight when I went from ~160 lbs. at 23 to 130 doing low fat ... I was shocked at how people reacted to me differently. All this new found attention. I was glad and really irritated at the same time because me, the person, had not changed a bit.

But ... since I lost weight gradually I never saw the transformation ... I always saw the old me or when I did catch a glimpse in a window and saw that I was trim I would just become scared to go back to the old me.

I liked the stares and attention I got ... it was like a drug almost. The comments about losing ... more drug.

I think after 10 years now ... I am really starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. During pregnancy I gained 70 lbs. I felt like a fat pig and was in a bad mood ALL THE TIME because I felt like my worst nightmare had come true ... being FAT.

Now I know that if I DO gain weight ... I can lose it so the fear is gone. I have tried to concentrate more on how I feel than how I look but of course being fit means looking good ... so as the saying goes "half a dozen one way ... six another"

I think that when we look in the mirror, we see who we think we are...the whole personality, not just the physical side. Like when you meet a person and they tell you your child looks just like so-and-so, but you never noticed because you see that child for who he is. Does that make sense? So I think it is hard sometimes for us to love the thinner version of ourselves, because we don't really love our inside selves. Conversely, we may not see a really fat person because we do like ourselves.

Just my thoughts. The mirror can be as "off" as the scale sometimes!

Hey Neener...

I can relate totally. I remeber when my day depended upon the type of attention I received, especially in college and even beyond that. I can remeber going out w/ my girlfriends, and depending on how much attention I got..which could be extremly a lot or practically nothing, I would let this be the judge of how I felt I looked. I know now looking back how totally ridiculous that sounds, but for me that was real life.

I couldn't tell you how many times I was so disgusted at me after I went out b/c no one ever looked my way or only looked my way to see who was beside me. I was not in control of me, everyone else was and sometimes I still catch myself going back to my old ways.

Even though I am half way there, a lot of mornings sometimes I wake up and think that I am just beginning. I struggle with this issue many times. So I can really relate to you and your image.

All I can do is take it day by day. I have come to the realization that for each day that I can wake up there is something special in that. And for each day that I can go to sleep and realize that I am doing something that benefits "me" and not "everyone else", I am a step closer to being me.

<<<<HUGS>>> for everyone!!! It is a constant battle, and I can't lie and say it is not, but my solace lies in knowing that for once in my LIFE, I want to be all about ME.

i call the phenominum 'the thinner I get the fatter I feel' syndrom. As I get closer to normal. . .the amount I am not normal becomes glaringly obvious. I am trying to stay positive. .. I've come along way and I am going all the way! redawn

Neener, the same thing happened to me -- before I started Atkins, I had no idea how large I had gotten. I looked basically OK in the mirror, and I avoided the harsh reality of photos like the plague. It took me months to see any difference. At one point, I guess because I was finally starting to see reality, I felt like I was fatter than I had been before I started. For a while there the image I saw in the mirror was so amorphous (? can't think of the right word) I simply had no idea what I looked like.

Body image does eventually catch up with reality. It took almost a year but I am finally able to look in the mirror and see a reasonably fit person. If you've already learned how to take a compliment, you're way ahead of me! I still struggle to say "thank you" instead of "that's nice of you to say." You're right, it makes people feel bad when you reject their compliment.

Kudos to all of you for helping us deal with these thoughts we have of ourselves. I am tall so I always think I can hide extra pounds really well. Then I saw myself in the mirror at Curves and REALLY SAW MYSELF! Where did that stomach come from, and those legs, and oh mygod, that double chin. That is what everyone else sees every day. How Gross!!!! i finally had enough and started a plan and I feel so inspired by this plan, yet so scared as to how to handle the compliments once they come. i am going to try to accept them as graciously as I can because, dammit, this is really hard work. Trying and trying over and over is not much fun, so when I succeed, I WILL MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE THE COMPLIMENTS AND NOT BE HARD ON MYSELF. THAT IS MY PROMISE. Good luck to all of you!

It remind me of puberty all over again!! When your body is changing, it takes awhile for your mind to catch up... Remember how touchy you were back when all THOSE changes were going on? It was like having to become another person, while inside, you were still "you". That's my theory, anyway!

My eyeopener was walking into this changing room and being completely surrounded by mirrors.. a situation I'd been able to avoid for years by just grabbing from the rack, and hoping for the best. Actually SEEING my own arse, thinking some really FAT broad must be following me! I was crushed for WEEKS!

My biggest adjustment is not being able to be the "big gal" who's just "one of the guys"...

I have had the same problem. I have lost a lot of weight but frankly I still see the same person in the mirror that I always have. I think that is why it feels so good when someone that hasn't seen you in a while notices the difference.

Two things really helped me to "see" the difference.

#1 Before and after pictures. There is no refuting the difference there. Even I have to admit I look thinner.

#2 I saw myself on video tape. I always dreaded being videotaped for the obvious reason. I was taped recently delivering a presentation and when I viewed it it was pretty eye opening.

It will take time adjusting to the "new" me but it is a good problem to have!

OG