My heart goes out to you Ladibug....dad's love us no matter what.. he would love you more because you are taking the time to love yourself.. and eat better...

Thanks Atriana for your account of our relationship with your mom during her last few hours....very moving...

I have had two major deaths in my life....

I lost my brother when I was 17, he was 22. Suicide. Really hard on my family. Complete SHOCK for me--- until one morning.. I was laying in my bed crying.. and I heard him whisper to me.. "ramona.. it's ok.. I am alright' I had such a beautiful sense of peace after that..

Then last year my dad passed on after years of lingering illness's. I had been reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.. and so it was much easier to handle knowing he was experiencing a very special part of his life... We were not that close.. but I do know we loved each other dearly... just had different ways of showing it.. I still go through bouts of missing him. SO.. I do what Bailey suggested.. and I TALK to him.. ONe thing we had in common is afterlife.. SO I know he is there... especially when I listen to our local classical music station.. and they play a waltz or a polka.. i know he is up there kickin' his heels up!!!

Again, my heart is with you...

Ramona