Originally Posted by potatofree

...and the Charmin was hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Immodium soon would be there.

When out by the privvy, there arose such a clatter, I sprang to the outhouse to see what's the matter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh full of sugarfree gear.

A lively old man, moving so quick, I knew in an instant what made him so sick...

With a groan and a scream from inside of the stall...
A merry Christmas to you from our friend, Lactitol.