I normally never ask for a little extra push but today I think I may fall off the wagon and need help.
I was with a man for 3 1/2 years and we split up in Oct. He moved to another city and I was relieved to never see him again. We met at work and when he got laid off things went horrible. I started to overeat when he would treat me poorly.
Well, today on my way to the cafeteria I ran into him. He has been rehired and I honestly think I am going to lose it! Not only is he working here again but in my group.
It has taken me 2 months to finally get it together and get over him. I started Atkins 2 weeks after we split.
I don't know how to cope right now and not just binge ..... how do you deal with the more emotional triggers ?

Hi there - wow that sounds rough



I don't really know - but you are SO close to your goal - could thinking of that help you stay strong? Look how far you've come are you going to let getting emotional over someone you don't even want in your life anymore mess you up??

Wish I could be more help - but just try to hang in

Think of how good you look now. Also think of how good it is to rub his nose in the fact you look dang good, you're surviving without him and all the better for it. Iknow it may seem petty, but running into an ex, esp one that treated you bad means you're allowed to be a little snitty

Just keep telling yourself he is no longer in your life and you aren't going to give him control over your life. Is he really important enough to sabatoge yourself over. Would he notice or care, and would you feel better or miserable?

Given your past history you may try to talk to a supervisor about the fact he's in your group. It sounds like there is enough emotions (not all good) left that it could interfer with your job performance. Instead of setting yourself up like that, take a proactive stance and see what you can do now. If you job climate is one that won't allow you to talk to a boss, then for a while at least you might just try pretending he's just another business associate and try to be as professional and cold at work as possible.

Wow, it would be hard to work with someone after you have broken up. I guess you’ll have to play the cool professional at work and be business only when you see him.

Remember how he treated you and just decide that you are over him and he isn’t going to take away the success you’ve had with your weight loss. If you need to relieve the stress, try to get in some extra exercise, take a walk, drink a glass of water. Maybe think about a transfer to another unit?

Hang in there, and good luck.

You can do this!
Remember that maintaining this woe gives you a sense of being in control of your life. I don't get the sense that you are missing him or wanting him back. Does seeing him make you angry? You aren't the person you were then, even if it wasn't that long ago. Maybe you let him treat you poorly then, but you're a new woman, and you wouldn't do that now. He might think he knows you, but he doesn't anymore. You may just have to suck it up at work, depending on the environment, but you can do this!

Jenn

I agree so much with what is being said. The more I sat here though the more I was on the verge of tears. I guess I am not as over him as I thought. We were on the verge of marriage and I felt cheated by the whole situation.
I am going to try the cold and "look at me now" approach and see how it works. I found that after I sat a stewed over it that I am more not hungry than I am hungry and think this may actually help lol.
Amazing how badly this has affected me, but I am going to stay strong and see how well I fare through this.
I really appreciate the support to. He is not worth me losing sight of my goal.

Just keep telling yourself that you are strong and you won't let him get to you. Take a deep breath everytime you feel it getting to you.

I know you can do it! Afterall you are SUPERMOMMY!!!

That's right! So you almost married this man who hurt you... I know it's hard to see it now, but you are fortunate you didn't tie the knot. I almost married someone once who treated me poorly too, and I understand now it isn't really possible to love someone who does that. In the end you can only resent them for it.

Sometimes when allow ourselves to be involved with people who do that to us, we help them out by treating ourselves poorly. And of course nothing improves for it. So take care of yourself, 'cause he sure won't, and don't abuse your body as a way of getting through or distracting yourself from any emotional pain. This too shall pass! and you will be strong and full of self respect!

Why should you do the suffering? Why should you let him do that to you? It's hard when you are hurt and angry, but just look at it this way: you dodged a bullet, the bus didn't hit you, you DIDN'T fall over the cliff that marriage to him would have turned out to be.
You can be HAPPY this broke up.
You can be ECSTATIC that you found out about him in time.
You can be THRILLED that you have the power to not let him control you.
It's over. Let it be over.
LadyBelle has it right...Stay on track. Let him eat his heart out!!!

Supermommy, I really feel for you. I think everyone who's written has given you great advice. I'm in your shoes, too, although in a lesser way (a so-called friend, not a romance). Anyway, I came across a very helpful bit of counsel in a book. It suggests you say to yourself, "Just exactly how long am I going to let this past event ruin my present life?????" Of course that won't make the healing happen instantaneously, but it can help you think positively. At least I hope so.