Interesting humor, or is it?
Hi All!
This was in our local Sunday paper yesterday.
Interesting humor, or is it?
Best Wishes,
T.
COMMENTARY
Bringing home the bacon for Atkins' sake
By JIM SHEA
10/12/2003
Me and Marlon Brando.
As far as I can determine, are we the only two people in this country not on the Atkins diet?
You can't go anywhere, do anything, have a conversation on any subject these days, that doesn't quickly circle around to Atkins:
"Geez, I'm sorry you lost your job, but there is an upside."
"Which is?"
"Now you won't have any money to buy carbohydrates."
One of the reasons Atkins is so popular is that it doesn't make you count calories, or cut back on stuff like, you know, food.
Another thing that makes it appealing is that you lose weight incredibly fast.
I sat across from a woman at a cookout this summer and saw her go from a size 16 to a size 10 before she was even done eating her medium-rare side of beef.
Besides the weird kind of gleam in the eye that true believers often possess, the other way you can tell an Atkins-ite right off is by scent:
They all tend to smell like bacon.
Here is a fairly typical Atkins' menu:
Breakfast:
Bacon slices.
Bacon & egg omelet.
Bacon Danish.
Lunch:
Bacon slices.
Bacon double cheeseburger.
Salad with bacon dressing.
Bacon health shake.
Dinner:
Bacon slices.
T-bone steak with bacon.
Bacon bits in Jell-O.
Slice of bacon pie.
There was a time, of course, when such a diet might have been considered unhealthy. The main concern, without getting too technical, being that a diet high in fat turned your blood into sludge and made your heart stop.
Now, however, fat is good, and good for you. The more fat you eat, the thinner and healthier you become.
Conversely, carbohydrates, the always comforting warm-and-fuzzy carbs, are the enemy.
In fact, the demonization of the once-beloved carbo is now so widespread that there are actually brands of beer that bill themselves as being low in carbohydrates.
Low-carb beer in my estimation represents the darkest side of the "Atkins Revolution." What possible purpose does such a brew serve other than to flatten every beer gut in the country?
Atkins, I say, have you no decency, sir?
Finally, allow me to address the biggest drawback to Atkins, aside from the death thing: the absence of a margin of error.
If you relapse at all - say in a moment of weakness eat a cookie or even drive by a Krispy Kreme when the light is on - within 20 minutes you will blow up bigger than the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in the movie "Ghostbusters."
And then who ya gonna call?
Jim Shea is a columnist at the Hartford Courant
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