Back in the extra large saddle again?
Greetings Everyone - - - - Shannon here!
I'm 17 and have been on countless diets. I discovered the low-carb WOL back in 2000, and gave it a try using Protein Power. Within a short amount of time, I had lost 20 pounds and felt great! For some reason (no reason is an excuse anyway) I gave it up.
Ever since my brief success, I have been trying to get back in the swing of the LC lifestyle. I fail everytime. I've tried PP, Atkins, Carb Addicts, and even a couple of my own invention. I don't know why I can't stick with it. When the cravings hit, I can resist for awhile, but then I think, "it doesn't matter at this point anyway", or "I'm going to eat whatever I want this week so I won't miss it when I start again on monday". I know that saying this to myself won't help, but I still do it!!!
I've been heavy for a while, but this is the heaviest Ive ever been (230 lbs at 5'3''). When I hit 210, I panicked and started a diet. I weigh around 230 now, and for some reason, Im not as shocked as I was for 210. I just feel sad, like no matter what I say, I can't change (and let me tell you, working in a bakery isn't helping my situation...helllOOOO chocolate chip cookies).
BUT I WANT TO CHANGE! I come into this forum and see how many people have changed their lives for the better. I want to be one of those people, but I feel like I don't know how to start, even though I've read the books.
All of my clothes with buttons and zippers are soooo not happening on me. If I need to wear my khaki skirt for work, I leave it unzipped/buttoned, roll it down, and wear a long shirt with an apron. Everytime people talk quietly, I assume they are talking about me.
I have stretch marks as my battle scars, but I've lost all of the fights so far.
I pray for the strength to help me make it through highschool as a fatgirl. I guess I just want reassurance that there are people like me who have been through it. Of course, I know that this forum is full of people with weight issues, but I feel alone.
Wow, I would be depressed reading this...I don't mean to bring anybody else down. Just trying to sort through the junk and get back in the saddle again...Thanks for Listening.
Shannon
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