In a way I know I will be okay eventually if I can stick to the diet and not get so depressed that I balloon like I had once before. But I do feel more comfortable talking with people who cant judge me face to face or make me feel uncomfortable - this has helped and I promise to continue to write anytime I need help, you guys are the best.

Starz, jeepers you are such a pretty woman, in both your "before" and "in progress" pics. And you write so well, too.

You also have some good and interesting hobbies.

So, from where I sit, I don't see what there is to be depressed about.

Relationships? Men are easy. Another will come along.

Suicide? That's an interesting topic. "Permanent solution to a temporary problem" is my favorite expression about it. You might not be depressed much by time you are 30. You will have learned to love yourself more, and may be more comfortable with life in general. And as you look back you will have a different perspective than you do now.

Whether you seek professional help or not is up to you. You are obviously very intelligent and will probably find your best path.