Koko, Slim,

I don't pretend to speak for everyone in my size range, but here's my take.

First, I don't think it's "easy." I've lost 20 lbs this year, and not one of them was "easy," and I don't know why I should think yours are, either. If anything, you're likely to have a slower, more frustrating time than I'm having because you have so much less to lose -- or at least that's what I've heard. Truth is, you're right -- this isn't a contest.

Now, about "overreacting." This one's harder. There have been threads where people have suggested that people re-think their desire to achieve a weight that was lower than the "normal" range for their size. I haven't participated in those, and I'll assume this doesn't apply to either of you. To be honest, I don't tend to know those "normal" ranges off-hand because they simply don't apply to me, and I generally assume that if people want to lose weight, they probably have a reason for it.

I have, on occasion, posted a "you look great to me," or something similar when someone who did look great to me was lamenting about how awful the picture they just posted looked. I certainly didn't intend it as some kind of a back-handed slap, or as a way of negating their efforts. It was simply:
A) an honest comment, and
B) a gesture of support to someone who had done something couragous and was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

So my first suggestion is that when someone tells you that you look great, or even that you don't need to lose weight, it might be intended as an honest and supportive statement and not as an attempt to somehow undermine your efforts. It may be irritating, but it's not necessarily jealousy, or sabotage, or even insecurity.

As for people like me feeling discouraged when they read posts from people who have relatively little to lose -- and again, I can only speak for myself -- the discouragement doesn't come because you have so little to lose. Like I said at the top of my post, I know it's hard and I'm far from belittling your effort.

What can be terribly disspiriting to someone like me (and I'm probably about to make you say, "see, I told you!) is to hear someone who is smaller than I will or can ever be talking about how disgusting and ugly they look! And even now, I'm not saying that they don't have a right to their body image. I used to do the same thing back in the days when (I now know) I was normal sized, and I meant it. I really do understand that what a small (to my eyes, at least) person sees in the mirror can distress them as much as what I see distresses me. But when I hear that (or see it, for the purposes of this discussion) I can't help thinking that this person, if they saw me, would probably -- well, you get the picture.

I also know, of course, that when people make those comments they're expressing their own feelings and not making any sort of comment about me, and I'm in no way suggesting that they shouldn't make them. We're all here for the same reason, and we all need to say what we have to say. I'm just trying to explain how someone could find some of the discussions discouraging.

Oh, and one more thing: You'd be surprised. I think most people tend to dream within their realm of possibilty. I've never seen you, but I assure you that your body might well look like something that's beyond what someone else dreams is possible for them. I don't say this to make you feel badly, or to negate your own goals and desires -- I hope you meet them, and I'll do a happy dance for you when you do. It's just another thought -- if someone tells you they wished they looked like you, they just might be telling the truth.

--Ruth
(Who hopes this didn't offend anyone.)