I recently had a surgeon at work say to me that bariatric patients have a lot of emotional pathology. I'm fat, I pointed out, although I thought it was rather obvious. "The bigger you are, the more pathology" Huh? Maybe its the way you treat those patients. I had really respected her before this.

I finding that the popular theory rolling around bariatric centers now is that super obese (100 lbs overweight or more) have been emotionally, sexually, or phsically abused as children or adults, and need counseling as well as diet. Doesn't count if you already had counselling, you need emotional eating counseling. There may be truth in that, however I'm thinking its a wallet-ectomy they are interested in. I know there are bariatric docs who really care about helping people, but I'm beginning to get depressed if surgeons who work alongside bariatric surgeons think that all fat people are "a little crazy". Maybe its because you treat us like we are crazy. Maybe its because you immediately assume its because we are fat (and crazy) that we are a little anxious when you come into the room. I also know for a fact that fat people are emotionally abused by many people because they are fat. The fat actually came first. So yes, counseling can help, but don't assume the abuse. I know I was abused as a child, and recieved counseling, and was thin before the counseling, and kept the weight off for 14 years.

So hmmm, what do you think? Are we fat because of emotional issues or do we have emotional issues because we are fat, or is it something else?

Good question, Rapiddash. I've done the whole Overeaters Annonymous thing and while it did help, it never actually solved my problem. I do eat for emotional reasons, that I'm well aware of. I was molested as a child, and had a very unsatisfactory relationship with my Homecoming Queen mother who never stopped reigning. She felt she deserved better then an Ugly Duckling Daughter... or a Cow, as she used to call me.
So yeah, for me, childhood things did cause me to turn to food and its taken me a lifetime of reading, talking, attending meetings, etc, to get to where I even recognized my emotional relationship with food as a problem. The thing that helps me the most is a low carb diet because it lessens my cravings and helps with my gastrointestinal problems. But to go into a doctors office and have my problems be dismissed because I'm overweight, I resent that, and it happens more times then not.

I would wager that if a poll was taken of us "super obese (100 lbs overweight or more)," that an overwhelming number of us would have experienced some sort of dysfunctional period during our childhood.

For myself, I was the son of alcoholic parents.

I have no doubt that such experiences played a role in my obesity. To what degree, I have no idea. Recognizing and taking into account such dysfunctional problems from our childhood can do nothing but help in our healing.

Likewise, thinking that such childhood drama is the SOLE reason for our obesity, and throwing up our hands and saying, "Its because of what was done to me and I might as well accept that I can't do anything to change" is ludicrous!

Just my two-cents.

I have been doing alot of self reflection because I am writing a book about my journey. Part of that was writing my "story" and pulling out memories that stand out in my mind. It is amazing when you analyse your past how everything begins to make sense. I can remember the exact instance where I equated food with love and comfort. I can remember learning to reward myself with food. I remember the moment where I stopped being athletic for fear of humiliation. But it was not until I started being really honest with myself and writing my story that I saw those experiences for what they were.
That being said I feel that the past is the past. Once you know how you got here, there is no need to replay it over and over again. We have to look towards the future and what we want for ourselves. This is my issue with alot of counselling. It focusses alot on the why and how of the past instead of on the why and how of the future.

It seems that my overeating started out as a control issues. My mom said no and I was going to get my way if I had to buy it myself and eat in my closet (which I did many, many times). As I gained weight, I used the food to soothe my disappointments. Even now, I want to use food to comfort me...on good and bad days.

I think we all need to learn coping skills. That's what I learned in therapy. It's okay to feel the feelings and the feelings are just feelings - they have no power over me.

As for bariatric surgeons, I was actually turned down because the psychology reports came back that I wasn't a good fit. They told me to wait a year and come back...well, that was 3 years ago and I'm so glad I didn't have surgery and have committed myself (again & again) to LC. My dad's doctor had him change some of his answers on the psych test, so my dad could be cleared for surgery. He had the surgery in 2007 and he's gained all the weight back. Looking back on it, I'm glad my surgery was denied and I wish my dad's was too. My dad's on LC now...so that's a good thing.

Food was my drug of choice for many years. I have an extremely dysfunctional family. Many people grow up in dysfunctional families and have learned various coping mechanisms, some positive, some negative. Mine were mostly negative: recreational drugs, spending too much money, repeated bad relationships, and then finally, food.

I wonder if it's more reflective of the kind of people who seek out bariatric care? For me, I say no to this (I was pudgy already as a very young child at 4). I have learned through this board that there really are "closet eaters" (I always thought this was a bizarre urban legend). And I've seen the toll of emotional eating on people, although I wonder about the opiate properties of food and whether or not it's more of a chemical addiction. Alcoholism and sugar/grains addiction seem to go together in families. Which came first?

If you're saying that if we compare a large group of people who have never had weight issues to a group that has been "morbidly obese," and that their experiences regarding a dysfunctional childhood would be about the same............then I'll take that bet!

I'm thinking what you're thinking!

I really think it is more addiction related and I am insulted that a group of surgeons, who I thought respected me, would just assume I'm a victim of my "issues" and have "emotional pathology" making me crazy. If you can't respect me as a charge nurse on a busy unit, stay out! (Only in my dreams, I would never have the balls to say that to a surgeon) (Not that I have balls)

I would have to look at who participated in the study.

Yeah, I like this one. I'm fat - but I don't think I have emotional problems worse than anyone else's. I think I'm *much* more stable emotionally than either of my two slender sisters - who always seem to fly off the wall at the least provocation. I was never abused as a child. I did have a really difficult relationship with my mom - but actually a better relationship than either of my two slender sisters had with her. And all three of us agree that my dad was just about a saint on earth and we all adored him - though he had his moments too. His humor was always a bit on the biting and sarcastic side, though I often think he never realized that sometimes it upset people.

But in general I'd say I probably had a better childhood than 90% of the people on the planet. My two slender sisters both moan about their "unhappy childhood" but we lived in a very nice home, a house full of books with parents who read to us every night when we were little, took us on lovely vacations every year, gave us nice birthday parties and full Christmases, took us on day trips and to museums and things. I want to bang my sisters' heads again the wall sometime and say "sheesh, get over it".

My son claims I am the only stable and level-headed one of the three sisters and more than once has told me he's so glad that *I* am his mom rather than either of my two slender and beautiful sisters. I don't see that being fat means you must have any serious emotional problems at all - either before or after the fact of fatness.

Yeah, I sometimes get *frustrated* about my slow weight loss, and an occasional brief "why me?" wallow, but that's a far cry, IMHO, for having major emotional issues.

Yeah, exactly the same thing that happened with my dad in his late 50s, when diagnosed as T2. Doctor also put him on glucophage and didn't suggest he do anything else. My dad (like my mom) was a super-carboholic, and so continued, to the end of his days, to eat a diet consisting of Dunkin Donuts, Entenmann's coffee cakes, pizza, pie from the supermarket, cookies from the supermarket, fast-food burgers with buns, etc. However he lived another 25 years after his diagnosis and never really developed any complications from diabetes at all. Unless depression could be considered a complication. The last few years of his life he was depressed a lot, but totally refused to acknowledge it. These days, in light of my newer knowledge, I tend to think that was more related to his his thyroid issues not being properly controlled.

Small correction here, super obese is not 100# overweight. A BMI of 40 is morbidly obese, a BMI of 50 is super obese. Usually 150-200# overweight is SO.