For the past couple of weeks if I make a comment about some cookies, beer, etc. ( my weeknesses). My wife will say you deserve to reward yourself for being so good on your diet for the past 3 months. I had always said no until yesterday. There came a point when I just had to give myself a reward. So I bought another dirtbike. I don't think that the bike was quite what my wife had in mind, but what can she do it's already in the garage.

It beats the hell out of a donut!

Good for YOU!!!

I guess your wife better be more specific whe she says what kind of reward you can have!!! Yes...you will have a much better time with the dirt bike than a donut. A donut is gone is a minute but the dirt bike will provide rewards of fun for a long time to come!!!

DH is rewarding me in April with a trip to the NASCAR race in Martinsville, VA. Gotta love that!

Food is not a reward, maybe it could rise to the level of a treat! I buy myself fine jewellry and luxurious(smaller)clothes! Good for you, a reward that keeps on giving!!!(but of course, wear the helmet and be sensible!)

That is like saying i'm rewarding my sobriety with a shot of whiskey or my being off drugs for a week and doing drugs as a reward.

I guess the whole issue is that what is her personal priority here.

If it is only and completely losing weight (for the short term) then maybe she is right for herself but if the priorty is changing lifelong negative habits and WOL and looking different forever then rewarding in healthy ways is the best.

FYI - I am SO ON YOUR SIDE HERE....

Good for you dsights! That's too funny! IKonzelman made an excellent point. I've never really thought about it like that, but it's absolutely true. Keep us up to date on your progress!

Perhaps your wife just needs a bit of re-assurance that as her hubby gets more "hunky" to other women that she still has top priority. Sounds like a bit of insecurity to me or if she is trying to loose wt too maybe she is wanting someone to "eat" with her. The ole need an enable-er syndrome. Either way, definite ly approve of not rewarding with a food item- besides you will have the energy now to push it home when you run out of gas-just kidding!!!!
Jan

I think that the biggest reason that she wasn't too happy with me is because I already have one. Needless to say the old one is now up for sale.

As far as wanting someone else to enjoy food with.... I think that's a big part of it. She has tried (and I tried to help) to diet but just hasn't had the will power yet. She is slowly talking to me again. Atleast that's a good sign.

LOL! Glad to hear you're on speaking terms, again. Perhaps the two of you should sit down and decide what the next reward will be - before she finds a motorcycle in the garage and the latest dirtbike up for sale!

I agree...I don't like the idea of food rewards...

The only problem with what I see that you did...is if my husband bought one (For himself)... He would have to get me one too !

Still I hope you work things out with your wife...

Best Wishes
Julie

If lonzelman was referring to my reply post I am very confused...buying something nice for myself after accomplishing a goal seems to me to be a good method of reward as opposed to eating some food which is not on the plan. Many of us who are fat have gained weight in part at least because food has been an inappropriate reward. My comment about it being a treat was intended to refer to the less important place food should take in many peoples' lives. A treat is a little thing; a reward is a bigger deal. While in a perfect world this WOE is reward enough, while I am on my way to my goal concrete rewards help me stay on track and they celebrate my success in an area I have never succeeded at.

Also the comments comparing food rewards to drug addiction is way off the mark- I was a substance abuse counselor for 7 years. Addicts go thru painful withdrawal which is physical and emotional. Even for food "addicts" the process is not as severe. I admit this is a hot button issue for me - someone who falls of the wagon and eats some bread is unlikely to spend the next 3 months eating all the bread they can afford, stealing to get more bread etc. Terms from the treatment of addicts get applied to far too many things in life( thats right I don 't believe anyone is a shopping addict).

As easy as this WOE is in many ways, rewards have their place. For some these might be food, for others new clothes, a concert; at least this is my opinion.

When I reread the original set of posts I see that she was referring to the wife saying food could be a reward for doing well on this WOE. Sorry I jumped the gun..however I still think the comparison to addiction is a bad one.

Maybe true for you; not true for everyone, and certainly not true for me.

Bread is actually a pretty good example. When I start eating bread (regular wheat or white bread, not the soy low-carb bread) I eat at least one loaf at a time. I toast it, and put butter on it, and eat it. About half way through the loaf I sart thinking, "Hmmmm, this would taste better with something sweet on it," and I start sprinkling a little sugar on the toast. Yes, flour/bread is a gateway drug for me... leads right to sugar. After a few slices with nicely sprinkled sugar and maybe cinamon, I start putting a think layer of sugar on, and running the toast back under the broiler to crystallize it. Now I have toast encased (on one side anyway) in a thick, sugar crystal topping. I will continue this way until all the bread in the house is gone. Old stale hamburger buns, frozen biscuits, bread wih a little mold on it, I will eat every single piece. I don't steal money to get more bread, but I'm certainly not above eating the last of the bread that others in my house need for lunches the next day. I've been known to make midnight runs to the store for more bread. And get cookies, too, while I'm there. I even eat(steal) all the bread at other people's houses when I am visiting.

When I started atkins, I went through a physical withdrawal process from sugar. And yes, I know what drug and alcohol withdrawal feels like. When I gave up sugar and flour, I had headaches, nausea, tremors, sweats, and felt like my skin was crawling right off my body. It lasted for several days. I actually had to taper off a bit by having a teaspoon of honey in hot tea for the first 3 or 4 nights. So, while I respect your experience and your credentials, I don't agree with your statement. A nice piece of bread, or a soft roll, or a biscuit, or even plain crackers, would not be a good reward for me. It would be the beginning of the addiction cycle all over again.

Ann at Howcross Castle

I totally agree with and identify with Ann. Food is a sort of drug for me too. Instead of getting drunk or high, I'd stuff myself high carb junk foods until I was on a carb-high. Then when my blood sugar would drop off, I'd do it all over again, a vicious cycle. My boyfriend used to bring home those little debbies by the boxes, and it would be gone within a couple of days because I couldn't control myself. If it was there, it didn't matter that I was full already, I'd eat them all until I was sick. I'd kick myself in the head and promise that I'll ration them out the next time, but everytime there was something in the house like bread, pasta, rice, sweets, I'd eat and eat and eat until I felt totally out of control. I used to eat twice as much as my boyfriend who is 6'2" and 185. I totally agree with what Lisa said because if I allow myself to think that a donut or a piece of sugar laden cake as a reward for losing weight and becoming healthier, then they'll continue to hold power over me. I think most of us are in this to take back control of our weight and our health. I'd much rather buy a beautiful outfit in a smaller size, a piece of jewelry, or take a nice vacation than to reward myself with what I know to be poison.

Sorry if my comments weren't clear.

Your reward healthy and longterm taking care of yourself in a positive way.

Wifes reward is short term dieters reward and not looking at the issues that got her (us) here.

Hope that clears up my perspective.

FYI- I am like a heroin addict with chocolate so that is why I used the analogy. It reflects how I see food.