Don't despair. It gets better. Try to remember that you are a person too and can't wait to live life until you are thin. That's what I had to tell myself years ago and still tell myself today.
I also look in the mirror full length, naked and find something about my body to like and admire. I like my face and my butt and my waist and my arms. It takes patience but you need to keep at it.

I have gone on vacations, climbed a waterfall, gone snorkeling, got facials and body massages and been in pools and hot tubs all at 300+ pounds. You can't put your life on hold until you lose weight. Each day is Gods gift, enjoy it whatever your size.

Regards the depression. Do you get more depressed in the winter? I have SADs (seasonal affective disorder) and I know in the winter or even after too many cloudy days (3), I go into a deep depression that has no cause. It's only knowing that I have SADs that helps me cope and controll in instead of becoming blindsided with it.

I know how you feel. One of my best friends told me I should go jogging after I hadn't seen him in months! He was like "are you sad that you're past your prime?" He refers to the time when I was anorexic as my "prime". What a dick! As if all I had going for me was my looks. People can be very shallow but there are also those who will support and love you no matter what. Hang in there and love yourself everyday no matter what.

Oh my, I'm kind of the other way around. I've never had problems with depression though, so I can't related in that arena.

Though I don't like being overweight, I don't hate it. In a way it's comforting and secure. I was always slim till after my 3rd kid when I gained weight and went up to 165 lbs. A few years later my husband died and I got down to 120.

Along with that 120 came tons and tons of male attention, something I wasn't used to. I didn't know if someone liked me because I was a hot chicky or cause of me.

That was answered soon enough when I started to gain weight and went back up to 155.

A while after that I did Weight Watchers and lost down to 130 lbs. Ah, the men came out of the wood work again. I was a babe at my class reunion, even heard some guys talking about my bod.

So of course I gained again...right back up to 155.

Now I'm starting Atkins and just wish I'd meet someone before I got slim. I don't hate my body fat...it's lush and voluptuous. I have breasts and curves (and too much belly ). I'll wear shorts or a bikini swimming. I feel like my body is going to waste (no relationship means no sex).

So part of me is scared to be slim again, cause I know what happens. I know it's my problem, and not other people's...but I'm beginning to think I sabotage myself.

I used to think that people should accept me for what I am not the way I looked... Even myhsband was telling me to lose weight and I used to constantly bicker with him saying dosn't the person inside matter or are you concerned only about the packaging...
Sadly I found out that he had been diverting his attention to another female and that was my wake up call. I lost weight through shock... I had been with this guy since I was 16 - so that Is 15 years we have been togther... I got ill... thru shock.... Now I am slowly getting better but my priority is weight management and I have now realised that the packing is very important to maintain a healthy relationship....

That is what I had to share with you.... so I hated my body when all this happend I was blaming everything and everyone else for my fatness... never myself.... now I have taken action I am happy. My husband is so loving, caring, supportive and attentive now... I did tell him if he was not happy to leave but when he realised that I was serious about weight loss he was serious too... So I hope this will have an ULTIMATE happy ending...

You just have no idea how I can relate to you. I hate going anywhere. I used to be able to hide under my black lane bryant clothes. Now I've reached a point where I can't. It is awful. I don't even like to pump gas at the gas station. It is terrible feeling this way. It is not the way I am. I just started Atkins it's difficult, but I just know that carbs are my problem. I really hope this works. I can't wait to be able to go out again and not want to hide myself under a sheet.

I know you're supposed to look to what's inside yourself and feel proud and happy with you vs. your body, but what do other people/strangers see?? The outside!! One thing that I find about myself is that when I'm on the phone (I'm in a hospital call centre), I'm very confident, friendly, funny and can be flirty, but when I'm face-to-face, I'm not any of those things. I just want to hide, crawl under the covers. I have many wonderful aspects of my life that seem to be constantly overshadowed by my body image.

Also, I agree with Annette when she states that when she loses weight she attracts uncomfortable attention. I believe that the root of my weight problem is that I was abused when I was a child and also that my father treated my mother and me and my sisters like we were inferior and that all women were only good for 2 things--house work and ***. So, maybe deep inside I feel that if I'm overweight people/men will have to pay attention and like ME--not my body--if I am overweight. It's a buffer/protection for me. It's terrifies me to think of not having it, but I'm going to do my best and, through LCing, have to "expose" myself. I hope this makes sense???

I can absolutely understand what you mean about protecting yourself. I often wondered about that myself. Although, there is one thing I do know. I'm cheating myself BIG TIME by letting my weight be out of control. Just like you said about the phone...your personality shines through.... then you get out in public and you get back into your shell. We all are cheating ourselves and all the people close to us feeling this way. We will do it. It is just a matter of feeling better not a matter of being a beauty queen. I used to be a model when I was 16 for macy's...I had a great time. I never in my life thought I would be overweight. It just happened...and in some ways ...I'm glad it did. I see things completely differently. I think it made me a better person on the inside. Now, I just want my inside to match with my outside. I feel I don't get the respect I deserve because people can tell on the outside that I don't respect myself. I'm ready to change.

HEAR, HEAR!!!

Tash honey,
one of the most important lessons that I have learned is that Happiness is an inside job. Along with that, I have become much more adept at not taking ANYTHING personally.

What other people think, or say about me, is not my business. And when they do say hurtful things, I know that they are speaking volumes about themselves, not about me.

You are very brave. In fact we all are, here we are looking in a positive place, for positive support. We are the winners.

Jane

Rae,
I am 18 and I started out at 212.5. I hated myself. I've only lose 6.5 pounds, but I'm started to slowly look better. I just need some support every now and again, you know.....to keep me on track. I get discouraged so easily, so I was hoping this forum would help me get all this weight off!

Hey everyone,
I guess I should tell you about me. I'm 18, 206 lbs., and not very happy with myself. I have dealt with depression and weight for all of my life. I've always been the "fat kid" in class that didn't have friends of that fact. I was so tired of everything. Then in 2000 (I was 16) my father committed suicide. My father was my world. He was everything to me. So after he died, the weight came swiftly and didn't have any plans to leave. I tried weight watchers, but it didn't really work. I did lose weight, but no inches. I was still wearing 18's and 20's. I felt so self-conscious whenever I went into clothing stores and I could never find anything that fit me right. Everything was either too small around the waist, or too long on my legs (I'm only 5'4) and I was just in horrible shape. I started on atkins last week with my mom and so far has been wonderful. I've lost 6.5 lbs so far and feel better about myself. Hopefully by the end of this, I will be average weight and the healthiest I've ever been!
Sara

I can relate to what you are saying completely, it looks like we are in the same age group somewhat. I will be 25 this year and have spent that time bouncing between 220 and 232. Even at this weight I feel beautiful. I dont want to be loved for my body.
I spent most of my teenage years feeling just this way. It was hard having a lot of confidence or self worth when you were labeled as "the fat girl"...and many people dont see beyond that. There was teasing and rejection too. After high school I gradually became more confident in my self and realizing that at the end of the day the only person I need to answer to is myself and that if someone doesnt like me or approve of me and wants to hurt me , then I am much better off alone or finding people that are beyond that shallowness. Everyone has their "evil" ours happens to be weight, frankly looking at your picture you look like a beautiful girl. Have some confidence (even if you have to fake it at first, I know I did) and see the change. As much as we hate to be overweight, there is so much more to who you are than your pants size.

Hey sugar...I am amazed at your progress... I am feeling rather down today... Fat is everywhere..never thought I would have flabby fat arms...flabby huge waist line...flabby fat thighs... It is really difficult and I am extremely reclusive...and deeply depressed... Yesterday was a friend's birthday and I had a slice of cheesecake, but had a turkey rollup behind it so I didn't get any jitters.... First time off plan since I started...back on today though... It's difficult because somehow I thought that I was down a size but I'm not.... I'm only 5'3 so 198 pounds is a whole lot of weight and I just feel sick about it... I try to keep my mind occupied with other things but it is difficult not to look in the mirror and wonder who the heck is staring back and you...

I think I can do this....I'm going to try to take out some of the unnecessary fat that I've been eating and only eat good fats... Hopefully that will help speed up the weight loss... It's hell being overweight and invisible...particularly when at one time you were rather cute lol... It's difficult to see the shock in people's eyes when they do see me, if they haven't seen me for a while... I rarely go out at all except when I think nooone's in the stores... It has taken it's toll on my 7 year old, she has become very cynical with me and wonders constantly why I don't participate in things...

Anyway, thanks all for the motivation....hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow...

i can't believe this, you are exactly like me, i look in the mirror and want to cry, i try several differnt poses hoping one of the will make me look good, i try to cover my stomach (the main problem area) with baggy cloths however summer is comming and i'm scared to death!
i also hate going out in public and when i do i feel like everyone is looking at me, it get so anxious i just want to go home and hide. i feel so releaved that i'm not the only one with this problem.

Hi,
Im new to this forum and this is my first time replying. I have read these posts and just wanted to try to encourage someone. I can really relate to what everyone here is going through. My highest weight ever was 180 lbs. I am only 4' 11" so that was a rather large size for my height. I lost down to 125 and then got into depression and gained back up to 140, I am now back down to 120 with low carb and exercise. So dont ever give up hope, you can do it! I have been off antidepressants for about 3 yrs now and am getting my eating under control, I was a mess there for awhile. I dont know, maybe Im just rambling, cant express myself very well. but hope it is encouragement to someone.