I have tried the low-carb woe 3 times now. Each time with success. So why after success do i go off plan and gain weight ? I know this will work for me. Right i am so down on myself it is affecting everything i do from work to home life. My wife is very supportive of me but i want to lose for myself. I have had bouts of depression in the past but this feels different. I work in the health field and am so tired of listening to everybody elses problems, i feel like screaming at them "what about me". Thanks for the space to vent Paul.

For me, I beleive I went off Atkins the first time because I was scared. I was "Comfy" being a fat person and somewhat invisible - most people don't look or expect much out of a fat person - so I had mostly lower expectiations of me. May have very well been only my viewpoint, but it still affected me.

This time, I was very uncomforatble once people started noticing and commenting - being the center of attention is definately not what I was used to. If I hadn't realize that I was feeling out of place, and going off diet would not help me in the long run - I gritted me teeth and took the compliments and the looks. Now I don't mind - I like it!

Bottom line, look to see if you have your own issues about being at a lighter weight.

You have every reason and right and indeed obligation to ask "what about me?" Everything in your life should be geared toward making you the best, most joyous Paul you can be.

Have you hunted for a therapist? I found a terrific one last year and wish you equivalent luck in finding one that fits you. I also got a lot out of reading "Codependent no More" and some related books. As an educator, like most people in "helping" fields, I've been wayyyyyyy too involved, in unhealthy (for me) and ultimately unhelpful (for them) ways. I'm learning to separate my stuff from their stuff, which ends up being more respectful for all of us.

Does all this help the weight issue? Yup. In my case, it helps me understand my dress size is utterly unimportant to who I am, and that the "trick" (though it's not much of a trick!) is to believe I deserve. If I deserve to be treated well, then I deserve to treat myself well with appropriate exercise, healthy foods, lots of water, enough rest, and saying "no" and "that's enough" a lot more.

HTH! Hang in there.

I know when I first did Atkins I lost 60lbs and I was still unhappy. I kept seeing all that I still had to lose and it made me stop low carbing. I started seeing a theropist and oh he worked out great! I had to learn to hold onto happy and positive experiences so I could use them when things go wrong. I had to learn to make time for myself in something that I truely liked to do. For me its painting or quilting. I have to admit, I'm usually too busy to do this every day, but for now I'm shooting for twice a week.
I'm a single mom so I feel "What about me" alot for I'm always helping someone else not myself. Its either my children, or work.
It can drive you crazy. Low carbing had taken the edge off the stress and anxiety but counsilling has helped the most.
I wish you the best, Paul.

Thanks for the replys i am going to start with family Doc. in 2 weeks. From there i will move on i hope. Paul

Had a long with Doc yesterday who is also a friend. Decided i would give wellbutrin a try and when i start feeling better we will go on from there. I go back in 2 weeks for follow up. Told him i was afraid of weight gain on wellbutrin. Found out it has been studied as a aid for weight loss also. Thanks Paul

I know what's going on with "what about me?" I work with the public in what's considered a "glamour job" but it's not very glamourous when they're driving you nuts. I'm supposed to be helpful, knowledgeable and entertaining.... while trying to hide the rolls of fat which all the world can see.

For approx. 15 years (6 mos at a time) I had to live at the workplace. Since I am a people person, I thought I was in heaven. I was on call 24/7 and the workload was heavy at times (so was I). I figured out that after meeteing the public, doing paperwork, handling unforseen situations, eating, sleeping, bathing, etc., there was about 10 minutes left in the day for my own stuff.

Gee...... when do I get attended to? and who's gonna do it? I watched everyone else go away happy because I solved their problem. But nobody was solving mine.

I decided then and there to dump that job at the workplace. I didn't even go home. I went to a friend's place and just sat there for a month. I tried to figure out what I'm doing wrong. Came to the conclusion that if I don't help myself, nobody's going to. Without me in good shape, I'm not much good to anyone else either.

It's hard for us in the helping and serving professions to learn to put oneself first. But it has to be done. We get our recognition from others because we did for them. Time now to do for ourselves. No, it isn't selfish. It is necessary.

Just noticed something. The words helping and serving also mean portions of food. Hmmm.... is something related here?

Cheers, Chiqui