I weight 311.5 pounds. I am 5'9" tall. In any culture in the world, I would be grossly obese. 100 years ago in America, when supposedly fat women were admired, I still would have been grossly obese. I have just reached the point where I can walk into the fat women's department at a store and be sure the clothes will fit me; I'm nowhere near being able to buy clothes in the normal women's department.

So what is it about losing 50 pounds that makes me feel thin? How can I fight this delusion of feeling thin so that I stick to this woe? Does anyone else face this issue? Yes, I'm not as fat as I used to be, but I'm still fat! How do I get that through my head?

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing wonderful!! 50lbs is huge and you should be congratulating yourself. Being able to go into the store and buy something off the rack is a milestone. Try to keep on track for the next milestone, the smallest size in the plus store.

I'm like you I can't wait for the day that I can actually go into a "normal store" and buy my clothes. I have hated buying my stuff from plus size and it has been years. I probably have 50lbs before I will see a sixteen or eighteen. We all have that long road ahead.

Good luck , stay on program and you will succeed, look how far you have already come.

Kathy

Hello and Welcome to the forum!

I really understand what you are saying. I don't feel nearly as fat as I am. I go through each day feeling pretty good and this 32 pound loss makes me feel wonderful! But when I pass a mirror or see a picture of myself - I am totally shocked by how big I really am. I just don't feel that big.

I believe it is a positive sign in many ways. My self-esteem is overall pretty good, and I like my body and the way I look in general. I consider myself an attractive woman. I love my reddish hair and green eyes. Having these positive feelings about ourselves regardless of the weight can really help us I think. Because, we care about ourselves and generally approve of ourselves. We can treat ourselves well and stay on this WOL because we know we are worth it!

I can understand the fear of being complacent, however. If I am happy with myself now, why should I do this? That is when I really think about my health. I am sure not getting any younger. I want to be like my parents in retirement, active and fit. Over the last 20 years, there has been a lot of positive things in the media about BBW (fat, LOL). There are great clothing stores, special magazines, etc. I am not sure this has been a completely positive thing. Our heart, bones, and other organs don't care about positive BBW images. Fat kills, and that is a fact. I remind myself of that when I become overly "happy" with my weight loss. I have a long way to go. Cindi

Interesting thread, liz...

I have many of the same feelings. I've lost nearly 100 lbs and I can now wear so many clothes. I can even buy 2XL clothing off the rack at Target!

But look at my stats...I'm still very heavy. Funny though, I don't feel it and people never believe me when I tell them how much I weigh.

It's a slippery slope though. You have every reason to feel proud of your accomplishment. I do (and I'm proud of you too!). But be very careful of allowing yourself to feel it's OK to have a little of this and that now that you're feeling so much in control and successful. I let that happen and nearly fell completely off the wagon. Thankfully, I'm solidly back on the wagon now.

Perhaps you should go to the women's dept. and find a garment or two that you really want to be able to wear in a size that you long to fit in. Try them on. Look at how far you need to go to get into them. While this sounds a little harsh, it snaps me back to reality and is much more pleasant than just grabbing rolls of fat while looking in a full length mirror. You can just tell yourself, "I can't zip this up today, but I WILL be able to one day."

Thanks for posting this!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by orchidday
Our heart, bones, and other organs don't care about positive BBW images. [QUOTE]

Great point, Cindi!

Donald

Thanks all for your input. Donald, I have a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to wear for 10 years (and I could only wear them briefly then after starving myself on a lowfat diet, they haven't really fit for 12 years). They're my short term goal right now. I still can't close them, but it's getting closer -- my guess is another 20 or 25 pounds and they will fit comfortably. After that, I guess I will have to come up with something else to keep motivated.

I'm also a Target shopper -- the clothes are cheap so if I shrink out of them it's not too wasteful. I went to Target the other day and bought some clothes off the rack. Large sizes (2X and 3X), but hey they fit! A few months ago, nothing in Target fit me.

Hi all

I too went thru this. Now I feel larger than when I was over 325 pounds. I think it is because I am noticing the fat more, then I was in denial.

Liz...it's great to now worry about buying clothes. I use to travel a quite a bit and my bigest fear would be that I would need to buy some article of clothing and that none of the stores would have anything that would fit. While I wear a L/XL today, then it was a 5 or 6X!!! Walmart, Target, Sears and all just don't carry that size.

You have the right idea...celebrate the small stuff. Keep on target. I now purposely buy something that I want to get into...1 or 2 sizes smaller than where I currently am at. Then I try them on weekly... this helps me more than what the scales or the tape measure says.

Keep up the great work...I'll see you in skinnyville soon.

Dee

Dee,

I thought I was the only person in the world who worried about not finding clothes that fit! I used to have nightmares that the airline would lose my suitcase, or my house would burn down, and I wouldn't be able to find anything to wear because I needed a 4X and I could only get that from catalogues. I almost missed a wedding a few years ago because I couldn't find a formal dress in a size that fit. It is a great relief to be able to find clothes at places like J.C. Penney and Target. At least I know I won't end up naked!

Yeah, I couldn't even buy jeans at Lane Bryant. It felt pretty sad when I was going to a store for big people and couldn't buy clothes - had to order by catalog or do without. I'm looking forward to buying clothes in a store again.

Perhaps one of the gifts we have received in exchange for the suffering of having been so fat is that we don't take for granted things that are routine for most people.

I agree. I also know that I still get looks of...wow your fat and you want to do what??? I am swing dancing and there is a gentleman there who is large. No one wants to dance with him, and me because of our weight. Yet we dance together and have a great time. It's their loss, and when I get the rest of this weight off....I just may not dance with the ignorant pigs! I will just spin around them...

Dee

Big hugs to you Dee for not letting life pass you by. That is way cool - excellent! Cindi

Liz, Regarding delusions of thinking you're thinner than you really are, I think that's a great way to think. When we feel thin, we tend to have a little bounce in our step and have more confidence. The only opinion that really counts is your own. And as long as you feel thin, more power to you. I'm sure you'll admit the feeling far outweighs (no pun intended) how you felt about yourself 50 pounds ago! Don't worry about getting anything into your head except continuing with this WOE so you can continue to feel good about yourself.
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