I feel like making a joke column..."How do you know you are a hard core Low Carber?"

1. You read labels--on everything, whether you intend to buy it or not.

2. You drink flax oil straight.

3. You buy the BFL book and make plans to do it. (I almost bought it, but decided a new computer game would get more use.)

4. You've read as many low carb books as you've heard of.

5. You give away your "fat" clothes because you're never going there again. (I forgot about pregnant though, I had to buy some new ones.)

6. You start to preach low carb to all and sundry.

Anything else to add?

Beth

A few more hard core LC indicators:

1) You drink Udo's Blend. Straight. And like it.

2) You spend all day perfecting your recipe for making cheesecake from Heavy Whipping Cream, Splenda, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and Pork Rinds because others keep complaining that it is just missing something.

3) You take your Wendy's burger and a bag of seeds to the park and eat both the burger and the seeds. Yet the birds still love you.

The second one is a take off from one that was in a list on the Lighter Side forum - I just loved it.

You drink heavy cream right from the carton.

You purchase full fat products instead of low fat ones with added sugars.

You know where all the bathrooms are when you go out.

You're offered a piece of cake, a donut or a cookie at the office and your immediate reaction is, "Eww."

You offer a guest a cup of coffee and when they make the request, you suddenly realize that you don't own sugar in any form.

Glancing through old grocery receipts you notice that your average spinach consumption is 2 1/2 pounds of ready-to-eat, washed leaves per week.

In addition to eating meat at every meal you're now adding protein supplements between meals.

You switch up to a larger handbag that will accomodate three quart-sized water bottles along with your beef jerky stash.

Allison

When you read:

"With the insulin/glucose clamp technique, in combination with tracer glucose infusion and indirect calorimity, it has been demonstrated that the insulin resistance of essential hypertension is located in peripheral tissues,is limited to nonoxidative pathways of glucose disposal (glycogen synthesis), and correlates directly with the severity of hypertension"

and understand it or your name is Natasha and you probably wrote it.

When you fall over and hit your head, and wonder what supplement to take.

(or your name is Doreen, you recommend TLC and Arnica and it works!).

When you try for the third time to make something with Stawberry whey protein or your name is Karen.

When someone comes up with the idea of a support forum and you think "that might be fun" or your name is W'ail and you are certifiably mad anyway.

When you look at a vending machine full of candy bars and chips and complain "There's nothing to eat in here!"

When they name a new brand of bottled water after you in honor of how much you've consumed.

When the restroom at your workplace has a stall permanently reserved just for you.

When you eye your co-worker's low fat lunch and ask "Are you actually going to eat that?"

When your local health food store dedicates a new low carb isle in your honor.

When commercials for low fat products make you laugh hysterically.

When you can quote word for word from Dr. Atkins' book without looking.

When your local butcher sends you thank-you notes and birthday cards to thank you for your patronage.

When your local health food store calls you to tell you that they just got a new shipment of Atkins products in so you can have first pick without you asking them to.

1. You shop the outside aisles of the grocery store where the whole fresh foods are stocked ... meats, produce, dairy and eggs. Your only reason for wheeling the cart down a side-aisle is for household items and pet supplies.

2. You and other local low-carbers are having yet another dinner at your favourite restaurant. An inexperienced server plunks a basket of hot bread on the table right in front of you. Before you can say Robert C. Atkins, the host zooms over and whisks away the offending object, chastising the server for their ineptitude. A tray of raw vegetable crudités with mayonnaise is offered instead, with apologies for the mistake, and wishes for your continued patronage expressed. Hey, it could happen.

3. You instruct the butcher that you want your steaks and chops untrimmed and FATTY.

4. Your monthly donation to the local food bank includes a TALL stack of empty egg cartons. (yes, these are most welcome, as donated eggs usually arrive in bulk)

5. Whenever invited as a guest to dinner, you always offer to bring a salad or other side dish .. low-carb of course .. so that you know there'll be at least something on the menu you can freely indulge in.

6. You sip/slurp/slug flax oil AND Udo's oil straight up, every day, and you don't like it all that much but you do it anyway.

7. You cease to have a social life, and even the TV is neglected because you're addicted to Active LowCarber Forums

Cheers!

Doreen

I am a HARD CORE low carber! I do many of these things - no kidding!!! But then there never was any doubt!
I appreciate all the humor - keep it coming!

You know you're a hard core low carber when:

-Visions of whoosh fairies dance in your head.

-Your tape measure gets as much action as your bathroom scale.

-Your ability to do math up to and including the number "20" has improved significantly.

-You understand what BMR, LBM, LC, WOE and WOL mean.

-You eat steak for breakfast.

-You stop saying Ewwwwww in response to Pork Rinds.

-You KNOW that peanuts are not nuts.

-You worry about eating ENOUGH!

You are a hard cord low carber:

1. If You become almost as good as a butcher identifying good meat.

2. When you get thank yous from the clerk in the grocery store, the nurse at your doctor's office, the neighbor next door... all converted to LCing by your example.

3. When you find yourself thinking "Hmmm, can I make these chocolate chip cookies, low carb?"

4. When most kids bring peanut butter sandwhiches, apples, juice, and a cupcake to school, You pack cheese stuffed celery sticks, slices of pepperoni, cucumber slices, nuts and a bottle of ice water... and the other kids want your kids lunch!

5. When you have to clip your nails every week and color your hair every month!

I realized I am really involved in this WOE when for the first time in my life I really know the american weight system (teaspoons, tablespoons, cups ect) After figuring out the sweetness in one pkg of splenda, it's amazing how well you start to get to know the system... even if it's ridiculous and we ought to go metric

you watch something on TV about "healthy eating" or "cooking to lose weight" and you start arguing with the images on TV ("And what's so wrong about saturated fat, you idiot?" "Oh yeah, subtracting that olive oil from the foccacio is going to help a whole lot" or "PROVE it!")

The clerk at the grocery store looks at your bacon, spinach, almonds, and Diet Rite and says, "oh, you're on that diet"

you choose your breakfast restaurants by whether or not they'll substitute tomatoes or cottage cheese for the hashbrowns and toast.

Not only do you read labels, you think: 'okay, 9 times X is such and such, and 4 times Y is such and such, subtract from total calories....'

Your fondest grocery store wish is that they sold chicken breasts without the bone but with the skin. You start having fantasties about visiting a chicken processing plant and getting discarded skins for free.

When you see the spouse of the one other person in town you know is LCing, you ask about her plateau before you ask how he is. (oops!)

You take a bite of some vegetable that was dressed with sugar and look
around for a place to spit it out.

You realize you've tried every single vegetable your grocery store carries--when three years ago, you had tried only half of them!

Great ones, guys (though Doreen, I do get my canned artichoke hearts and tuna from the interior of the store. )

I can just read the headlines now .....

• Fanatic Low Carber in leopard-skin loincloth spied running up and down center aisles of grocery store, poking at cans of tuna with sticks and spears, and bashing open canned artichoke hearts with a stone!

Hunting and gathering takes on a whole new meaning

Doreen

I just couldn't stop laughting! What a riot that would cause!!

Yep - I think that would DEFINITELY classify as a purist!