I'm more anxiety than depressed as a person and lately I have a full plate of anxiety that is preventing me from sleeping. I had two panic attacks, first I have had in months.

I thought I would talk about it.
As you might know, I miss my children. They are gone this week and we haven't been away from each other this long before.
I keep having thoughts that I am a bad mother and that the kids are better off with their father/my parents. Silly isn't it!?

I also did something foolish. I wrote to my friend that I love and told him how I felt. What is awful is not knowing how he took it or if he even read it. Its so hard being a friend in love with a friend who only sees you as a friend. But you know? I'm doing it. I can just be a friend. I haven't hear from him in over a week. He's been very busy at work due to a 5 week trip he's doing for work.
So there is a good reason for why he isn't emailing.

At work, An engineer that I work with made compaints about me to the Office Manager and to my Project Manager. Saying I don't get along with the others, which except for him, isn't true.
I have spoken with the other members of the team and they are good with me. My Project Manager says that this is just a problem blown out of proportion, but I had to work on staying in the office 8-5 and not take so much time off for appointments.
I'm a single mom and I take about 3 hours off a month to take my children or I to doctors, dentists, and counsillors. I make the time up ahead of them so not to upset my work flow. The engineer who complains pushes me to work harder which isn't bad at all. But he also insults me. Which I don't find funny. But I was told to get use to it.

There got that off my chest!
I just feel like crying. Silly isn't it?!

It is never okay or alright to get used to someone else being overbearing with us.

I would begin a calendar or log dates and times he says things to me so when he makes a specific complaint again you will have a record of such. That is harassment pure and simple and it's not right.

You are a good mother, just try and look at this as a break for you and do some things just for you to help make this time be more special. I am sure they are missing you too (tho they may never admit it), there is nothing that can take the place of a loving caring mother to a child.

You take care -- Debi

Losing sleep is a killer for me too! I go through this every night of the week due to my anxiety and it never gets any easier. My son got into a car accident about week ago and on the way to the emergency room we got rear ended in my car. The worst part was that the other driver took off before I could get the license plate#. My son is doing ok, he sustained a concussion and bruised ribs and every time he grabs his keys to head out, my anxiety kicks in like never before. I hope things work out for you and your friend, if not I am sure a pretty gal like yourself will a find someone to make you happy.

Only someone who as anxiety really knows how overwelming it can be at times. I'm lucky. Today my roommate called and ask how I was doing and I told him what I told you. He went home early from work so he could help clean the house for me. What a great friend I have!

Lessara,
I just discovered the Addiction & Depression forum today and have been reading through the threads, so sorry I didn't post sooner.
Because you mention being an anxiety sufferer, I am surprised that your doctor has you on Prozac. Of the three major SSRIs -- Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil -- Prozac has the strongest reputation for exacerbating symptoms of or episodes of anxiety. Some doctors make a practise of not prescribing it to patients who are prone to anxiety. I believe Prozac is also the most likely to push a bipolar patient into hypomania or full-blown mania.
Next time you see your doctor, you might ask your doctor about Zoloft or Paxil -- they are both SSRIs and work similarly to Prozac, but are less likely to hype you up. In fact, in the states, Paxil is marketed as a treatment for "social anxiety disorder."

I'd also ask your doctor about Autogenic Training. Here in UK it is aan 8 week 1 hour training , takes 5-20 minutes a day, depending on how much time you have, drug-free and is VERY helpful with anxiety, self-esteem, panic attacks.

I just did a quick search for it on the web and got umpteen results, even free courses on some links. I'd recommend doing it with someone as its benefits are from EXPERIENCING the results.

I'd watch that "work" situation. Keep a written record, as Debi suggests. You need people to help you stay upright, not stick a knife in your back and stamp on you right now. You owe it to yourself to speak up (at least to the Project Manager).

Take care.

P.S. I just noticed some of the sites are promoting "equipment" $500+. My personal take on that is that your own voice and your own favourite piece of music will work much better. It is all a question of "retraining" the automatic reflex responses in one's own head.

The training courses here do not involve parting with any cash.
Take care.

Lessara,
Don't ever let anyone push you around at work. I am a single mother and I work for 2 tough men (who treat their wives lie %$#~)
They tried pushing me around and lowering my self esteem for years, and I took it for a long time. When I finally got my self in order after my separation from my husband, I grew an enormous backbone and dished it right back to them.
Go over their heads if they are giving you grief at work. Tell them to watch out or you will file a harrassment suit against them if they ever degrade you.
Stand up for yourself because your all you got !!! Once that is gone you have nothing.
Be strong !
I have been there, and it is a scary place to be mentally. By being so scared of my situation of raising children and supporting them on my own, gave me the willpower to do what I had to do.
Find strength in being on your own. Use it to your advantage.

Kassy

Ok I am just going to jump in here and ditto all the replies previous regarding your co-worker. Especially the field you are in it is still very male dominated. You just stand your ground with this co-worker remember that is what he is.
Regarding the anxiety. You are a few years younger than me. I am curious if you have done any research on Premenopause, Estrogen Dominance (we big girls and men have plenty of it) and Adrenal Fatique. Insulin Resistance tends to go along with all of these conditions. Messing up our bodies fantasyic ability to produce the hormones we need. I would highly recommend reading the following books:
"What Your Doctor Won't Tell you about Premenopause" Dr Lee
and
"Potatoes not Prozac" Kathleen Des Maisons PHD
I am sure there are others also.
Research PCOS and Adrenal Fatique on the net.

My anxiety had gotten progressively worse over the years. I have gotten to the point where I am unable to venture to far from home and my social life is incapacitated, but with low-carb and also a presciption for Natural Progesterone I am so much calmer, I still worry about lots but I do not get all worked up to the point I have to simply stay at home and can barely cope. It is extremely interesting how our hormones come into play in all of this.

Things are much better. I did go over that man's head at work and was told, he blew things out of perportion and the uppiddy ups egnored him.
(Isn't my spelling terrible?!)
I, for some reason, haven't given Mark a thought. I'm actually ok on his not responding. Relief actually. I really mean that.. Really!

My daughter is coming home Sunday and I can't wait to see her.
My son misses her too, which is kinda scary
All and all things are much better.
Thanks All and Kassy, my real name is Kassie

Hi, joining the thread.

First, I have a comment about medications. Prozac can be the better medicine for some people. It is the medicine that has the least tendency to add weight which may be some concern since we are on a weight loss forum.

Second, about the complaining guy at work. How about a two prong approach: (1) over his head, documenting for yourself and personnel reference if needed his harrassment, and working with him to provide the best product you can to him and (2) working with the staff in general to maintain as high a performance and quality level as possible, seeking their suggestions occasionally if helpful. Don't go overboard in self-monitoring - that is the biggest trap. It is after all "not about you" but "about the work done" from the employers point of view. I am having trouble explaining what I mean, but I am not criticizing you, just suggesting a couple of strategies.

Betsy

Just noticed dates are OLD.

If you get this thread still, I would love to know how the workplace situation worked out over time.

Betsy