oh yeah!!

Not only is it a case of "Other people don't think I look that bad because they tell me so," but blaming the cameras has been the norm! Not being able to have my picture taken from any but a particular angle has finally proved to me that, no, it's not just from head on, it's also from the side, the front, from lower down... I just want one decent set of pictures!!

It's been really hard to get started again because I've been justifying my weight to myself. The thoughts in my head are sort of like the following: There are men who like larger women; I'm thought of as pretty or striking by a number of people, so I can't be that bad, right? I'm relatively healthy (except for this leg problem, and my feet, and shortness of breath when climbing stairs..); I look smaller than I really am (HA!!); If I become thin then I'll look just like everyone else.

Typing them out, I'm kind of ashamed of them! They look so vain and silly! But that's what's been holding me back.

Now, a chance, untargeted comment by one of my closest friends about being in a particular location and not fitting the aesthetic has really hit home. So here we go again!