I'm on my third round of Atkins - 4 pounds in this first week. I'd lost 30 pounds, very easily, the first time I low-carbed, then gained it all back like a dumba$$.

Finally last week some people at work decided they were having a contest to see who could lose the most weight in a month - with a $160 pot for the winner. At the last minute I decided to join them.

I finally realized that I just wasn't that upset about being fat. My size 16's got too tight, so I bought 18's instead of losing weight. I don't want to date while I'm this fat (me naked = blinded man), so I don't accept any dates or look for guys I might actually like.

I realized I have to motivate myself by being more disgusted by my body. I draw a pig face on my water cups. I slouch naked in the mirror in too-tight lingerie. (I don't hate myself, just my giant fat ass. I consider them separate beings.)

Some people can be happy with being overweight and still feel good/sexy/healthy and everything, but I don't want to feel good/sexy/healthy and be overweight, I would rather have my looks match how I feel about myself.

Does anyone else have a problem with wanting to be thin, but not hating their fat enough to do something about it?