Hey, I'm sorry about this but I just need to vent a little bit. I was looking around on the boards & since I'm a 21 year old in college, I decided to look at some of the college aged posts on here & it just annoyed me. I mean, I would kill to weigh what most of the people I saw on those boards weigh. One person weighed like 135 & wanted to get down to 110. Wow, I mean according to height and weight charts she'd have to be like 5 feet tall for that to be a "healthy" weight for her. It just annoys me when I see people trying to lose weight for vanity when there are so many people in the USA that NEED to lose it for health reasons. I guess it made me really glad that the TDC board is here. People that need to lose 30lbs just don't know what it's like to need to lose 100lbs or more. Thanks for letting me vent a little bit. Maybe next time I post I'll have something more positive to say. On a positive note this time, I'm on my fourth day of induction (atkins WOE) & I must say it's been a lot easier this time than it was last time. thanks
BAM

That's one of the reasons I like posting in this forum BAM even though I didn't have a 100 pounds to lose (more like 60). When you start off over 200 (for me) and see others who need to lose about 20 or so you get discouraged.

Everybody's weight loss is important to them but it is nice to have a spot were you fit in

Dangit dont you just hate them dag gum skinny people that want to be FAT...Cant we people of Abundance have anything to ourselves...geessshhhh!!!! Big John....P.S......J/K....maybe not...LMAO

You know I agree. There is one person whose goal is aBMI that is well into the underweight range. What i find sad is that no one, including me, has pointed this out.

I have to admit I feel the same way most of the time. It's hard to really identify with someone who is just trying to go from average weight to a lower average weight for their height when you used to weigh 340 lbs!

I'm not saying those that have less to lose don't have a real struggle too, but I just can't relate to them.

I find it interesting that here in the TDC, most of us have GOAL weights that are higher than the starting weights for some of those other people. We just want to be normal, we know that coming from where we were, the goal is healthy & normal weight, not skinny model weight.

Valerie

I'm gonna put my 2 cents in here too.

I realize that everyone's weight loss is important to them. I also find it strange that many people who do not need to lose over 100 lbs come in here to post...huh? and want to join a team to get incentive? Why don't they start a team with people more like themselves.

Does posting in a forum for people who have to lose over 100 lbs make them feel better? Aren't there enough other forums for these people to post in?

I'm venting here too as I do not see why members who want to lose 30-40-50 lbs feel the need to post here in the TDC??!!

It actually affects me when I see their starting weights and their goal weights as I say to myself...HUH? WHY?

I have had friends in my life that dropped me like a hot potato when I lost weight because when I am overweight, it makes them look and feel better about themselves. grrrr.....

Interesting thread Bam and much to think about.

When I was new to the forum, I was often frustrated hearing about people who needed to lose 10 pounds when they weighed less than I EVER had! I had very little sympathy when I read about their struggles. I couldn't relate to them at all in anyway.

I guess I am a person who needs to be humbled every now and then (or a lot) and some things were pointed out to me that were definitely humbling. My current weight is some folks goal weight. There are people who cannot imagine being at the low weight of 243. It was pointed out to me several times (and kindly I might add) that my struggle is not the begin and end all of struggle. That there are people who have a tougher road to go of it than I do. So I have to remember, that in some folks' point of view, I don't have to far to go, and shouldn't complain about my weight (which I do a lot of ). I think it is all relative.

I am also glad we have a Triple Digits Club forum because I think our issues are unique. First of all, we are going to be around a long time if we want to reach our goal weight. And many of the challenges we face in terms of exercise ability, prejudice, health issues, etc. we definitely have in common.

I also raise an eyebrow when I see someone who is trying to get under their healthy BMI level or wants to be under their healthy weight range. But we have to be careful because some people (for instance Asians with small bone structure), might not actually fit that range. Sometimes we don't know enough about them to really know what it is all about. But if they are doing unhealthy things I don't it is such a bad idea to practice some "tough love" as we would anyone of any weight who was doing something very dangerous with their diet.

At 47, its hard for me to remember when I only had 10 vanity pounds to lose but there was such a time I remember! I wish I had found low-carbing then instead of now good grief! Often those 10 or 15 pounds are extremely hard to lose as we often see from TDC members who get close to their goal weight. So, I do understand the hard struggle that many people will endure trying to actually get to their goal weight.

I didn't get heavy until well into my twenties. I wish someone (a doctor, my mother, etc.) had noticed that I was gaining and helped me early. But I was always told not to worry about it. Hopefully some of these people coming here for support will never walk in my shoes. Hopefully, they will find this WOL works before they ever get to where I got. I am glad they are trying to do something early.

Dealing with our feelings is important so I am glad you felt like venting! This is a long journey and many issues come up for us along the way. You are among friends here!

Orchid

Great thread!

Grrr...as a college student I can totally relate....or not relate as the case may be. I just can't see the delema of a person who is a size 6 trying to get into a size 4... I'm sure that everyone has issues, but I'm not at a place I can relate at the moment.

I tried to point out to someone that they may be shooting a bit low for their height and got accused of being jealous, to put it politely. They were whining and complaining about being fat at just over 100 lbs at about 5'6" (exact stats blurred to avoid another nasty PM).

I tend to keep my opinions about excessive thinness to myself after that. It won't be seen as helpful, I guess and many of them seem to feel a heavy person is automatically wrong or jealous. What they don't know is I USED TO BE thin, and might have something to contribute... (disclaimer: not ALL thin people act this way.)

Hi,
JudyNC - I am not TDC. I understand your frustration at people joining the challenges and not understanding the reasons why this is in some ways a 'closed community'. HOwever I read the boards, although this is my first post, becuase I do still find stuff here I really relate to, but I also find it illuminating in understanding the different perspectives people come from.

I don't post, but this post has really struck a chord with me becuase, I am also 21 and a college student and, when I reached goal, had to stop coming to these boards for a couple of months becuase I would just get depressed reading others goals and want to lose more - developing a diet complex.

I think so many people our age have completely warped expectations. I see two extremes - normal people being influenced by media culture to get unhealthyly thin, and another culture that makes people eat and get overweight. I think at college there sometimes seems to be not many people in the middle? And the two camps are completely different! I notice now that I have lost weight, I am party to conversations where people talk to me about how 'afraid' and 'awful' it would be to be obese, so they must go do aerobics tonight blah blah. When I was obese nobody would have ever said that to me!! But now I know what they think! They also seem to think weight is completely controllable, that people who gain weight must have 'lost control' through laziness only.

My advice is, stay AWAY from the students boards and stay away from the maintence boards. Both these boards can be pretty depressing places to hang out. The worst is when I suggest that a weight is a little low, then people say 'I know 95 pounds sounds low, but I am short - only 5'3.5, not tall like you must be for that ideal weight".' At 4ft 11' I then develop a complex about that I want to go lower.

You just need to remember who you are losing weight for and why. You are doing it for you. And everything is relative. THat person who wants to go really low might have serious body image issues. However, I do draw the line when people try to promote the ways in which they have starved themselves to underweight to others, which does go on here on some boards.

Amen sister,

boy, I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice this. It makes me feel kinda crazy when I want to do things in a healthy (and slow) way and someone is bragging about getting into a size 4 when I know(was told by that person) they were starving/binging/purging to get there. Not to say this isn't it's own set of problems, but that's another story.

I'm glad you posted this! Much thanks


Freedom

Good Morning!

This is a good topic, and I want to share my observation on this. In my family we have two extremes - I have fought my weight all my life going on my first diet when I was in sixth grade. My oldest sister was thin until a few years after she got married, and has a weight problem now. My little sister goes back and forth between her ideal weight and about 25 lbs over - but my next oldest sister is 6' 2", and in high school weighed 125 lbs. After three kids she weighs 145 now. That is very skinny for a woman that height. She could always eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted and didn't gain an ounce.

The reason I bring this up is that the figures in our profiles don't tell the whole story. My sister I just descrbed told me that she wanted to do the Atkins diet to get back to 145 lbs after she had gone up to 152lbs. This sounds like the situation you were talking about, but those 7 lbs on her made her start getting love handles and her jeans weren't fitting.

People who have very small frames, or very low natural body fat (she is 8% without trying) show excess weight very quickly and easily. When she told me she wanted to do this diet, my initial reaction was "why?". After she told me about the love handles and jeans not fitting I understood - and thought that it was great that she was doing something about it. Her "handles" may not have been as big as mine, but they were there nonetheless - and she wanted to get rid of them as much as I want to get rid of mine. It took her 3 months to lose the 7 lbs, but she has and is very encouraging to me, my family, and sisters now because it was the first time she had ever had to do any type of diet change at all.

So - I guess my perspective is this - they may not have much to lose, but as long as they have weight that needs to be lost they are no different than we are. Remember - profile numbers don't tell the whole story. My sister could never weigh what the charts say she should - her frame and muscle mass are way below average.

I joined Weight Watchers once, and at the first meeting the speaker opened with, "I lost 25 pounds 10 years ago and have kept it off! You can lose too!" 25 pounds?! Please! I wanted someone up there who had lost 100 pounds so I could know it was possible for me as well.

I related this to my sister. Later she joined WW and lost about the same amount; they came to her and asked her to be a meeting leader or whatever they call them. She declined, and when they asked why, she told them her sister would kill her!

So I do know what you mean, and I agree with you. I also have a friend who had WLS two years ago; she admitted she lied in the psych exam, "told them what they wanted to hear". She didn't have any major health issues, even though she probably would have had in 10 years; she thought losing weight would help her marriage. Sadly it has not. But one night we were talking, and she said she was going to eat a chocolate eclair! I said I didn't think that was on her list of foods after the surgery, and she said, "Oh, I'll bring it back up in 20 minutes, so it won't stay on me." So she went from WLS to binging. Beautiful. (Not.)

good topic.

i sometimes get frustrated with this too, but i can usually tell the genuine from the vain by the tone of the post and just turn off the ones that don't speak to me....

btw, not trying to steal anything from everyone's venting - i think that is healthy and good!!!