I'm sure we all have days such as that...We have to learn to accept what we cannot change and change the rest!!!! No matter what I do I'm not going to look 20yrs old nor like a model!!! My health is my first priority these days!! You are doing everything you can to reformat your body....rejoice in it!

This is true, we all have things we would like to change about ourselves and we don't see ourselves as others see us. You're beautiful to your partner and it seems to me that is the important thing. Beauty goes beyond skin deep as they say. I think it's not so much what is on the outside but rather what is in the inside. We would be very shallow people indeed if we based our liking on what a person looks like rather than who they are.

That being said, I've looked at your pictures and your partner is right you are a beautiful person. Try not to be so harsh with yourself. I don't think pictures do a person justice anyway. People always look better in real life than in a mirror or photo.

I'm down 75 lbs (120 lbs from my highest ever), feeling good, even liked the reflection in the mirror as I'm walking thru the mall today.

Then I get home and I'm sitting on my 125 lb soaking wet sister's bed watching her get changed for a date tonight and realize that I am 95 lbs heavier than her. I'm not starting to look like a normal weight person as I'd been deluding myself, rather I'm still a pretty massive sized person.

Kind of a let-down.

I'm not going to let it get to me though, I'm so far ahead of where I was before. And I am looking pretty damn good these days, if I do say so myself! Comparing myself with my sister is always going to make me feel rotten, so I have to stop doing it.

Honestly, I don't think we can trust the mirror when it comes to judging ourselves. I know the people in my life that I love are more beautiful to me because I love them, and because they are good people and that shines through all the time. That might not be apparent when they look in the mirror, but I can see it when I look at them. I have to trust that the same is true for me.

Trust your significant other, not the mirror. The mirror can't show your kindness, sense of humour, the sparkle in your eyes, or any other personality.

Never trust the mirror. Trust your loved ones.

Valerie

Yes, there are times even in the same day where I go back and forth feeling good about myself. Sometimes I catch a glimpse in a mirror or look down at some part of my body and then I feel that I look terrible but just a few minutes before I was admiring a different part in the mirror. I think when we are losing weight our self-image just doesn't know what to do.

I think there are times when everyone feels down on themselves, whether it be for hormonal reasons or otherwise. I know for myself, when I was thin, I remember being so confident, but now, after having gained all this weight, I am a wallflower. I always wonder....how could I go from being the captain of my cheerleading squad and Prom Queen to not even wanting to look people in the face in just a few short years!! And I could beat my self up from here until sundown about it! But what we need to focus on is the betterment of ourselves - and YOU ARE DOING WONDERFUL!!!!!! You have come so far!!! And try to see yourself as your partner does, focus on the beauty of you, inside and out. I bet tomorrow you will wake up, see the sun, and realize what a beautiful life it is. Be proud of your accomplishments! You are doing awesome!!!!!!!

~ Lori

I do the EXACT SAME THING!!! My DH tells me a million times a day how beautiful I am, and comments on all the areas that are looking better. But, I still see the same me, when I look in the mirror. I think that, in my mind, he's biased, and HAS to say that kind of stuff to me!! When, really, he doesn't, and says it because he loves me, and loves what I'm doing for myself!! And, him too!!! hehehehe!! Seriously though, we all have days like that, and even my sister who is a hard-bodied 127 lbs., has days that she hates her reflection. So, hang in there, and let your s/o's words sink in- she's RIGHT!!!!

Thanks for the kindness everyone...Today was a much better day.

Valerie....what you said... "Trust your significant other, not the mirror. The mirror can't show your kindness, sense of humour, the sparkle in your eyes, or any other personality. " all I can say is...wow! Whatta way to put it in perspective Thanks!

What I find funny (peculiar) is this: When I started Atkins in January, I weighed myself and the scale said 185. So I started and worked hard, and was losing, but then I got a new scale. That's when I realized that I actually weighed at least 194 when I started.
Now I'm nearly 20 pounds down, at least 10 less than what I thought I was in the beginning. But today, for the first time, I feel like a fat person. What gives? Perception, particularly self perception, is a tricky business.

I don't feel as bad now as I used to, but I still feel bad at times. I think it is really hard to change one's image of one's self. It takes a while to adjust also.

For me it's my hips. Everyone was posting about pants and getting new jeans and I have lost everywhere else in inches, but have gained an inch on my hips in the last month. So each time I go to the mirror, I see nothing but my hips instead of concentrating on the overall inches that I have lost.

So I know the feeling of frustration. Marty

Be patient. You have accomplished so much already, but the fact remains that the longer road lies ahead. A lot can change during that period of time. And, for you and others that have "trouble areas" I believe that if you stick to this way of eating even after achieving your stated goal you will actually continue to lose any excess fat and you will be very happy with the results. Best of luck and success--we're with you all the way!

Howard

For me, it' s one of those "fat head" things. All my life, I have believed I was fat, but I've only really been fat for a little over a decade. When I was 140# I believed I was a cow, the fattest gal in the room, and that I should never wear white pants or stripes. Now, at 250 # I know I'm fat, but I actually have a better body image than when I was a normal sized teen.

The one time I lost all the weight, about 13 years ago, I still had a fat head, and so I wound up with a fat body again.

One of my goals today is to not only get thin, but be able to tell that I AM thin!

Thanks for bringing up the subject, and for what it's worth, I also say, trust your partner, not the mirror.

hugs
Miriam

I completely hear where all of you are coming from. I was nearing 250 when I started... never realized it until I weighed myself and started having blood pressure problems (at 20 years old). I carry my weight very well. Except for at 242 I had all these terrible red stretch marks all over me. I'm at 207.5 now... at 34.5 gone. I still feel fat. I look in the mirror and think "EW NASTY!!" I mean, technically I still am fat. I look SO much better than I did at 242 and I realize that. The majority of my red stretch marks are gone and a lot of the white/silver ones are healing. My stomach is flatter, my ass is sooo much smaller and I'm fitting into smaller clothes. People finally started noticing and that helps me a lot. But I still feel gross. But I know for a fact I feel less gross than 34.5 pounds ago, and that's what keeps me going.

It's hard. Self-image can change drastically. I notice a change in my body.. like I can see a bone or something that I couldn't see before... a new indention.. and I feel on top of the world.. Like I'm really doing something.

I cheated for a week and a half, gained back 5 pounds in water (lost it all, already though) and didn't weigh myself through that whole time. Also didn't weigh myself in my first few days back on induction. I felt SO ugly. I wore baggier clothes and everything. Finally decided to weigh myself, dreading what the scale would say, and to my surprise I was down 2.5 pounds from when I first cheated. All the gained weight plus 2.5 pounds were gone! I felt gorgeous in nanoseconds.

Goes to show... it's all a state of mind.

You're welcome, I'm glad it helped! I hope you are feeling better and believing your SO when she tells you that you are beautiful!

Valerie

Body image and self image are tricky to seperate. I've lost all the weight I wanted to lose and I still feel fat and ackward about myself. I think the problem is for so long I projected every bad feeling, every fear, every negative thought on my weight, that I came to just associate feeling bad with feeling fat. So, now when I have thoughts that are negative or problems unrelated to weight, in my head this translates into "feeling fat". I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago actually.

Losing weight is easy. Even maintaining isn't that big of a deal. The real hard part is sorting out all the emotional / mental / behavioral junk... it's the mind set which can destroy us.