Remember MAD magazine's feature of the same name?

I just thought we could start some suggestions since we hear the same silly stuff over and over.

My mom works in drugstore and this woman came in exclaiming she had to go on a diet. Mom suggested that Women's Day had started a low carb recipe section, and the woman exclaimed, "Oh, I'm not going on THAT. I don't believe that man hit his head, it was his diet that killed him!"

My mom just backed off at that point, but I said the next time this happens, she can mention, "Yes, he was over seventy and still playing tennis."

Any one else have a story with a suggested snappy comeback? Like mine, it could be something you thought of after the fact!

Or you could say Dr. Atkin was assassinated by the PCRM and it was made to look like a fall.

Ignorance is something I can't stand.

Unfortunately, I can't post mine for fear of losing my posting priveleges. <sigh>

I did think of one in time when one of the girls at coffee (who has a heart condition, BTW) admittied to actually RE-STARTING cigarettes in an attempt to lose weight and said she'd rather do that than go on a diet. I said "I'd rather diet than die, thank you."

No! Without ignorance life would be no fun at all

My favorite comeback when I am arguing with someone who just won't listen is "well, just think how SMALL my casket will be wehn I keel over with that massive heart attack at 80!"

Actually, in those times and places where a one-finger salute is totally inappropriate, I find the "blank stare with raised eyebrow" works wonders.

Maybe I'm too 21st century and desensitized to this sort of thing -- but I don't really think the one-finger salute is ever totally inappropriate.

Then again, I am rather fond of it, myself.

I love the raised eyebrow and silence mode - my co-worker is always bombarding me with negative, low carb things. Mostly because she's 6 inches shorter than me and weighs almost as much as I do. She just can't stand to see me lose. I've learned that sometimes it's better to keep my mouth shut, and the silent technique leaves them floundering....

If you tell someone you're eating low-carb and they say they think a "balanced" diet is better...

Snappy comebacks:

I tried that once, I balanced my meal on my forehead for several days and you're absolutely right. I lost weight! That was one of the harder diets to stick to. Started to smell after a bit.

yes, for the 30-something years that this doctor spent being hit in the head by the media they finally struck the deadly blow.

How about
"If I valued your opinion-which I don't that might be interesting"

I'm with Hogarth on this one- sometimes the one finger salute is really the only way to go.

I'm finding that if you give them the blank stare while you're THINKING the one-fingered salute, you can get the same effect. I guess I'm THAT transparent!

While this may not qualify as a "snappy answer", I like to turn the tables on them. A jaw-drop, coupled with peppering them with questions like "Oh, really? Where did you learn that?" Well, where did your MOTHER look that up? Where did they cite as their clinical evidence, was it published in any medical journal I could get my hands on? Hmmm....I don't happen to HAVE that back issue of the "Globe"...wasn't that the one where aliens abducted Elvis in the middle of a crop circle?"

They either look like an arse trying to give their story some credibity, or run scared...

LOL! Good one. So that's what happened to Elvis? I knew he wasn't dead...