Greetings and Salutations,

How do you cope with a destroyed body and are their any solutions?

It's a question I would like to ask those of you out there who either have a lot of weight to lose, or have lost a lot of weight.

This question has some interesting connotations I think.

One of my friends asked me what in the hell good it was going to do me (or him for that matter) to lose weight. Mainly because of the unfortunate truth that because of how huge I was (321.5), that my skin would bear stretch marks and would be loose probably for eternity.

I told him losing the weight didn't have as much to do with how good I looked naked, compared to how long I would live and how much enjoyment I'd get out of life. He still believed he had a valid point though. Most weight loss is to a degree influenced by the cosmetic.

I guess I have two questions. . .

What do you think about the destroyed body on weight loss, its potential solutions, and misconceptions?

and

What would you tell someone who confronted you on that tack?

What do you mean by "Destroyed body" in your question?
You are young! So with a little exercise, water, and a good scrub brush, you shouldn't have any problems with stretched skin.
I mean, for women, when we have babies, our skin grows back to normal. Men usually heal better than women. If you are worried about stretch marks, simple. Use a cream with high amounts of Vitamin E. It fades them... works great on scars too.

Good questions, Crowis. I think Lessara said it!

As an inveterate browser of internet message boards, I've seen the "loose skin" question addressed many times. The consensus seems to be that it's another one of those your mileage may vary questions. Some people lose 100 pounds with nary a wrinkle, others do have loose skin but it tightens with time (sometimes six months, sometimes a year). And others go for tummy tucks.

But it HAS TO be better to be 100 pounds thinner with a little loose skin than current weight, where nothing is tight (At least, it is for me.)

I fear that if someone said to me what was said to you I'd tell him/her to mind her own business. And that's if I was a polite mood.

Not sure of exactly what I'd tell someone who confronted me with such a statement, but I can assure you I'd have a few choice words for them

I do know that this is an issue that has been raised many times and yes, it is a "YMMV" one. Age plays a part as does how fast you lost the weight. In this case slower is better. As is younger, unfortunately. Diet (as in what you put into your body every day) must play a contributing factor; I do not believe that someone starving themselves on a low fat diet will have as much elastisity in their skin as someone eating fats and more specifically essential fatty acids.

there are a few threads on this board already concerning this topic, here are a few of the choice ones:

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...&threadid=20086

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...&threadid=23736

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...&threadid=20328

As with many things, time will tell.

Nat

For your replies so far I give you thanks. The threads were fantastic Nat. Always glad to hear from you.

I found a very fascinating conversation in one of them where "body image" is discussed. I know the pitfalls of that one.
It's hard to see your loss when you look at yourself everyday.

It wasn't until I recently got a set of "before" pictures from a friend of mine in California that I realized how far I've come.

Grin

Mike

Mike, 100 pounds is very far indeed. Gulp. I'm awed

I found what you can say to the next person who asks you a nasty body image question:

I love those little guys:

My sister said to me just yesterday "How are you going to get that stomach in again after being over weight all your life?"
I was actually stunned to hear that. But then I realized something. My sister is on a diet too. Maybe loose skin is something she is worried about. So the question came out as a concern for herself as well as for me. Just a thought.

As for body image, I think the health image is way more beautiful than the trim image. Have you see pictures of people on this site. We are beautiful people. My sister is on a low fat diet and she has very bad dry skin and more wrinkles than I do, and she is 6 years younger!

This thread has brought to mind something that I have been thinking about quite a bit lately. That is, the self esteem benefits of being, or having been pretty fat. I can honestly say that I still feel pretty fat, I'm not past the point in my loss where I can say that I am not fat yet. I hope to be there some day. However, I think that when I do get there, I will have a different perspective of myself at goal weight than someone else may have who has never experienced life at more than 100 lbs over weight.

I think there are things that people take for granted every day that I couldn't and still can't. I almost had an all out panic attack when I had to get on a plane (type of plane I hadn't been on before, didn't know the seat sizes and plane layout) and wasn't sure if I would fit, or force the passenger unfortunate enough to be sitting next to me out the emergency exit, inch by inch....

As an adult I have never gone on an amusement park ride and right now if my son was older and said "mommy come with me" I would have to say no.

I have never been to Mexico, Cuba or other hot spot because I am scared of the plane situation and then scared of what I would do while there, like bathing suit, yeah right...

I don't ride horses, I certainly don't waterski or downhill ski.

At this weight, I am not all of the person I can be in this world. I would trade that all in, for the freedom to never worry about any of that again, even if I had to carry my loose skin around in a wheelbarrow. (as long as the wheel barrow was allowed on the roller coaster with me and my son! )

Cheers,

Mari

You have really made quite an accomplishment with 100lbs lost. I just think it would be nice to be able to find clothing so much easier. My skin can be loose all it wants. I just want to be able to bend over and move like I was meant to be able to do. Keep up the good work everyone.

I can't help but say that I am very moved by the compassion and love on this network. As I sat reading everyone's post I began to cry. I can relate to what everyone is saying. The fears, the concerns... the desire to be healthy and thinner.. to feel good about myself... to fit in... to let go of the nagging conversation of weight and food. I used to decribe my weight as a 'cloak' I would put on from the time I got up in the morning... through out the day, as I made love with my partner.. .until I fell asleep... I had it on... Now I am starting to see the possibility of dropping it off at the cleaners and NEVER going back to get it!!!!

This morning as I was journaling I realized that a not only was I losing weight (day 6 -yeah!) But I was loosing a part of myself. The crazy person... in the cloak. What am i going to do not worrying about ... 'do i eat well, do I eat right, what do people think, can I do this or that, or I can't do this or that. What can I eat after all of the things I can't eat on --and --on..." The deprivation from dieting .. is a learned behavior everywhere in my life... from what I think.. to what I buy...how I decorate my home etc.. I feel apart of me dying off and a part of me blossoming…

I feel like I am moving forward… and living.. nourishing and loving myself. Feeling like I now have a way to live that suits me… Eating what I like to eat.. when I want to and how much I want… not what is ‘proper’. Sometimes I sense that overweight people put far more unreal expectations on ourselves in terms of how we are ‘supposed’ to look, feelor eat.. that they are impossible for ANYONE to adhere to ….Destoryed Body --NEVER!!! Nourished SOUL --- I say YES !!!!!!!

Mari, self esteem is something very precious and body image something very unforgiving. I've been there. I've been fat and I've been thin; I was a fat young adult (287 lbs at my biggest), and a pretty fat teen. Even after losing over 130 lbs I still thought I was fat. I would see pictures of myself at 150lbs and think, "Gee, kid you could lose another 20 lbs" At the time I was anemic, surviving on 700 calories a day, working out 2 hours every day and had a body fat percentage so low I hadn't had my period in over 9 months. And I thought I was fat.

There is always that demon lurking deep in the back of my mind that I will succumb once again to that way of thinking. I've always had an issue with control and food, but I think now I've got a half decent handle on it. I hope that's the case. Time will tell. Thanks for sharing and for reminding me what I've been through and what I've been able to overcome.

Nat

I'm with you, Mari. My son is 8 1/2 months old, and my goal is by the time he gets old enough to ride any amusement park rides, I want to be able to fit into the seat next to him.

I know that I'm doing well, because I went to the movies the other day and the SEAT fit better. I almost cried.

Stay strong, everyone!

I understand about the amusement rides. I went to six flags Vallejo with a couple of friends of mine and it actually took 3 pushes to lock one of the safety bars over my stomach. The ride mechanic was really nice about it. But having to face down hundreds of people waiting in line while watching a tech try to turn me into a human balloon animal was not the prettiest experiences.

Shudder.

I agree that self esteem is one of the most important things there is in this universe. I struggled with it when I was at my starting weight and struggle with it still. I think the mental scars of my weight are going to be much harder to bear in the future than the physical ones.

This is probably too much info but I have stretch marks a good four to five inches long in places on my body from my weight gains. And I have plenty of total stretch marks, almost all in the torso region.

Am I ever going to look as good as I could have, if I had started slender.

No I'm not.

Am I ever going to feel attractive without a shirt?

No.

Am I more mature for having to deal with these issues at an earlier age than most of my friends?

I thinks so.

The real thing that bothers me half the time is the hidden truths. I'm getting to the weight now that occasionally I spark a bit of female interest. Besides being occasionally bitter because I realize the person probably would have quickly looked away from me instead of talk to me nine months ago, I have to deal with other issues.

Sure I look okay clothed, but I look like some sort of vietnam war exhibit with my shirt off. It's not pretty. I almost feel like telling these women. Hope you don't mind scars. The stretch marks have faded to white now, and have even shrunk a little. But they are there forever. I still don't know how I feel about it. Part of me is glad they are there to remind me of where I came from. A constant reminder of why I've changed my life. The other side of me wants to sit down and cry because no matter how determined I am, or how hard I try. . .they will always be there. I can't beat them.

If I feel this way about myself now, is it any different than how I felt when I was Class III obese?

I think so.

I'm certainly not going to quit trying to improve myself, not just in the weight area, but in all areas. Hopefully, I will grow and get used to my new self.

Thanks for listening

Mike

hi Mike,

Don't beat yourself up so bad - you have achieved something really awesome. So what if you can't display a perfect model physique with your shirt off, and any women who loses interest in you becasue of that simply ain't worth it.

There are very few perfect specimens out there, and whre you have been makes you the special person you are - and you have the scares to prove it

If I had your success, I might even be proud of those darn sstretch marks

chin up
lesley