Both my husband and I are overweight. I have thryroid disease and it is very difficult for me to lose weight. No matter how much I try, my weight has settled around 250. Even if I lose 10-20 lbs., it seems like it still goes back up to 250. My husband weighs about 275. I think one reason we let our weight creep up was because we are both tall. I am 5'10" and he is 6' 2." I try to lose weight and he just talks about it. Since the kids are grown up and it is just my husband and I now, I just cook for 2, so you think it would be easy. However he won't do anything drastic to change. He won't agree to low carb. He won't stop buying sugar to put in his tea. I sneakily put Splenda in the sugar bowl, but he noticed and said he didn't like it. He brings home cookies and cokes all the time. This morning I ran out of coffee and he was going to go get gas before he had to go to work, so I asked him to buy me a cup of coffee. Well, he did PLUS a donut. I hated to fuss at him since he was just trying to be nice. I don't know what to do. No matter how many times I discuss weight loss with him, it seems to go in one ear and out the other. I am not blaming my husband on my weight problems, but I wish he would be more aware of our mutual weight problems for both our sakes.

There are just some who don't want to change what they're comfortable with, so you'll need to do it alone. I'm the only low carber in my house, and yes, it's hard at times, but I am commited to doing this for me.

I don't know what I'd do if my dh or one of the kids brought me donuts, but it wouldn't be pleasant. If they don't want to do it, fine, they don't really need to lose, but they do support me and they accept that I don't buy any junk any more.
You can do this! Maybe if he sees how wonderfully you're doing and feeling, it will inspire him. Good luck to you.

You can't let him dictate your WOL! You need to resist those urges and do this WOL for you! I cook seperate for my DD and DH and I have Sugar, Cookies, cereals, Chocolate, regular bread you nae it in this house. You need to teach yourself not to give in. Eventually you will be around this food, no more excuses. Do it for you!

Fluffybear, I hear ya. Now, my husband doesn't need to lose weight, and when he does, having half a muffin a day instead of a whole one and not snacking after dinner usually does the trick for him. Wish I could say the same about myself.

He buys Oreos, Dreamery ice cream (drool), cheetos, all kinds of stuff that I can't have, and sometimes tempts me into having a teaspoon or two of ice cream at night. I don't think he is trying to be spiteful, but he certainly thinks I obsess about losing weight and food.

I LOVE food, absolutely love it, and spend a lot of time thinking what I could cook next.... but I do try to stay with the South Beach Diet.

Yesterday he told me how much he misses pizza. I always told him he could go out and get one. But I miss pizza as well, so I'd rather not have it around until I am VERY close to goal or even beyond.

It's hard living with a "carb addict". I used to make a delish linguine mushroom dish.... it's been ages.

I even miss Kraft mac & cheese sometimes. Now that's pathetic ;-)

Gotta stay strong, fluffy!

You need to tell DH to step off girl.
If he's not gonna support you in this then he needs to at least let you be and stop sabotaging you.

Just tell him straight up girl.

It's your life and you want to be around to live it!

Can you make a dinner like meat, veggies or a salad, and ONE portion of rice or potatoes? Maybe when he sees your plate and his, he'll understand how serious you are about this.

M

Just because he brings home sweets doesn't mean you have to have them. Yes the temptation is more, but you can over come it. Hide his things in the pantry in a special section just fo rhim. Or in an area of the freezer you aren't likely to hit them

When he offers you food, or brings home something for you, just be polite and firmly say "Thank you for htinking of me hun, but I really can't eat that." If he persists or pushes ask him directly why he isn't supporting you. He may not relize what he's doing makes you feel bad. He might also not know anyway to show you he cares besides bringing home a treat. If it's the case of soemthing sweet that was ment to be romantic, tell him no thanks, but maybe you can do soemthing like a long walk together, or he should pick up a movie next time. Give him actuall suggestions to follow. Some people do need instructions spelled out for them, I know I do at times

fluffybear - I agree with the other posts that you just need to not worry about what your DH does and do whats right for you.

When I first started this WOL my husband and son were all supportive. I only cooked meat and veggies, salad....all the good stuff. Well about 3 months in my husband (who by the way is 6'0 and 175) says to me that he's been losing weight and really doesn't need to. Mind you he was very nice about it.

Well I thought about it and realized that both my husband and 10 year old son need more carbs in their diet then I do. So i gradually started cooking a starch with dinner. I have in the house...cereal, poptarts etc....because that is what my son likes.

I've just made the choice not to eat them. Yes it's very hard at times. But I feel much better about myself and how I look. That... I will never give up for anyone. Just be strong and put your mind to it!

I have tried all the "above" suggestion, but to no avail. I don't really miss most treats (with the exceptions of chocolate and donuts) or pasta and potatoes that much, but when something that I really love is put in front of me I will eat it. That is my problem as well as the fact that I have a real hard time throwing away food. I was raised by my grandmother who lived through the Great Depression and always made me finish every bite on my plate. She actually was one of those people who said I should be grateful for all my food, "just think of all those starving children in China." She actually said that. The result? I am now obese. I realize my weight is MY responsibility ultimately, but a lifetime of thinking like that makes me very hesitant to throw away food when my husband brings it to me. It isn't just my husband either. My son gave me a huge heart- shaped box of chocolate candies for Valentine's Day. Maybe if I could just say in my mind that these things are POISON I can make myself throw them away.

It's funny you mentioned about throwing food away. I used to feel the same way, and the kids would yell at me for leaving all but the toppings of a piece of pizza "go to waste", but you know what? I had to ask myself where I would rather that crust (or whatever) be? In the garbage or on me?

It's not going to save any money or feed any kids in China eating what he brings you rather than throwing it out, so that rationalization is right out the window. I don't think there is a person on this board who doesn't understand about impulse eating, but it ultimately comes down to how badly you want it. If you are going to succeed, you'll have to resist that stuff everywhere you go, and you can!
I know you can do it, because if I can, anyone can.

I completely understand the "not throwing away food" problem. I'm there with you. If my DH wont eat it and I know I wont think of another option. I see your a retired teach. Means you don't work anywhere? I usually bring it to work and leave it out for anyone to take. Do you know your neighbors? Mailman, ups, etc find anyone that you can give it to. Tell them, this was given to me as a gift but you see, I'm working awfully hard to change my eating habits and I really don't want to eat this. Would you be willing. What ever it takes. If there are no possabilities to give it away then as a last resort DO throw it away. It really is poison. If you eat it you are only poisoning your self. You really are. Your health will go down the drain and you will have more problems. That is poison to your body. If you don't eat it, you will feel better about yourself.

Take the food to the local shelter in your town. You know they will appreciate it.
I wish you the best, do this for YOU.

Deana

My mom doesn't exactly try to sabotage my diet, she makes the world's best Mexican food and it's so hard too resist her homemade flour tortillas but I just visualize myself being thinner and that helps me resist.

Well I HAVE solved the Mexican food problem. I simply forgo the tortillas and refried beans. I cook lots of Mexican dishes. I make taco salad without the tortilla shell and chili rellenos without any flour. Fotunately my hubby loves Mexican cuisine.

Fluffy, I am well-versed in sabatoge, both self and others. Remember, no one can force feed you, no one is holding a gun to your head. Get Dr. Phil's Book, it addresses that very issue. You are going to have to learn to be strong in instances like this, your hubby won't be the only one trying to sabotage your efforts, time to get a thicker skin, so to speak.............

As for your DH's sabotage, he is doing it because he's insecure, afraid if you lose weight you'll leave him for someone thinner. How you deal with this is key, just be polite, but you have to be consistent, my ex would foil ALL attempts at previous attempts to go to the gym. Years later, now living in Washington, I've dumped the last TWO guys I was seeing for that very same reason. My #1 priority is going to the gym after work to lose this weight. One guy wasn't so verbal, just made some snide comments. When I tried talking to him about it, he clammed up tighter than you know what. I promptly dumped him, 3 weeks into the relationship, I dont have much patience for that crap, and since he wasn't supportive and did not have the ability to talk, told him goodbye. The next one was MUCH more direct, stating that I should NOT be going to the gym after work because then we wouldn't be able to spend time together. When I questioned him further about the importance of me going to the gym, he finally said that I didn't NEED to go to the gym! You've got to be kidding!!!!!!!!!!! 100lbs overweight and I don't need to go to the gym???? I saw him for what he was, an insecure control freak.

Remember...........ANYONE who tries to change your way of thinking in any form is trying to control you, no matter how subtle or direct.

I hate to say it, but there are men out there who find heavy women attractive for the very reason that they're so insecure and can't handle a good-looking, in shape, healthy woman.

So though you need to talk to your hubby, remember, you're doing this for YOU, he doesn't have to be on the boat, but he dam well better help you push off the dock!

C