Wow, what great responses and so fast. I'm so glad I'm here.
Thanks everyone.

I don't claim to be perfect, no one is. My strictness and adherence to my diet is just as much a problem as some people's cheats...being this hard on myself makes me feel secure, but limited at the same time.

Okay, I probably consumed an entire stick of butter yesterday, at least 1000calories of fat alone and MUCH more protein than any human really needs - and I have not been out of CONTROL with food for two years.

...maybe it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm only human. Maybe I should allow myself one day a month/a week to do that???

For SURE it brought up all my OLD out of control FEELINGS of when I was eating nonfat carby foods in an out of control way??? And also exercising day and night and day and night to try to rectify that...oh now those days WERE torture!

Yes, you are both right. It was probably the anxiety that went along with flying on a plane. And my reaction to it all - past baggage from my problems with food before.

But that was yesterday. I woke up today with not much of an appetite but I'm conflicted as to what or how much to eat NOW.

Fat fast just to get back on track and into ketosis for sure?

All protein for a day?

My normal amounts (which is truly probably uneccesarily overly restrictive)?

Focus on proteins first or the fat? Or should I just refocus on normal portion sizes?

But other times I think "this is a high protein diet, NOT a high fat diet" - I've said that MYSELF so many times on this board.
...but when I focus high protein and not high fat I never seem to get full!?

SO Ketogenic Atkins

A KETOGENIC Atkins diet goes like this. Atkinsers focus on the protein...find/seek/eat the protein - don't worry about the fat content. But you will ONLY get that feeling of fullness sending the signal to the brain to stop eating after enough fat reaches the duodendum (a particular portion of the intestinal tract)...this takes about 10 - 20 minutes into any meal)...and until you get that fat into the intestine there, you WILL remain hungry. This happens for some people with less fat than others, and happens faster or slower for some people than others. Given THIS - it only makes sense to eat with the initial focus on FATs.
Ketogenic Atkinsers still eat low carb, but focus on getting the fats in first...Fat is what makes you feel full so approach food with the thought - where's the fat? And EFF/GFF
"Eat Fats First to Get Full Fast" approach -
made that up. A ketogenic diet focuses on consuming 75% of calories or more from fats. It is a diet intended to control seizures in children/and is also written about by Barry Groves in the UK version of Eat Fat Get thin book.

Still have not eaten today. Not hungry yet. No big surprize. All comments welcomed. I know this was long.