Well, here I sit with my coffee, just having read all 3 pages. I have successfully managed not to spit the coffee on my screen while laughing. (And I have to say, the one at the top of page 3 was a REAL challenge).
I have some thoughts:
It seems like you are partly humorous about this and partly serious. For the serious part, here's some ideas.
CHALLENGE THIS, especially if it affects your sex life. Each time, do things differently. Such as:
OMG, LOL, how can I say this? Take none of the fluids into your body permanently. Condoms, tissues, ya know...
Eat NO SALT that day, NO alcohol, and REALLY burn up the calories that night.
Ok, if you eat no salt, take in no fluids, and STILL gain, then the next time, try eating VERY low cal and carb one day, followed by a fun night. I mean, eggs, salads, a light soup, NO EATING AFTER 6PM. Drink a ton of water that day.
OK, if you STILL gain weight that time, then I , would explore a psychological reason. Sounds heavy, but you would not believe the things the body can do.
One last thing. Are you sure you're not actually BUILDING MUSCLE? (ROFLMBO) I mean, you KNOW that muscle weighs 9 times that of fat right? Maybe you're just getting such good workouts that you're SHRINKING and firming???
'nuff said :-)
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